Winning by Watching

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend time with a dear friend who is in middle school.  Among our activities was a card game, Phase 10, that I'd played once when Julia introduced it during her last visit.  It was great to watch her competitiveness emerge during the phases of the game.  Though I lost, I won by watching her compete.

It reminded me that score is just one measure of winning.  We often win by encouraging others, spending time with them, and competing in efforts where age, skill and experience don't dictate winners.

Games We Can Win

We all play games.  Some of us acknowledge that we enjoy structured card, board, word and puzzle games.  However, when we play life games, where the rules aren't defined, we are  subject to manipulation by those who don't play by the Golden or Platinum Rules.  Our chances of winning any of the games we encounter are enhanced when we know the game, players and rules.

We owe it to ourselves to play games we can win, or choose simply to have fun playing!

Is It Just a Game?

Score keeping is necessary in all levels of competitive sports - from pre-k games through professional athletics. We all keep score in one way or another.  I don't like it when I hear someone say "it's just a game" as it seems to minimize the play.  Games serve many purposes including building skills, teaching teamwork, getting mental and/or physical exercise, reducing stress and providing entertainment for players and spectators.

Let's play!

Life Lessons from Scrabble

Scrabble has always been one of my favorite board games.  And it was great to play Words with Friends on our long road trip to and from Arkansas.  Beyond the fun, playing Scrabble offers five important life lessons:

• Make the best of what you have been given
• Build on the foundations of others
• Plan ahead
• Be a good sport
• Think creatively

Roll Again

When Edgar and I were playing backgammon yesterday, one of my dice rolled under the sofa. Reaching under the sofa, I scooped up a die, put it in the cup and rolled. Thinking that I'd mixed the dice, I looked quizzically at Edgar when a die of each color landed on the board.  Unbelievably, the only two items under the sofa were this die that we didn't know was missing and mine. 

Had the dice been the same color, we wouldn't have discovered die #2 or this bizarre coincidence.  

Oddly enough, this oddity reminded me that in life (not dice), we often quit searching when we find what we expect, rather than continue to see if other, better options exist.

Stay in the Game

I enjoy card games.  It's easy to get distracted when playing on the computer - phone calls, questions, emails, thinking about an important project or daydreaming.  In the card game of hearts, the two best outcomes are to take as few tricks containing points as possible, or to take them all.  Distractions can cause one to lose track of the tricks taken.  If one focuses exclusively on not taking tricks, the door can be opened for another to take all of the tricks. When we are distracted, we can lose sight of the bigger objective of winning the game versus avoiding losing a hand.

Most often effectively competing in the game of cards, business or life involves taking carefully calculated risks.  It's easiest to do when we are clear about our ultimate objectives and commit to keep our head and heart in the game.

Games We Play

As parents we can become so engaged in the games our children play that we can lose sight of the games we play.  Adult games are great when we enjoy them, build skills, compete, create camaraderie, relieve stress, entertain ourselves and others, engage in new relationships and/or strengthen friendships.

New Game of 21- Everyone Wins

Many adults are familiar with the "21" or Blackjack card game.  I concocted a new version of 21.  As the featured speaker for a Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative luncheon, for one of my exercises, I provided a deck of cards for each table.  My only instructions were to deal all the cards and see how many winners each table could produce.  As I'd hoped, the players shared cards to ensure that everyone was a winner. One of our 10 tables had to overcome a 21 purist.  And we had over-achiever tables that ensured that they had a 21 hand for everyone present and created 21 for as many additional hands as they could muster.

We all have opportunities to change the rules to create more winners.

Musical Chairs

I used to think of musical chairs as a children's game.  It also aptly describes planning any business event.  The difference in the scenarios is what happens to the chairs.  In the children's game, chairs are subtracted each time the music stops.  In business, chairs are added and subtracted until the music begins.

Games of Life

My family has been playing card games all my life.  We began with Go Fish and War and progressed to  Rook, Hearts and Spades.  When Edgar joined the family, he became part of the ongoing friendly, spirited competitions.  Mama and Edgar perpetually challenge Daddy and me to claim bragging rights for any particular visit.  Selective perception and a bit of psyche colors the reality of winner's records.  It's been fun to have Julia and Gar sub for any given player to keep the team competition alive, but inclusive. 

Just as Edgar and I have forged additional long-standing competitions with friends, it's been fun to see Julia and Gar enthusiastically engage and challenge their friends.

These card games provide fun, laughter, challenge and bragging rights.  Everyone starts the game anticipating victory.  Because it's prime time together, everyone wins the card games of life.

Games We Play

Football, basketball, soccer and lacrosse are all games that our very athletic son plays. He and my husband also hunt, fish and shoot.  Our daughter runs.  I swim.  And we all play spades, gin, Hearts, Scrabble, Monopoly, Taboo, Apples to Apples,  Scattergories and Farkel.  Solitaire, Freecell, Mahjong and Minesweeper offer occassional diversions. 

These are all defined games with rules that are universally understood.  We need to remember that when we're playing other less defined games, we need to share the rules with the other players.