One of the best, most painful lessons I learned happened in fourth grade. My very capable and experienced teacher told me that if I did X I'd get an A. I did X and she gave me a B. I felt like a failure (my first B) and knew that I'd been betrayed. After many tears and Mama's conversation with my teacher, we discovered that she thought (knew) I could do more. She was correct. I could have done more. However, I did what I thought it took to succeed (make an A).
Since 4th grade, I've always known that doing our best is all that ultimately matters.
Though my situation worked out fine (I graduated second in my class), it could have played out differently.
We need to be clear in our expectations and the resulting rewards. And we owe it to all involved to discuss what actions/changes might improve results.
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