I Still Have Unlimited Potential

I Still Have Unlimited Potential

I Will Not be defined by my losses

• I will learn from them
• I will forever be mindful of what is
• I will appreciate now
• I will move forward one day at a time
• I will cherish the memories
• I will thank those who remember
• I will celebrate small victories
• I will be me

 I Will Learn

• To appreciate what is
• To anticipate what might be
• To listen to myself as well as I listen to others
• To accept that one day at a time is enough
• To share the lessons from the memories
• To appreciate all who show compassion
• To create even more victories for others
• To be me

 I Will Forever

• Learn
• Be Present
• Be Grateful
• Grow each day
• Acknowledge all who have helped me be who I am
• Celebrate others
• Create opportunities for other
• Be me

I Will Appreciate

• Experiences
• Empathy
• Moments to be seized
• Each day
• Everyone who has touched my life
• Small gestures of compassion
• Those who excel
• Me

I Will Move Forward One Day at a Time

• With things to learn
• Centered on reality
• Grateful
• Incorporating what I've learned
• Embracing each morning
• Celebrating others
• Creating opportunities
• Being Me

 I Will Cherish the Memories

• Learning
• Mindful
• Appreciative
• Of each day
• That have enabled me to become who I am
• Of all who have been a part of my life
• Of victories
• Of who I have been at each stage

I Will be Thankful for

• Lessons
• Reality
• The Present
• Each Day
• Memories
• Compassion
• Successes
• Me

 I Will Celebrate

• Perpetual inquisitiveness
• That I get to walk in my own high heels
• My abundant blessings
• Today
• Yesterdays
• Everyone who is part of my life
• Successes
• My life

 I Will Realize My Unlimited Potential!

Looking Forward

When grief takes center stage in life, it is hard to think beyond the moment.  However, it is healing and healthy to find future oriented things to anticipate.  So often, when asked what another can do for us, we don't have an answer.  One of the loveliest things that our extended family did, to alleviate the anxiety of our first altered Thanksgiving, was to create a totally different venue.

It is helpful to have others engage us in interesting experiences beyond the walls of our "one day at a time" existence.

Shock

One of my childhood friends was murdered by her husband yesterday. The shock of senselessly losing someone special who has always been a part of your life leaves an enormous hole that is impossible to fill.  Thankfully a lifetime of my own wonderful memories and those shared by others who loved Katherine are flooding my heart and brain.

Faith, family and friends are always important.  With a devastating loss they are essential.

Losing a Friend

One of my Chi Omega pledge sisters lost her battle with cancer.  This bright, vibrant, witty, compassionate friend indelibly left her positive mark on many lives.  We never know how many days we are given.  Like Mary, we need to pack abundant love, life and laughter into each day. 

Scars & Stripes

My childhood was inundated with countless wonderful events and memories with Mama, Daddy, my brothers (Mark and Steve) and many multi-generational grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  "Stripes" definitely prevail with countless positive experiences and memories.  We didn't realize when we were growing up that others didn't have such a robust posse of relatives.  Though my childhood was blessed predominately with positives, a fading scar brought reality and remembrance to my idyllic childhood.

 My cousins and I were playing chase at my grandparent's remote farm.  I vividly remember lots of running and laughs before I slipped on the gravel and badly cut my knee. Though my Mother immediately (realistically) wanted to take me back to civilization to get stitches, I insisted that I'd be okay.   I was playing with the big cousins (including Reggie), and didn't want to acknowledge my vulnerability.  The (unnecessary) scar I've had for so very many years is finally fading.  Had I headed Mama's advice to abandon our adventure and get the required stitches, I wouldn't have retained the daily reminder of Reggie's life, impact and heroic death. 

I don't remember when my accident occurred, but vividly recall when we received the tragic news that my  much older cousin who I'd been playing with that day was killed in Viet Nam.  Reggie was only the second young person I knew who met an untimely death.  Sometimes scars connect us to events that wouldn't otherwise be vivid; remind us to cherish simple pleasures; and allow us to gratefully acknowledge all who have helped us become the person we were intended to be.

Scars and stripes make the stars bright each night.

Pain - Experience - Comfort

When we are in the midst of a personal crisis, it's impossible to see, believe or understand that lessons will be learned from the profound pain.  We must deal with our situation in the manner and time frame that work with our volatile emotions, fragile state and capacity to deal with well-meaning, caring, insensitive and unknowing individuals.  At the point when we've dealt with the initial shock and adjustment to an altered reality that we never imagined, we must put our new life together one baby step per day.  Some days will be baby steps forward.  Others will be baby or big steps backward.  Each step, regardless of the direction, is a  way of dealing with our new future. 

No two experiences are alike.  But, pain is real.  Regardless of the way that we process our loss, we can all benefit from sincere empathy, especially of others who have lost loved ones. 

Thus, the comfort.  When we receive the comfort extended by others, regardless of form, the giver and we benefit.  I still vividly remember critically assessing comments when my brother Mark died.  I was mourning, angry and inept at dealing with the situation.  Two years later, as we had the unthinkable grief of dealing with my brother Steve's death, I'd matured in my thinking.  Since I'd already experienced profound, untimely loss, I'd had the chance to realize, recognize and process the reality that any expression of concern is appropriate and appreciated.  We teach our children to deal with so many realities.  However, dealing with death is not in the curriculum.

Anyone who extends an expression of sympathy, regardless of form, is to be appreciated.  They've done what other well-meaning, but unacting others would like to express.

From our pain, we gain experience.  When we use our experience to comfort others we reduce our pain and increase our comfort.

Don't Wait to Say What You Mean

I've had the most devastating experience of losing my two cherished younger brothers to disease and accident. This brings vividly to mind the saying, "the things that don't kill you make you stronger."

I realize that profound loss makes us more empathetic. But I also am more attuned than many to the fact that "nothing is a given."

Our close, loving family had the unthinkable experience of losing two vibrant, most loved family members in two years. These unexpected deaths sent shock waves through our family, community and each of our individual realities.

Despite our profound and endless loss, our family is living, loving and thriving.

We all consistently say "I love you" as we greet and as we conclude a visit or call.

Please, don't wait to let others know how much they mean to you.