Rate It

One of my favorite colleagues put things in great perspective this week when she shared a tip for reacting to actions, inactions or statements that cause us angst.  Regardless of how ridiculous we think the situation is, it can be helpful to mentally rate, from 1-10, how important it is.  This simple action can give much needed perspective in choosing the battles we choose to fight. 

Fewer battles = more harmony and much less stress.

Dealing with Irrational People

There are many ways to deal with irrational people including:

• Don't
• Be quiet
• Listen
• Leave
• Call in reinforcements

Embarrassment

We can easily embarrass ourselves by what we say and do and by what we leave unsaid and undone.  However, we can become victims if we allow ourselves to be embarrassed by the actions and inactions of others.  Only when we embrace the reality that we are only responsible for our own actions and inactions do we free ourselves from embarrassment that we don't cause.

Hurt Feelings

We're all human. Sometimes we unintentionally hurt the feelings of someone we care about. And there are times when we're just angry and retaliate when we feel slighted. It's easiest to stalk off, leave or disappear. And of course, an easy response is to blame, yell or become mute.

The best response is a pause.

When we get too caught up in our emotions and reactions, we often respond inappropriately.

Bite marks on my tongue are badges of relationships improved, enhanced or salvaged. I've discovered that being silently right is often more universally satisfactory than the damage control required to amend for vocal positioning.

None of us consciously try to hurt those we care about. Life just happens. The more often I remember this and pause rather than react, the happier those I care most about and I are.

Interpersonal Skills Seal the Deal

I vividly remember a conversation years ago with a technically talented man in my group with interpersonal skills deficiencies. He couldn't understand why another person had received a promotion rather than him. I asked him who he would promote if he had two people who were equally technically talented, but one had better interpersonal skills. Without hesitating, he said "it wouldn't matter". Unfortunately there are too many people like this who think that fulfilling the technical requirements of a job is the only thing that matters.

People like to work for and with others who are competent and delightful to be around. Honing interpersonal skills can seal the deal.