Learning from Unpleasant Experiences

A dear friend and I were discussing some of her young children's recent unpleasant experiences.  One was just part of growing up, another was exposure to animal cruelty, the next was unintentionally sharing personal information with an outsider and the final situation caused insecurity about the child's future.  She was understandably upset and seemed comforted by my suggestion that the incidents might launch discussions about the importance of:

• Talking about feelings
• Respecting personal, sensitive information
• Realizing that families and love are forever
• Doing the best we can everyday and asking sincerely for forgiveness
• Acknowledging that we can’t “unsay” hurtful things

We all advance when we learn from our mistakes and those of others.

Parenting Skills Work

I've been informally polling parents for the past few days to determine if they agree with my theory that their parenting improves their managerial/leadership skills at work.  My unscientific sample yields 100% agreement that the lessons learned in parenting increase workplace effectiveness.

Some parenting lessons that apply to work:

• Consistency in direction and expectations is required.
• We learn from all those we treasure as individuals.
• Delivering an appropriate "no" is as important as delivering a hoped for "yes".
• "Because I said so" is not a sufficient explanation.
• Friendship is ideal, but not mandatory.
• Flexibility is a must.
• Trust, discretion and confidentiality are essential.
• No two individuals will think, act, respond or be motivated the same way.
• Excessive hovering is as damaging as a hands-off approach.
• A safe haven is necessary to foster differing points of view.
• Value the person and correct the errant behavior.
• Fresh perspectives help us stay current and grow.
• When someone on the home or work team has a crisis, mini-crisis, or important event, we must adapt to accommodate, regardless of what else is going on in our own sphere.
• The messiness and uncertainty of dealing with  individuals who are special to us provides spice to life.
• Resistance gives us a chance to learn, query and adapt when we hear:  "I don't want to _________. I don't like ____________. He's/She's not being fair".

I know I'm a better leader because I've had the privilege to parent two amazing children.  How about you?