Flexibility x 2

Flexibility is a critically important life, leadership and relationship skill especially when dealing with controlling personalities.  Recently, I was notified 2 days before an event, that I was expected to be a panelist at an event that I had expected to merely attend.  Fortunately, the time was blocked on my crazy calendar and I responded affirmatively that I'd participate.  Despite my immediate request for info, it wasn't available until less than 24 hours prior to the event.  Thus, Flexibility 1.

Arriving prior to the time requested, I was ready to deliver on the late request.  However, one of the panelists arrived moments before introductions, and hadn't adhered to the late delivered instructions.  Nor did the panelist respond to the moderator's request to adhere.  The alphabetical array of panelists allowed this non-adhering panelist to high jack the expected format.

Fortunately, each panelist followed suit and adapted to the new mini keynote address.  Thus, Flexibility 2.

Leadership requires flexibility x 2 or 3 or 4...

How Great Women Lead

Bonnie St. John and her then 14-year-old daughter Darcy Deane authored a book, How Great Women Lead.  Their refreshing look at leadership is the result of two years of interviews with 20 diverse female leaders, including celebrated leaders and those who also deserve to be well-known and celebrated for their contributions.  This mother-daughter team's shared approach to interviews provides dual generational insight into this important topic.

Leaders include:

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf - President of Liberia, Nobel Laureate
Leslie Lewin - Executive Director, Seeds of Peace
Condoleezza Rice- Former U.S. Secretary of State, Professor at Stanford University
Sharon Allen - First Female Chairman of the Board, Deloitte LLP
Hillary Rodham Clinton - Former U.S. Secretary of State
Wendy Kopp - CEO and Founder, Teach for America
Deborah Tom - Founder of Human Systems, Ltd.
Amy Pascal - Co-Chairman, Sony Pictures Entertainment
Lt. Col. Nicole Malachowski - First Woman Thunderbird Pilot
Marin Alsop- Musical Director and Conductor - Baltimore Symphony Orchestra
Geena Davis - Women's Rights Activist, Movie Star
Noemi Ocana - Nicaraguan Director of Microfinance Loans - Opportunity International
Eileen Fisher - Fashion Designer - CEO and Founder, Eileen Fisher, Inc.
Cathy Sarubbi - Homemaker, Mother of Five
Lisa P. Jackson - Administrator, U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
Rishika Daryani - High School Junior
Sheryl Sandberg - Chief Operating Officer - Facebook
Susan Rice - U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations
Denise Dresser - Human Rights Activist, Professor - Instituto Tecnologico Autonomo de Mexico
Fay Deane - First Woman Dairy Company Chairma in New Zealand

These inspiring women share that Leaders:
Unite people to common goals and create collaborations.
Empower
Are positive
Are interested in the needs of others
Help others fulfill their potential
Create a vision
Communicate and inspire
Get very talented people to do their best work
Inspire themselves and others to dream big
Lead by example
Encourage other women to lead
Listen
Incorporate great ideas from the team
Incorporate diverse viewpoints and experiences
Achieve buy-in
Recognize the power of face-to-face
Are passionate
Let their self-confidence show
Advocate for change
Succeed with and through teams
Pay attention to details

Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In

One of my young friends who works for Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO, gave me an autographed copy of Sheryl's new book, Lean In, when it was released last Monday.  The well-researched book builds on her 2010 TED address which encouraged women to take charge of our careers (Lean In).   She shares data, provides humorous and candid anecdotes, labels biases and challenges many of us to subtly or dramatically change our approach.

Some of her key messages include:

• The leadership ambition gap for women is perpetuated by a "stereotype threat" (most leadership positions and well-compensated positions are held by men) and the assumption that a creating a successful personal and professional life is difficult to impossible.
• Sit at the table - don't let self-doubt or deference banish you to the sidelines in meetings where your voice is needed.
• Success and likeability are usually negatively correlated for women
• The proverbial career ladder would better be viewed as a jungle gym, with multiple paths to success rather than a single straight upward trajectory.
• Mentorship, sponsorship and seized conversations can all offer advantages.
• Authentic communication requires acknowledging others' truths as well as our own
• Don't plan with specificity too far ahead - keep options open
• Make your partner a true partner.
• We can't do it all, all the time.
• No one wants her achievements minimized.  

Searching for Leadership

O Y L B C D E V L O V N I P E M J S W X X O E E M 
M D R L O I E T V D K M R M H M A A C E V R R C W 
C N X Z M J E T E X O E S T L U S E R D R G U C Q 
V I D T M A H C S D S Z P Y S N Q B T W R A T M P 
A S G C U Z I Q E E F X S D A U J L M S C N U B O 
L Z S A N S J L N S R P C E C G Z M E B Q I F H P 
E P Q E I Q W T C R J E I O E L B A I W Y Z B D F 
A W J V C A P A B L E B T N L D E N I M R E T E D 
D H E K A C P W H H R X X N S L S Y R A H D T A T 
I A Y I T N U Z Q A P Q I I I P A T X G K H J Y K 
N E L C O E E S K E O Y Z E S H I B P P C N X Q D 
G D D E R I T N N P K C M C E L S R O U C Y S P M 
E M J C U E L H V I S I O N R B O F I R B J O U J 
T U F H G W N T I O E R W E M N I D J N A G Q H X 
A V N W O Q P E M C I A D F N J H A O Z G T G W E 
V D F B A H I S T N A A W Z A F L H S N C D I N Y 
I N Y F L Y H M T S E L K W D I R E C T I O N V C 
T B A I S U S E T L I Q O E J O M Z K H S Y T Y E 
O A L Z F N R D O U C L T Y Z O I M D U C P K D W 
M D L G A A E X D P N T F E C U K J M T A D P N S 
O B Z W C W D L L B I G T T P T D N E P E Y K L E 
S E I T G N A D U M F X U I E G L Z M T Z M E O E 
N N I E J W E R M Z Q O S W X E L S L O M M X H F 
T V A L P J L O E U I O O H Y M X C A A G N X H B 
E K I B V C C P L B O B R W Z O E U I L X S K T X 

ABLE
AWARE
CAPABLE
COLLABORATIVE
COMMITTED
COMMUNICATOR
DECISIVE
DETERMINED
DIRECTION
ETHICAL
FUTURE
GOALS
INSPIRING
INTERACTIVE
INTERESTED
INVOLVED
LEADER
LEADERSHIP
LEADING
LISTENER
MODEL
MOTIVATE
ORGANIZED
OUTCOMES
PRESENT
RESULTS
SUCCESS
TEAM
VISION

Leadership Wisdom of Crowds

At a recent Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative Luncheon, I asked attendees to submit their perspectives on leadership.  The fascinating list had few duplicate responses, but two characteristics did receive multiple mentions - listening and leading by example. 

• Accept the limitations of your staff
• Attitude – your team follows your mood
• Authenticity
• Be consistent
• Be organized
• Being open to the possibilities
• Character
• Commitment to excellence
• Committed
• Communication
• Compassion
• Confidence
• Connected
• Connectiveness,  inspiring excellence and creativity yield new ideas and new ways to approach challenges
• Courage
• Decisive
• Delegate
• Direction
• Empathy
• Employee engagement
• Empower your people with clear expectations
• Faith in God
• Go beyond self to help with an open mind
• Guidance
• Humility
• In order to lead you have to be willing to follow
• Integrity
• Know your limits so you don’t lose credibility
• Lead by example
• Lead yourself
• Learning to be like Jesus, servant leadership, a servant to others’ needs
• Learning your strengths, recognizing the strengths of those around you and developing ways to use all of those combined in order to provide the best service or product.
• Listening
• Love
• Make every encounter a networking opportunity
• Mentor
• Motivating
• Passion
• Patience
• People development
• Perseverance
• Readers are leaders! Have you read a great business book lately?
• Respect
• See the good in people
• Selflessness
• Sense of humor
• Set goals
• Sharing knowledge
• Sharing opportunities to do challenging things
• Smile
• Smoothly handling transitions from challenges to solutions in meetings without negativity - keep everyone happy
• Stay focused
• Strength
• Trust
• Vulnerability
• Willing to teach
• Without leadership there is no going forward
• Working as a team

I'd love to hear your perspectives!

Multipliers by Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown

The authors clearly contrast effective leaders, Multipliers, with ineffective leaders, Diminishers.  On average, Multipliers get twice the capability from those they lead.  The five practices that distinguish Multipliers are:

• Attract and optimize talent throughout the organization.
• Remove fear and require best thinking.
• Extend challenges and create the belief that success will result.
• Arrive at sound decisions through rigorous debate.
• Provide resources and expect ownership and accountability.

Brad McCoy's Leadership Lessons

Brad McCoy was the featured speaker at the recent Touchdown Club Sterling Bank Sportsmanship luncheon.  Three key points he made are:

• Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child
• Coaches (and other leaders) don't have the luxury of bad days
• No organization can rise higher than the constraints imposed by its leadership

Lead Like Dr. Seuss

I've always loved Dr. Seuss books.  So I thought about leadership in his rhyming fashion.

So You Want to Lead?
Work as Agreed
Assess Need
Plant the Seed
Follow a Creed
Acknowledge a Good Deed
Read, Read, Read
Be an Info Feed
Listen and Heed
Learn to Plead
Know When to Cede
Control Greed
Bite Tongue When Teed
Daily Lead

Leadership Bones

There are countless ways to view, describe and practice leadership.  We have 206 bones in our bodies which can be grouped into 5 major categories: skull, vertebrae, ribs/sternum, pelvis and arms/legs.  Though our skull has only 28 bones (13.6%), the brain is at the body's pinnacle and controls all other elements/actions.  Creative, decisive and strategic thinking sets the stage for success in any organization. 

Because over half (120) of our bones are in our arms and legs - this would indicate that action is one of the most important leadership elements.  The best plan which isn't executed serves two purposes: an academic exercise or an opportunity for another entrepreneur to seize.  Acting on a well-designed plan distinguishes dreamers from doers.

Vertebrae and ribs/sternum (24.3%) are the core of our being. Our spine and mid-skeleton (core values and ethics) give us a strong foundation for all of our actions. This moral compass guides our decisions.  When we think and act with high integrity, we succeed.

Leadership results when we strategically engage our brains and bodies to create positive, ethical action.

Santa Claus Leadership

Recently I was moderating a Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative panel and it occurred to me that great leaders are a lot like Santa Claus:

• belief
• positive attitude
• service orientation
• passion
• vision
• stellar reputation
• committed
• servant leader
• appropriately attired
• always planning, preparing or executing

What Leaders Do

A leader listens, learns, lights the path, lessens obstacles and leverages resources.

Parenting Skills Work

I've been informally polling parents for the past few days to determine if they agree with my theory that their parenting improves their managerial/leadership skills at work.  My unscientific sample yields 100% agreement that the lessons learned in parenting increase workplace effectiveness.

Some parenting lessons that apply to work:

• Consistency in direction and expectations is required.
• We learn from all those we treasure as individuals.
• Delivering an appropriate "no" is as important as delivering a hoped for "yes".
• "Because I said so" is not a sufficient explanation.
• Friendship is ideal, but not mandatory.
• Flexibility is a must.
• Trust, discretion and confidentiality are essential.
• No two individuals will think, act, respond or be motivated the same way.
• Excessive hovering is as damaging as a hands-off approach.
• A safe haven is necessary to foster differing points of view.
• Value the person and correct the errant behavior.
• Fresh perspectives help us stay current and grow.
• When someone on the home or work team has a crisis, mini-crisis, or important event, we must adapt to accommodate, regardless of what else is going on in our own sphere.
• The messiness and uncertainty of dealing with  individuals who are special to us provides spice to life.
• Resistance gives us a chance to learn, query and adapt when we hear:  "I don't want to _________. I don't like ____________. He's/She's not being fair".

I know I'm a better leader because I've had the privilege to parent two amazing children.  How about you?

Leadership's in the Cards

I like unique and easy ways to categorize things.  Comparing leadership to a deck of cards is one way to focus on its important aspects. 

• Ace - Ace areas of expertise.  When we focus on building our own strengths and those of team members everyone wins.
• King and Queen - Treat others with the respect that one would demonstrate to a beloved queen or king. 
• Jack - Be a Jack-of-all interpersonal skills.
• 10 - There is no single Perfect 10. Prior to 2008, we were accustomed to seeing Olympic gymnasts rated on a 10 point scale.  Just as the Perfect 10 era has closed in gymnastics scoring, we must be ever vigilant about seeking the current right way to measure successes.
• 8 - A stop sign has 8 sides.  Though the sign clearly tells us to stop, if one side were missing, the visual message wouldn't be complete or clear.  Stopping, at least briefly, to consider multiple available options gives us the opportunity to choose the best available path.
• 7 - Focusing on our 7 Hs: Head, Heart, Hands, Health, Humor, History and Home (5/31/09 blog post) allows us to bring our best selves to every role.
• 6 - Though there are 7 days in the week, we all need some downtime each week to recharge our batteries, get a fresh perspective and nurture meaningful relationships. 
• 5 - There are five essential elements of wellbeing (5/30/10 blog post): career, social, financial, physical and community.  When we are thriving in all areas, we positively influence those around us.
• 4 - Forthright communications are essential.  None of us are mind readers.  When we communicate directly, frankly and clearly, we are able to align expectations and eliminate a lot of second-guessing.
• 3 - It takes three weeks to form a new habit.  When we introduce change we need to realize that the new way of doing things won't be instantly implemented with great skill.  It takes time.
• 2 - Two-way communication is essential.  We need to consistently seek feedback so that we know how we are progressing toward goals and to understand what is and is not working.
• 1 - Everyone is an individual.  We cannot expect others to view the world exactly the way that we do.  Understanding, embracing and engaging these different perspectives strengthens teams and organizations.

Look for what is missing, doesn't look or feel right, or is out of sequence.  Many of us hastily process things as presented with little analysis.  Number 9 was omitted above to emphasize this point.

Leadership

There are countless descriptions of leadership.  Mine is, "creatively inspiring others to work together to achieve a goal."

Leadership for a Lifetime

Dr. Harriett Romo, a Sociology Professor and Director of the Child and Adolescent Policy Research Institute at the University of Texas at San Antonio, was our terrific keynote speaker at Sterling Bank's Women's Business Initiative luncheon yesterday.  This warm, charming, intelligent and successful woman presented "Leadership for a Lifetime".

She vividly contrasted very different effective leadership styles of several female leaders:

• Mother Theresa - an unassuming leader who passionately and compassionately fought poverty
• Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton - charismatic leaders who've effectively used media exposure
• Nancy Pelosi and Condoleezza Rice - academic strategists
• Dolores Huerta - unassuming co-founder with Cesar Chavez, of United Farm Workers

She vividly described one of her own early leadership experiences.  As a 10-year old child she organized a variety show engaging her neighborhood's younger and older children.   Though she was clearly the leader, she was quick to highlight that followers and colleagues are crucial parts of the leadership equation.

Leaders learn their skills through mentoring, observing, reading and experiencing.

One of Dr. Romo's huge community collaborative successes, building a child development center at Navarro High School, required vision, action, persistence, passion, partnerships and funding. 

She closed with a proverb from Dr. Eugene Washington:  "If you have a vision without action, it's a daydream. If you have action without vision, it's a nightmare."

Because of Dr. Romo's vision with action, she's brought dreams to life.

Connected and Committed Leader

At a recent Girls Inc. luncheon I had the good fortune to visit with a gracious speaker, author, consultant and former corporate executive, Laura Lopez.  I've just finished her book, The Connected and Committed Leader - Lessons from Home. Results at Work.  Adopting a child changed her leadership focus and effectiveness.   She reminds us that respect leads to trust; effective leadership permeates our lives; and leadership is relationship based - individual to individual, horizontal, vertical and 360 degrees.

Laura's seven essential leadership insights are:

1. Believe and Let Go
2. Be Curious and See Everyone
3. Be Receptive and Yield
4. Be Real and Serve
5. Be Humble and Keep Your Ego in Check
6. Be Consistent and Clear
7. Be Vulnerable and Give of Yourself

One of Laura's great admonitions is, "When we impose our reality or our will onto others, there isn't enough room for their own. So we rob them of their potential and they can't ever perform to their fullest capability."

I appreciate Laura's insights and believe that when we bring our whole best selves to any endeavor, results improve exponentially.

Lacrosse

Edgar and the children had been tossing a lacrosse ball around for years, but I'd never seen a lacrosse game until Gar entered middle school.  Many of my friends were equally unfamiliar with the game and said "that's great, at least it's not football".  "No, I told them, it's football with sticks."  Of course it's not.  It just seemed that way initially. 

Though I'm still very much a rules novice, I've come to appreciate lacrosse on many levels.

•  It's a fast-paced game where every play and player makes a difference.  Teamwork is a life-long necessity and it's great to see its importance in a setting that my player loves.
• It requires practice, determination, eye-hand coordination, speed and agility. Each game provides an opportunity to see how well an individual player and the team are mastering these fundamentals.  Life (like lacrosse) is best lived with a desire for continuous learning and receptivity to timely, actionable feedback.  
• The team changes each season as seniors graduate and younger players are selected to join varsity. Seniority is only a matter of age. In lacrosse and life, respect is earned, not commanded. A high functioning team is one where every player is valued as an individual and as a team contributor, regardless of title or tenure.

The icing on the cake is the chance to frequently strengthen the bonds of fond camaraderie with a delightful, supportive, fun-loving group of lacrosse parents.

It Doesn't Always Matter How Big You Are

The biggest and strongest win many competitions. When position and strategy play a more significant role, size doesn't matter. This is beautifully illustrated in an exchange between two radio operators communicating from the water. The first operator says, "Move right." The second operator responds, "I'm aboard an aircraft carrier, I have priority and I'm moving left." The first operator responds, "Your call. I'm in a lighthouse."

We Lead From Where We Are

There are multiple leadership options including: situational, leading by example, authoritative/positional and charismatic.

Situational leadership often evolves during a crisis. What is the disaster recovery plan? IT and Operations experts can emerge as situational leaders. What do we do when the economy slows? By asking all customer facing associates "How can we provide new product/service offerings to better serve our customers and achieve competitive advantage?" we gain invaluable insight. This is a great way to identify emerging leaders.

Leading by example is a leadership option available to every person. My daughter incorporates exercise into her daily time budget and thus influences the rest of us to be more consciously and consistently active. When the sales leader schedules 15 appointments per week, you get the message that a combination of breakfast, lunch, dinner and non-meal appointments will fit into every work day.

Authorative/Positional leadership is a leadership option most commonly experienced in the business, government and academic workspace. The boss has the ultimate say. Though this is a reality, every highly effective organization (except military) with which I've been affiliated, uses this as the tie-breaker rather than the mode of operation. It's clear that there are non-negotiables, but when teams adhere to core principals and can compromise, collaborate and deliver solutions without invoking authorative/positional leadership, everyone wins.

Charismatic leaders have a connection that resonates with others, sometimes despite the message. I had a list, but intentionally deleted them, because we all have our own lists of folks who have prompted us to act based upon their passion, energy and "expertise".

Each of us has the opportunity to lead regardless of the position we hold. Only authoritative/positional leadership is determined by the job we hold. We can all be positive situational and charismatic leaders. And, of course, we can all lead by example.

Leadership Challenge

One of my friends who is pursuing a master's degree asked for my answers to two questions:

1. What prevents leaders from doing the right things?

2. What can be done to improve the system?

My response to her follows:

I believe there are a number of factors which prevent leaders from doing the right things including lack of skill, integrity issues, competing priorities, focusing on efficiency at the expense of effectiveness, underdeveloped communications skills, making decisions in a silo, taking a short-term perspective, fear of change, not exercising the golden rule, acting without sufficient information and getting caught in the business of doing without taking time to plan.

Improvements can occur when:

An assessment of skill for the new position is accurately evaluated. Organizations have a tendency to promote the best sales or technical person without acknowledging that the subject matter expertise is only one component of managing a group.

High integrity is a non-negotiable factor in choosing leaders at all levels.

Important v. urgent matters are balanced by developing a clear mission statement.

There is a focus on outcomes rather than mere deliverables.

Excellent written, verbal and listening skills are developed.

An environment is present that values collaboration.

Specific plans are developed which include timelines, pros and cons, and training to minimize the fear of change.

Continual improvement is embraced.

Others are treated as you’d like to be treated.

Planning is expected.

Very bright people are hired from whom you can learn.

Let's all rise to the leadership challenge!