Happiness is a Choice

Everyone has problems, challenges and disappointments (PCD).  How we deal with them is a choice that permeates every facet of our lives.  If we all chose to focus primarily on PCD we would be perpetually unhappy, certainly pessimistic and eventually a relationship-wounder/killer. 

I'm not naive.  I have definitely deeply mourned untimely deaths, dealt with unfavorable diagnoses and overcome many other obstacles.  Nonetheless, I deeply believe that we can create our own happiness.  Regardless of our PCD, we can focus some of our thoughts on the people for whom we are grateful, the things that we enjoy, and the myriad freedoms and blessings that we, as Americans, often take for granted.

Happiness is the healthiest and best choice!  Depending upon our PCDs we may begin with moments of happiness, which can be extended to hours, days and years.

We must deal with our PCDs, but focusing on appreciation for all that is right in our lives, acknowledging the positive meaning and impact of others who are significant in our lives, and rejecting non-situational unhappiness allows us to snuff out an ongoing state of unhappiness. 

With practice, happiness will prevail!

Steps:
Choose Happiness
Acknowledge PCD
Choose Happiness
Repeat

What Do You Mean by Can't?

When we say we can't do something it can mean:

• we have a conflict
• we don't want to
• we don't know how
• we are not physically able
• we don't have the qualifications
• we are not geographically near the opportunity
• we don't have permission
• we don't have time
• we don't have resources
• we've already done it and it's a one-time opportunity

When it's something we'd like to pursue if the reasons above could be overcome, it's helpful to think in terms of I haven't rather than I can't. 

If I say that I haven't yet done something, it leaves the door open for barriers to achievement to be removed. 

What Are You Afraid Of?

Are you afraid of:
Succeeding
Failing
Dark
Daylight
Weight Gain
Weight Loss
Asking
Answering
Monster Customers
Ghost Customers
Being
Doing
Known
Unknown

Once we realize that we are in control, many of our fears disappear.

What Happens When Things Explode?

What do you do when valued providers don't meet their commitments?

I arrived a few minutes after the expected pick-up time at my favorite and often used "big kid's happy meal provider". Imagine my surprise when this ever ready provider had experienced an ordering glitch. How it was handled was most admirable! Though I was already on the way, I now know that I received a message as soon as the problem was discovered. (Note to self: Give every time-sensitive contact a cellphone #). When I arrived, I was immediately greeted with the message "as soon as we discovered the problem we tried to reach you" (yes they did!)and they had all hands on deck to fix it. They gave me two bags of yummy, homemade brownies to diffuse the situation.

The rest of the story...

Despite the unfortunate delay, the honored group for whom the meals were intended was feted "on-time".
Some of the brownies were used to make an afternoon "non-food" recognition celebration more special.
The remainder of the brownies provided many of my hard-working associates an unexpected afternoon "sweet treat".

This is a vivid reminder that when we have a valued relationship, we can weather unexpected storms.

Reinventing Ourselves

How often I have remarked that I really did learn everything I needed to know at home and in kindergarten:
1. Love your brother and neighbor
2. Treat others as you want to be treated
3. Cut and paste is as relevant to business as it is to arts and crafts

As we think about reinventing ourselves I’m going to focus on seven aspects of our lives, seven H’s: Head, Heart, Hands, Health, Humor, History and Home.

Head – What else do you need to know in order to do what you want to do? What stimulates you intellectually? When I wanted a new intellectual challenge I tackled law school. Though I’ve never practiced, I’ve learned invaluably from this educational pursuit. How are you challenging yourself? Understand how you see yourself and how others see you. You can use an instrument as formal as 360 feedback document. You can use a method as simple as asking valued friends.

Learn to accept the things about you that you can’t change. I have finally accepted the fact that I will never be tall. Learn to accept the things around you that you can’t change. Accept that you can only change yourself and the way you respond to others. You can’t change anyone else.

Learn from everyone you meet. Cab drivers and CEOs both have fascinating stories and lessons to share.

Think of three things you know how to do well.

Heart – What are your passions? How are you pursuing them? What did you enjoy doing as a child? Family, friends, faith and my community have my heart. There will never be enough time or money to successfully address the many needs in our community. Prioritizing those areas that touch your heart will allow you to have the biggest impact. Think of three things you love.

Hands – What are you going to do to make a difference in the lives of others? How are you reaching out to others? Who can help you? Who can you help? You cannot do it all! I’ve realized that children’s issues, education and Houston are causes that I relate best to so I’ve committed time, money and energy for them. Think of three people in whose lives you’ve made a difference.

Health – An ounce of prevention truly is worth a pound of cure. Mental, physical and spiritual health is important to well-being. Make time for yourself every day. I, too, am and working wife, mother and community volunteer.. Light a candle. Pray or meditate on your way to work. Read a book on the exercise bike (multi-tasking at its best!) I like to make each moment count at least twice.

Set realistic objectives rather than impossible dreams. I will never be an opera singer, but it is realistic that I could join a chorus of Happy Birthday with others. Simple goals – I set mine to read 12 books the first year and was able to read 25.

Think of three things you’d like to change or do better.

Humor – Can you laugh at yourself? Do you laugh often? I have gotten laryngitis several times and my laugh is what my co-workers ay they miss most. Laugh at least three times per day!

History – What have you done? How do you wish to be remembered? I want most to be remembered as a loving person of impeccable character who gave it her best and made a difference. Think of three things you are proud of.

Home – Is your home your haven? Are you enjoying your possessions? I always have my cocktails in a Baccarat glass with a pressed linen napkin, whether or not we have guests. Think of three things you love most about your home.

What would you like to change? In 3 weeks, you can form a new habit.

I’ll leave you with these final three thoughts:
Appreciate the little things – the many colors of green in the foliage on the way to work

Adopt an Attitude of gratitude – appreciation for a job well done or simple acts of kindness.

Expect good things – and they will happen

Lessons Learned from Hurricane Ike

Hurricane Ike caused enormous loss and disruption to the Texas Gulf Coast and our residents. A natural disaster of this magnitude reminds us of the many things we take for granted under normal circumstances. And as is the case with many adversities, there are lessons learned:

I cannot control everything
• I can lead, plan and execute - Leadership, compassion and ethics are crucial
• Some things are beyond my control – weather patterns, customer priorities, customer whims
• I must control the things I can- work ethic, not putting all my eggs in one basket, viewing things through a customer lens to achieve win-win solutions, looking for alternate solutions

No matter how ferocious, the storm will end
• In the midst of the hurricane or business crisis, this is not always evident.
• As soon as the storm is over, express gratitude.
• Begin recovery as soon as practical.

We are all in this together
• Teamwork is a part of most company’s stated or implied values and is essential even in a sole proprietorship.
• The necessity of teamwork is clearly evident as Houston recovers from the ravages of Ike – family, friends, neighbors, local, state and federal governments, critical businesses – grocery stores, electric providers, gas stations, banks, debris removers.
• No one can ever have too many friends/contacts.

Plan ahead
• Having a continuity plan can make the difference between quick recovery and lack of survival.
• The plan needs to be thorough and implementable. A week’s worth of provisions seems excessive until most of the area is without power.
• Work the plan. Now is not the time to write a new plan on the fly.
• It is critical however, to make necessary modifications. No plan can proceed without modifications regardless of how good it is.

Priorities change
• Maslow’s hierarchy of needs became crystal clear when water, ice, food and fuel were the most important items
• As your business grows and your clients’ needs change you will need to change -Flexibility is essential

Everyone needs something
• Sometimes the needs are basic and sometimes complex
• Needs and wants must be addressed differently
• Ask open-ended relevant questions
• Know what needs you can meet – offer additional resources for those you can’t

Attitude of gratitude
• Family, Faith and Health are enough
• Focus on what we have
• Life must go on – survivor/thriver attitude

Time is relative and distance matters
• Instantaneous responses that we’ve adopted are not always possible or positive

Everyone has a story – let your customers and friends tell theirs
• Listening is an act of compassion
• Concern, interest and understanding strengthen the relationship

Intensity drives impact
• Storm intensity drove damage
• Productive, focused business intensity drives results
• Power of 1+