Responses to Unfamiliar

It is always interesting to note how others react to the unfamiliar including:

• caution
• acceptance
• waiting to see how others respond
• questioning
• disengaging
• eagerness
• curiosity
• exploring
• leaving
• getting information from the most knowledgeable person present
• stress
• excitement
• nonchalance
• rejection
• endorsement

None of these is right or wrong.  These are simply different ways of processing new things. Regardless of our enthusiasm, it's important for those of us introducing change, to be able to recognize and accommodate various understandable ways of processing the unfamiliar. 

Degrees of Difficulty

Julia, Gar and I had long anticipated this past long weekend and approached our three very different races - 5k, marathon and half-marathon with varying degrees of preparation.  The only different challenge facing me in my 5k was Austin's hills, as the distance was within my 1 - 3 mile daily run range.  Julia prepared diligently for her first marathon, after successfully completing 4 half-marathons and two Ragnar relays.  And though several of her training runs incorporated distances greater than her previous longest distance of 13.1 miles, she'd not yet completed 26.2 miles, nor had she trained on hills like Austin would present.  And Gar approached his first half-marathon, with the expectation that years of athleticism and youth, rather than training, would serve him well.

We each completed our races with better results than expected.  And we each embraced different degrees of difficulty for ourselves.  My race would not have been a challenge for either of my children, but I increased my normal pace and ran my fastest time ever.  Gar's race was an amazing feat for him, but would have just been a 5th half-marathon finish for Julia.  And Julia's goal-setting, preparation and determination served her well in completing a race which a small percentage of the population even attempts.  Yet, scores of runners also completed her race.

It worked out beautifully that we were all proving something only to ourselves, and could appreciate and celebrate the accomplishments of our other cherished family members.

It's important to realize that what is easy for one is a momentous accomplishment for another.  Degrees of difficulty are very individualized.

Left, Left, Right, Left, Left

At a recent luncheon, a right-handed attendee, shocked me with her observation that of the eight guests at our table, four of us were left-handed.  This was the first time I'd ever had a right-hander comment on handedness. My assumption has always been that only left-handers notice, because right-handers don't even think of handedness.  My immediate question was, "Do you have a left-handed child?".  Not surprisingly, she does.

Left-handers have had life-long experiences of adapting to right-handed tools and processes, so we notice this difference.  This awareness, or lack thereof, probably occurs with other subtle differences, as well.  We can benefit from the attention to details and perspectives these differences provide.

Embracing our Unique Gifts

This morning provided another fabulous opportunity, not only to start the day, but to also provide some great thoughts to influence future days.  The remarkable Henry Winkler, keynoted an event benefiting Briarwood School, a terrific place to help bright young minds with learning differences achieve their potential.

He was gracious and engaging with all attendees, before and after his presentation, and immensely entertaining and memorable with his remarks.  Some of his share-worthy tidbits include:

• Don't put a period at the end of a negative thought (What a great and powerful way to banish negative, draining thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations and aspirations!)
• If you will it, it is not a dream
• Only one person needs to say "Yes"
• Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable bunch of qualities and if we don't give our gift to the world, something will be left undone
• Let your imagination have personality
• We don't always know the impact we might have (An autistic child who had not previously spoken said, "Fonz" and a year later had a vocabulary of 100 words)

Embracing and sharing our unique gifts beautifully connects everything. 

Start Again

Reboot sounds so technical.  However, starting again sounds so full of promise.

Whether we are human or machine, we sometimes need a break from continuous expectations.  Machines tend to let us know in gentle, or service impacting ways, that something needs to change.  As humans, we aren't usually as apt to realize or communicate that we've reached our limits of operating as we usually have operated.

Time out, restart, reboot or start again are all differently acceptable ways of positively accepting that something needs to change in order to realize different outcomes.

Starting again, with mutually endorsed objectives and mutually accepted unmet expectations, can be the human equivalent of a reboot.

Diversity is Differently Abled

Though we often think of the term "differently abled" to address those with special needs, it is a term we all need to embrace to recognize, engage and utilize the different skills, abilities, experiences, insights and perspectives each of us have to offer.  So often we seek and find commonality, yet innovations, breakthroughs and ideal engagements are generally the result of incorporating different ways of thinking, seeing and acting.

Now and Next

Regardless of our passions, age or experience -  we owe it to ourselves, families, communities and careers to consciously consider what we are doing now that excites us, or brings us joy, or makes a difference.  (Ideally these things will converge.) And with those answers, we must consider how we will invest our time, talent and treasure to insure that what we do next will continue to make a difference to us, those we love and those we aspire to help.

Perspective

The newest terrific book I've read, is The Noticer by Andy Andrews.  This birthday present, from a dear friend, is so rich with life lessons that I can't quit touting it to friends. It is a quick 156 page read featuring a wise old man who appears, just as needed, to provide "perspective" to young and old.
His life lessons include:

• Other people's experience is the best teacher.
• Whatever you focus on, increases.
• A true friend brings out the best in you.
• We communicate and receive indications of love as puppies, cats, goldfish or canaries.
• Only 8% of the things most of us worry about are legitimate concerns.
• By examining a single leaf in a forest, you can determine the season and the type of tree.  
• Tiny differences can have huge impacts.
• When you need to accomplish something great, you need an idea and action.
• There is no power in intention, only in doing.
• Choices have far greater consequences than mere mistakes.

Election Oddity

Today's runoff election put Republican and Democratic voters from our area precincts in a location where Edgar and I have never before voted.  Though we've voted in countless elections in the past many years, the new location was not the oddity that struck me.  The oddity was that for my first time as a voter, Democrats and Republicans were voting in the same room during a primary election, and the party election divider placed Republicans on the left and Democrats on the right.

Though I have no idea if the placements were intentional or random, it was interesting that Republican voters, typically identified as right-leaning had to go left to cast ballots and Democratic voters usually tagged as left-leaning voters had to veer right.  Perhaps this was a subtle message that we all need to be a little less partisan.

Everyone's Insecure About Something

Watching the Olympics reminds me that even the most accomplished people have some insecurity.  No one is 100% confident in every situation.  Insecurities include the possibility that someone is:

• better
• faster
• stronger
• smarter
• prettier or more handsome
• better prepared
• more well-rounded
• more stylish
• better connected
• more popular

Or that we will say, do or wear something inappropriate.
Or that we will be too early, too late or not welcome.

The list of insecurities is endless.  Knowing that everyone has at least one insecurity makes being human less stressful.

How Full is Your Glass?

One of the classic differentiators between optimists and pessimists is whether they see the glass as half-full or half-empty. I was born and raised as an optimist and see the glass as full and overflowing.  However, I know several folks whose glass is half-empty, cracked and leaking.  This week I learned of the ultimate pessimist who asks, "What glass?".

Getting Ready

I barely slept thinking of all the things I needed to do and remember before leaving for orientation and finally got up an hour before my alarm rang.  Gar hopped out of bed 10 minutes before we were scheduled to leave for the airport. 

There are a million different ways to get ready for a trip or project.  Appreciating differences is a big part of getting along.

Starting the Day

Our family has different ways of waking up.  Some pop up ready to tackle whatever the day holds.  Others cling to the covers until the last moment.  The way we start the day is soon forgotten as we fully engage in the day's activities.  This is just another reminder to me that there are myriad ways to get things done.

A Herd of Individuals

It's easy to categorize a group with a convenient label. However, I designed my diverse herd of pigs as a charitable fundraising tool, to appeal to many charity-minded individuals.

Regardless of our similarities, we are all unique individuals.  Our unique characteristics make us valuable members of the herd.

Snowflakes in July

It is the norm to want to group individuals and things by their common characteristics. Snowflakes, fingerprints and individual personalities are unique and special.   They defy neat groupings.  We cherish their individuality.

When we resort to least common denominator to try to put everything and everyone in a neat category, we risk missing the important differentiation.  By trying to ascertain what is uniquely interesting we create memorable, beneficial distinctions. 
I'm going to be looking for snowflake characteristics in those with whom I interact this July.

How Do You Get to ...?

When you ask for the best way to get to a particular location, you'll generally get two different answers from my husband and me.  We will both get you to the intended location.  And we each feel that ours is the best route.  "Best" is subjective.  His way is best for him and mine is best for me because we each feel that our way is quickest or least subject to traffic delays.  Our individual routes give us a feeling of control over ever-changing variables.

So often we get caught up in the unimportant mechanics of how something is accomplished rather than celebrating the myriad paths that lead to success. 

This year I'm going to try to remember that when I'm literally driving or driving a project I get to choose the path.  When someone else is at the helm, I need to enjoy the alternate route and be an enthusiastic participant in the journey.

What's Cold?

I recently attended a breakfast meeting with a speaker from Boston. The morning temperature in Houston was under 50.  For our speaker, this was a heat wave compared to her temperatures, and she was surprised to see attendees arriving in winter coats.  In the most air-conditioned city in the U.S., with a climate where the average temperature in our coldest month of January is 41, this was cold.  My mind and body can't even comprehend the temperatures endured during the winter in cold climates.

We adapt to our environments.  Though we might assume that temperature is a common denominator, what is cold to a southerner may be balmy to a northerner.  Our different climate assessments provide yet another way to highlight that two people can be exposed to the same scenario and have totally different experiences and reactions.

When common understanding is important, we need to ensure that we develop a consensus view of the scenario.  For the particular issue, we need to define what's cold.

Left-Handed in a Right-Handed World

My assumption has long been that only left-handers notice handedness. Right-handers naturally assume that everyone's right-handed. This makes perfect sense - 90-93% of the population is right-handed.

I recently had a unique experience at a meeting of 30 or so members of an advisory group. All attendees randomly selected seats. As we began eating, I noticed that there were four left-handers seated in a row. What an unexpected coincidence!

What difference does handedness make? We see the world differently.

We often have to reverse the way a right-hander shows us to do something. Though I learned to tie my shoes when I was 3, I didn't learn to tie a pretty bow until I was in college and dissected the way a right-handed friend went through the steps.

Most tools are designed for a right-handed user. We must adapt our way of using these tools or find those especially designed for left-handers. This is one more reason that we left-handers are quite creative. We intuitively think of alternative ways to do things.

We tend to seek the seats in a dining situation that will allow us to have our left hand at the left end of the table, so we don't bump elbows with our right-handed seat mates. Yes, we are most considerate!

Our right-handed teachers have to stop and think through a process when they are teaching us. I know that I always learn most from teaching another. Our right-handed teachers learn from analyzing the different way that left-handers do things.

Different ways of seeing the world are always beneficial. What inherent trait allows you to observe the world differently?