Permission

Perhaps the start of school, and the memory of years of permission slips, made me realize that we all need them.  Fortunately, we don't need to officially document and return paper forms.  However, we all need to give ourselves permission to:

• enjoy every day
• take care of our own needs, before or on parity, with the needs of others
• laugh a lot
• exert influence, power and impact wherever we are
• be successful where we are, not where we strive to be
• pursue our passions
• ask for help or advice
• make small, inconsequential mistakes or omissions
• do nothing for a day
• be rather than do

Perfect Timing - Planned or Uniquely Presented

Today, while running an errand, I fortuitously or divinely, ran into a dear friend whom I generally see only a few times a year.  As soon as I saw her, it was obvious that something was quite wrong.  Another few seconds at check-out or any other diversion would have caused us to miss the chance to visit.  And neither of us had ever visited this store during our lunch hour. Though neither of us expected this opportunity, it was perfectly timed and definitely meant to be.

When work trauma presents, it's often helpful to have an interested third party available as a biased, but helpful adviser.  In just a few minutes, we were able to construct a productive action plan.

Though it worked for us, we don't have to rely on fate or divine intervention, when we are overwhelmed.  Those who care about us are willing to find time to help us sort through life's issues.

Perfect timing can be planned or uniquely presented.

Great Advice

We are all bombarded by unsolicited advice.  Some of it may be good to excellent, but if we're not receptive, it might as well be worthless, because we won't act upon it.  And some of the unsolicited advice is terrible to dangerous.  So, wise caution is prudent in evaluating and acting upon unsolicited advice.  The more we trust the source and her or his expertise, the more likely we are to accept it.  That is, unless we feel competitive with the adviser, be it parent, friend or colleague.

However, when we solicit the advice of a trusted source and are eager to embrace it, we often not only receive a tremendous gift, but give one as well.

Today was a banner day for solicited advice from me.  And in each of the five instances, the appreciation of the recipient was so gratifying.

Great advice is that which is knowledgeably given and enthusiastically acted upon.   Great advice appropriately shared and acknowledged makes the giver and receiver both realize that a gifted exchange has occurred.

Run to Something

I thoroughly enjoyed dinner this evening with a group of friends.  Each of us has been through major job changes during the past year.  Three of us are now very happy with our opportunities, another is consulting and looking for a job, and the other is quite discontent. It was easy for the rest of us to advise our dissatisfied friend not to simply run from her situation, but to wait and run to something truly exciting.

When things aren't rosy, escape often looks very attractive.  That's when we most need our well-meaning friends to remind us to consider the positives of the current job (in her case - 5 minutes from home, terrific company and great compensation) and to look beyond the frustrations of the immediate situation.  Merely running from a frustrating job, rather than running to something demonstrably better, will yield short-term satisfaction, at best. 

And when we find an opportunity that is a truly a great fit, we should run, run, run as fast as we can.

Drink Your Own Kool-Aid

One of my friends actively encourages others to blog, but she has not been posting to her own blog.  I reminded her yesterday that she can be a more effective adviser if she drinks her own Kool-Aid.  We all can.  It's easier for others to do as we say if they also see us do what we're advocating.

Can't wait to read her next post!

Feeling Useful

I've discovered that one of the most important ways to remain vibrant is to continue to feel useful.  My precious 90 year old neighbor takes care of her next door neighbor's cats when she is away.  Regardless of the situation, when we are able to provide wanted and needed services, advice or resources to someone we care about, we both win.  Though we are frequently hesitant to ask for help, asking often provides as much benefit to the provider as to the beneficiary.

Consulting

It's always rewarding when we are able to provide valued advice that those seeking our opinions actually implement or adopt.  I've finally acknowledged that, though unpaid, I am a consultant to some accomplished friends. When I next update my resume, I may add this role.  Each time I have the privilege to consult, I also gain positive feedback from the person or group I'm advising.

What's Your Advice for 2010?

In response to another's question I offered these 10 tidbits:

• Seek to do well every day
• Listen twice as much as you talk
• Look for opportunities in the midst of challenges
• Treat others as they wish to be treated
• Act with enlightened self-interest
• Learn from everyone you meet
• Know when to say "yes" and when to say "no" and do it
• Have a positive attitude
• Think creatively
• Have fun

What are your recommendations?