Responses to Unfamiliar

It is always interesting to note how others react to the unfamiliar including:

• caution
• acceptance
• waiting to see how others respond
• questioning
• disengaging
• eagerness
• curiosity
• exploring
• leaving
• getting information from the most knowledgeable person present
• stress
• excitement
• nonchalance
• rejection
• endorsement

None of these is right or wrong.  These are simply different ways of processing new things. Regardless of our enthusiasm, it's important for those of us introducing change, to be able to recognize and accommodate various understandable ways of processing the unfamiliar. 

Accepting Bags of Rocks

Everyone has his or her own bag of rocks.  I love this way of describing all the unseen things that each of us deals with every day.  It's perhaps, just an updated version of the concept of walking a mile in another's moccasins.  We all have our public personas and our private selves.  Regardless of how carefree we are in our public appearances, we are all vulnerable in various ways.

When we consciously try to embrace the possibility that others we encounter are dealing with their bags of rocks, to the best of their abilities, we can be more accepting of small slights or things done differently than our way.

Start Again

Reboot sounds so technical.  However, starting again sounds so full of promise.

Whether we are human or machine, we sometimes need a break from continuous expectations.  Machines tend to let us know in gentle, or service impacting ways, that something needs to change.  As humans, we aren't usually as apt to realize or communicate that we've reached our limits of operating as we usually have operated.

Time out, restart, reboot or start again are all differently acceptable ways of positively accepting that something needs to change in order to realize different outcomes.

Starting again, with mutually endorsed objectives and mutually accepted unmet expectations, can be the human equivalent of a reboot.

Great Advice

We are all bombarded by unsolicited advice.  Some of it may be good to excellent, but if we're not receptive, it might as well be worthless, because we won't act upon it.  And some of the unsolicited advice is terrible to dangerous.  So, wise caution is prudent in evaluating and acting upon unsolicited advice.  The more we trust the source and her or his expertise, the more likely we are to accept it.  That is, unless we feel competitive with the adviser, be it parent, friend or colleague.

However, when we solicit the advice of a trusted source and are eager to embrace it, we often not only receive a tremendous gift, but give one as well.

Today was a banner day for solicited advice from me.  And in each of the five instances, the appreciation of the recipient was so gratifying.

Great advice is that which is knowledgeably given and enthusiastically acted upon.   Great advice appropriately shared and acknowledged makes the giver and receiver both realize that a gifted exchange has occurred.

You Will Be Missed!

People sometimes think that no one will notice if they don't attend a corporate event even though they've indicated that they will be there.  The reality is that corporate events are planned and executed by real individuals who are trying to accurately assure that everyone who attends is warmly welcomed and well accommodated.  Budget, name tags, food, beverages, handouts, room size and speaker expectations of audience size are a few of the variables the event planner is trying to manage   The event planner is expecting you to be there when you accept the invitation.  And he/she is expecting to know if your plans change.

This week, I witnessed something I've  not seen before in my long career - the worst case scenario of everyone thinking that no one would notice if they didn't attend.  Acceptances for an all colleague event were received from 131 employees.  Actual attendance was 29.

Thankfully we did not have venue or hospitality expenses for this workday event.  However, we had the embarrassment of billing a large audience to our talented internal speakers, while delivering a small, but engaged group.

When queried, the post event explanations from the no-shows largely favored client serving opportunities and included a few things beyond the colleague's control.  Others clearly didn't realize that their response mattered.

Regardless of the nobleness of the  reason for the change of plans, courtesy requires timely communication.

Sometimes It's an Alley that Connects

Yesterday, I had the privilege to kick-off our 11th year of Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative luncheons by hosting our first quarter luncheon in Dallas.  (I'll share highlights from our super presenter soon.)  It's always invigorating to see the connections that are made during these educational/networking luncheon forums.  And the event provided another example of just how connected we are.  One of our loyal attendees was seated with a first-time guest.  They discovered during the lunchtime networking that they were neighbors unmet, connected by the alley in their neighborhood and the Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative.  They've already made lunch plans! Amazingly, as I was visiting with these two exiting guests and a long-time friend who has relocated to Dallas, we discovered that this friend also lives in their neighborhood.

And it was music to my ears as I watched recipricol business relationships develop at my luncheon table.

Whether it's an alley, childhood friend, child, former colleague, classmate, family member or new connection, when we are open to relationships, we realize that everything is connected.

I'm Going to Be Tall

"I'm going to be tall when I grow up" became a remark I frequently made through the years among friends endowed and/or obsessed with height.  I didn't think much about it, and I suspect the folks who heard it didn't either. When my precious daughter was 3, she confidently announced that this wasn't going to happen.  She accurately assessed that I was as tall as I was going to be.

Being short has advantages which are not readily visible to those of you who aren't.  We get to move to the front of gatherings because everyone else can easily see over us.  We are on the front row of photos.  We are appreciatively acknowledged as we look up to others regardless of whether they deserve the acknowledgement. And, in a nation obsessed with size, small and petite has become more interesting to others.

Though I have always jokingly alluded to being tall, I'm happy just as I am.  And the more we all come to embrace who we are, the happier we become.