Little Irritants Aren't About Me

One of the hardest things to remember when we're stressed or frustrated, is that things didn't suddenly conspire to increase our angst.  It's often the way I'm viewing the circumstances that make it seem that way.  Some interesting things to rationally consider when we're very calm and controlled:

• traffic lights don't randomly turn red when a given car appears
• the trains that block traffic on Westheimer, San Felipe and Richmond travel on their schedule, not ours
• processing cut-off and pick-up times are uniformly applied
• expiration dates are set well in advance of our intent to use an item or service
• the "change password gremlins" have a preset timeline independent of our important deadlines
• adult proof packaging is intended to protect our children, not preclude us from accessing products
• airlines don't intentionally delay flights
• the copier and printer have a preset number of pages a cartridge will produce
• retail stores have established times for opening and closing
• many professional service providers tend to keep the same business hours that we do - so that very early or late appointment that would be ideal for us isn't an option
• Daylight Savings Time isn't optional
• the change in the postal rate was universal and every conceivable stamp denomination is not available (remember this if you receive snail mail from me with three stamps - 32 cent,  10 cent and 4 cent)
• the office doesn't have a mother-in-charge, we all are expected to be responsible adults
• the person declaring urgency or importance doesn't always have sway with the person assessing the situation
• there is no organizational mandate to have only one cashier

The list, is of course, endless.  Which minor irritants challenge you to remember "it's not all about me"/

You are Strong

I recently had the chance to engage with some survivors of the dysfunction caused by a loved one's addiction.  On the surface, there was fragility.  But once they shared their stories, their great strength was evident.

We often see what we expect.  Though I expected fragility, I found their strength.  If we consciously look for  and acknowledge the strength in others, everyone wins.

What Does it Take?

One of the best, most painful lessons I learned happened in fourth grade.  My very capable and experienced teacher told me that if I did X I'd get an A. I did X and she gave me a B. I felt like a failure (my first B) and knew that I'd been betrayed.  After many tears and Mama's conversation with my teacher, we discovered that she thought (knew) I could do more.  She was correct.  I could have done more.  However, I did what I thought it took to succeed (make an A). 

Since 4th grade, I've always known that doing our best is all that ultimately matters.

Though my situation worked out fine (I graduated second in my class), it could have played out differently. 

We need to be clear in our expectations and the resulting rewards.  And we owe it to all involved to discuss what actions/changes might improve results. 

When 2 Day Delivery Means 5 Days

This week I ordered a Christmas present that I was excited to give several friends.  My order was placed on Wednesday and I opted for 2 day delivery. It was going to be perfect to receive the order on Friday for presentation on Saturday. I got a call mid-morning on Thursday to confirm my order and was informed that because I'd placed the order after noon on Wednesday, my 2 day order would arrive on Monday.  This was 3 days later than expected and 2 days too late.  Had I been willing to wait 5 days for my delivery, I could have saved premium shipping charges. I had to cancel the order and start the gift search again.

Two days to the company meant, "if ordered on Monday, Tuesday or before noon on Wednesday". To me, two days meant "receipt 2 days after ordered". Clear communication of terminology and expectations is always required for deadlines.

Expectations

We all have expectations for every project or goal.  Whether we are optimists, realists or pessimists, we all have a view of how our expectations will be met, exceeded or missed.  High expectations, backed with appropriate skills and resources tend to create excellent results.  As we lower our expectations, we tend to get less stellar results.  When we continually accept excuses for missed performance expectations we are on a path for failure.

Responsiveness

We all have different expectations of responsiveness. With the proliferation of technology, we've become prone to estimating and timing the other party's response as soon as we send our message.

My dear, deceased father-in-law often relayed a far different timetable for response. When he began practicing law, deadlines were driven by train schedules. A document sent via train to New York wouldn't be received for days. This volley built in time for deliberation between responses.

The advent of fax communications provided a quick way to exchange information. But because it was transmission of a static document, time was still built in to manually edit documents before the next transmission.

With the broad use of email transmission of word-processed documents and the wide acceptance of email questions and answers, we've gained immediacy of communications, but sometimes at the expense of time for fruitful consideration of alternatives. Because the clock is ticking, we often respond with our first reasonable answer.

We can probably all benefit from the conscious communication of realistic time-frames for response to our important inquiries, orders and requests.