Help! My Networking is Not Working!

Here are highlights from my presentation for our Sterling Bank Women’s Business Initiative luncheon in San Antonio this week:

When we find that our networking is not working it’s almost always because we’re not working for our network!  When we work for our network, our network will be effective. We need to create long-term mutually supportive relationships.

We must give before we can expect to get.

We learned the fundamentals of networking in kindergarten:

“Make new friends and keep the old

Some are silver and others are gold.”

Effective networking is a game where everyone wins.  Though our gamesmanship improves from kindergarten through our lives, we learn from each game we play.

Four childhood and one adult game provide networking dos and don’ts:

1. Tag – It’s quick and brief with no meaningful interaction, but at least we’re in the game. Engagement is necessary.
2. Barrel of monkeys – Networking is fun! The links can become sizable, but they are quite fragile.  Bigger is just bigger, not necessarily stronger.
3. Twister - Interconnecting with others reminds us that networking is not an event, but the sum of all of our relationship building activities.
4. Lego – Building a solid foundation allows us to create a mutually supportive network. When we integrate all of the relationships in our lives we netconnect.
5. 21 - My Way (see my 12/2 blog) – Changed rules create unlimited winners.

The common theme of these games is that we increase the number of winners when we don’t keep score.  Before moving from kindergarten analogies, it’s helpful to remember that networking is a long-term process.  It’s like the 5-year old who asks in January how long it is until Christmas. She and we are encouraged to keep believing and be good.

And if we spell NETWORKING as a kindergartner might, we get NETWERKING.  Dissecting this word reveals a fun way to remember the mutuality of networking:

Net We R King (done right, we all win).

There are many ways to maintain, strengthen and grow our relationships including:

• Events
• Face-to-face one on one or small group meetings
• Phone
• Email
• Notes - Send thank you notes, recognition of accomplishments, congratulatory, sympathy
• Recommend books
• Offer time-savers – sending yourself an email with notes from a presentation eliminates the need to transcribe
• Teach someone else what you know
• Recurring appointments in outlook
• Compliment someone in front of others
• Speak
• Write
• Nominate
• Volunteer – active involvement – board development committee
• Recommend
• Ask for advice
• LinkedIn – easy way to follow-up with those you met during the day – Personalize your messages rather than using the standard ones provided.
• Blog
• Share great finds – sales, sites, courses, resources, restaurants, service providers
• When introducing others capture something meaningful about each party

Here’s my big girl expanded version of the friendship poem:

“Make new friends and keep the old

Some are silver and others are gold

Add new people to the fold

But don’t let relationships grow cold

Share the stories to be told

Let your listening be bold

Share advice when you’re polled

But be wary not to scold

We like to buy – not be sold

So put your sales pitch on hold.

Break the networking mold

Netconnect with young and old”