How Are You?

How are you? This simple question can evoke so many emotions.  Our answer may be impacted by the time, circumstance, relationship to the questioner, attitude, experience, location, etc.

I've chosen to consciously respond to those with whom I don't have an established relationship with any positive response other than "fine". 

Opportunities to positively connect expand exponentially when we ask any other positively engaging question other than "how are you?"

Presence to Presents

Today was another reminder of how incredibly connected we all are.  My early morning meeting led to a conversation later in the day about personal, corporate and nonprofit connectedness.  This connectedness may lead to additional corporate recognition and thus supplemental charitable giving to a terrific nonprofit.

A chance meeting of a relocated nonprofit professional at my next meeting led to a possible job match with an inquiring nonprofit executive during a returned telephone call later in the day.

Our presence always has the chance to lead to presents.

Connect or Alienate

We all have an innate need to connect.  Though conversation is the least common denominator, it is also the most important.  Engaging conversation captivates our hearts and minds.  Dismissive conversation antagonizes or alienates us.

Ask the Next Question

Popular belief is that there's only 6 degrees of separation among us.  I've often said that in Houston, it's only three.  Yesterday, I was once again reminded of my many "everything's connected" Arkansas scenarios (my home state).  A dear friend invited me to fill a last minute vacancy at a nonprofit annual luncheon.  She knew it was a long shot, but asked anyway (I'm most appreciative!).  I was available and excited to accept. 

Before arriving I only knew one of the table hosts at table #20.   When I'm a guest at a table with open seating and when I'm the host, I opt for a seat with my back to the speaker, so that others have the best view.  I only knew my right seatmate.  My two immediate left seatmates were also delightful.  In conversation we discovered that their daughter is a senior at University of Arkansas (my undergraduate institution) and a Chi Omega (I didn't tell them that I was a former president).

My take-away is to always ask the next question.  Had we stopped the conversation at what we do and how we are affiliated with the organization, we would have missed the special opportunity to create a meaningful connection.

When we ask the next question, we often invoke the magic of the 3-6 degrees of separation.

Everything's Often Connected in Ways We Never Imagine

I'm continually amazed at how small our enormous world is.  Recently, I've discovered additional connections that weren't previously apparent, including two sets of cousins are who are my friends and colleagues (all four individuals don't know each other). Four very different last names masked any connections.  Chance conversations revealed these special relationships.   Each of these individuals is very accomplished at their very different responsibilities. 

This was another vivid reminder that we never know how broad, deep and varied connections are.  Thus, we never know how quickly our positive and negative communications will reach those we know, but never expected to be party to the information.

This is yet another reminder to broadly share praise for others and closely contain negative feedback to a need to know basis.

Double Your Effectiveness at a Networking Event

Networking events provide the chance to meet new people. This won't happen if you spend the event visiting only with those you know.  If you arrive with a friend, separate.  If one of you goes left and the other goes right, you will be able to meet in the middle and connect those you've met.  After the event, take time to compare notes about who you met.

At your next chamber or association meeting consider asking the organizer if you can contact other table hosts and mix your tables for new connections.

Email Can Wait

Generally when I'm away from the office, I consistently and frequently monitor and respond to email.  When I was away for a couple of extra days during the Independence Day holiday, I intentionally disengaged from my cherished Blackberry.  Yes, I checked it, a couple of times per day.  But, it was not my constant companion.  I got to unwind. (Disclaimer: The days surrounding 4th of July are probably the best days to try this experiment.  The number of emails I received was 10% of my normal volume.)

Though I never answer a phone call or respond to an email when I'm in a meeting (inconsiderate and rude), it never occurred to me that answering emails when I'm on vacation is the equivalent (inconsiderate and rude) behavior to my family.  Vacations are times that we have allocated to focus on people and things we love.  In essence, they are extended meetings of a personal nature. 

Regardless of how electronically connected we become, we must occasionally electronically disconnect in order to fully personally connect.

We Must Get Together

We all need things to positively anticipate, particularly when life is full, hectic and unpredictable.  Making ongoing time together with family and friends is one of the best ways to maintain constancy, focus and relieve stress. Life can feel like a treadmill when we allow the "musts" and "shoulds" to dominate our schedules.  Positive, uplifting "musts" and "shoulds" to add to our schedules include time with those we love, those who love us, those who make us laugh, those who acknowledge our best, those who will objectively and compassionately tell us when we aren't the fairest of all, those we can teach and those who can teach us.

There are several special groups of friends and individuals with whom I've more positively connected during the past several years by scheduling our next outing as we conclude the one we are enjoying.  Since I spent far too many years with nebulous (and unrealized) plans to connect with friends I cherish, I've decided to be more strategic about my opportunities.  Life is far better with more friends consistently involved.

Odometer Oddities

Mama and I have very different driving patterns. She lives in a small Arkansas town and I’m in Houston, the nation’s 4th largest city. We both purchased new vehicles in different years. I average 8,000 miles per year and she drives even fewer annual miles. As we were driving to visit my nephew’s new home, Edgar mentioned Mama’s odometer reading. Though I rarely pay attention to mine, I’d just had my car serviced the day before we headed to Arkansas, and said, “That’s about the mileage I have, too”. On the way to work this morning, I remembered to check my odometer and asked Mama for her current mileage. Our odometer readings differ by only 38 miles.  Unbelievable!

As is indicated by my blog title, I believe that everything's connected, but never factored odometer readings into the equation.  If this is any indication that I'm becoming my mother, contrary to the usual humor associated with the comment, I'm an extremely lucky individual. 

Today's odometer oddities remind me that our connectedness takes many forms.  When we look for similarities we find them.  And we find differences when we expect them.   I choose to think that Mama's and my 38 mile difference is another indication that we are inextricably, positively connected.