Levels of Knowing

It struck me this week, as I had a totally different conversation with someone I've known for many years, that different settings provide different levels of knowing others.  My best relationships, and I suspect most others' are as well, multi-faceted.  Sometimes we short-change ourselves by pigeonholing relationships into a defined arena.  When we share additional interests, the relationship can positively morph from a certain category of friendship to a broader, more satisfying one.

This was another reminder that time can be a less significant measure of impact than shared interests.

Picking Up Where We Last Parted

With great friends we can seamlessly pick right up where we left off, regardless of the amount of time that has passed since we were last together.  The comfort of so much affection and so many shared experiences creates a strong foundation that time and distance can't disrupt.  Seizing such opportunities nourishes our spirit.

Friends Live On

Yesterday, a dear friend lost her battle with cancer.  I had the privilege to sit by her bedside and tell her how amazing she was hours before she died.  Today the hole in my heart is being filled with precious memories of countless examples of her character, faith, love, loyalty, friendship, motherhood, leadership, integrity and strength.

We are rarely able to  truly convey how deeply we are  touched by those we consider dear friends.  We realize with death that physical absence cannot steal precious memories.  Thankfully, those we love live forever in our hearts and memories.

Gifts of Christmas

Two dear friends and I walked and talked early this morning.  One friend recently lost her husband to cancer and she is now recovering from an accident that has impaired her mobility.  She confided that she wasn't in the Christmas spirit.  As much for myself, as for her, I shared that she had the true gift of Christmas in her faith, love and positive outlook.  Most importantly, she has the true gifts of Christmas, despite the reality that she is not enthusiastic about the external trappings of the Christmas season. And sharing those would be gift enough for those who matter!

Circles of Connectedness

The circles of connectedness continue to surprise and amaze. Gar was reconnected with a dear childhood friend he'd lost track of, through a new friend's girlfriend. Three or four schools separated these old buddies' path to a reunion, and they discovered through a photo that they'd joined the same fraternity at their chosen schools.

It seems that we're never more than a friend or two away from welcome connections. 

Stranger in our House

Okay, we don't really have a stranger in the house, because she quickly became a friend!  A friend and neighbor asked if their niece could stay with us for her spring break job shadowing trip.  We were delighted to accommodate this young woman we'd never met because she was part of a friend's family.  Of course if this same individual had approached us on her own, without the connection, we would have declined.  She's a delightful young woman and we're pleased that she's become a new friend.

I love this beautiful illustration of asking for what you want and need from those with whom you have a great relationship.  When we're open to possibilities, strangers become friends and relationships are strengthened by shared experiences.

Games We Play

As parents we can become so engaged in the games our children play that we can lose sight of the games we play.  Adult games are great when we enjoy them, build skills, compete, create camaraderie, relieve stress, entertain ourselves and others, engage in new relationships and/or strengthen friendships.

Cherished Friends

The gifts of friendship, laughter and saying whatever comes to mind are among the many things I cherish this Christmas! My family seemed astonished, when I said, "Yes, I've been at lunch all afternoon!" They had no way of knowing that it seemed like only 30 minutes. Through good times, tragedies and everything in between, it's lovely to know that I have friends who will laugh, cry, applaud, advise, listen and counsel. And above all: they will understand that we are all doing the absolute best that we can with each situation that evolves.

I'm My Own Best Friend

Several recent issues with friends and the popular line from a song, "I'm my own grandpa", brought front and center the necessity of loving and respecting ourselves.  We all need loving, supportive and nudging advocates.  However, our best way of maintaining positive equilibrium, is to be the best friend to ourselves that we strive to be for others.  We need to be loving, supportive and instructive, just as we'd be with our other dear friends.

Which Hat?

I'm not a literal hat person.  I only wear literal hats when required for costumes or sun/wind protection in boats, convertibles or outdoor adventures. However, I wear many figurative hats - individual, spouse, mother, daughter, sister, grandchild, niece, cousin, aunt, friend, boss, executive, employee, mentor, volunteer, mentor, board member, neighbor, familiar stranger...

Regardless of the hat that I am wearing, I aspire to provide what is needed and expected of those to whom I'm connected.  However, we must ultimately and importantly connect with those who wear one of our important hats.

I tip my figurative hat to each of you who have enriched my life!

We Must Get Together

We all need things to positively anticipate, particularly when life is full, hectic and unpredictable.  Making ongoing time together with family and friends is one of the best ways to maintain constancy, focus and relieve stress. Life can feel like a treadmill when we allow the "musts" and "shoulds" to dominate our schedules.  Positive, uplifting "musts" and "shoulds" to add to our schedules include time with those we love, those who love us, those who make us laugh, those who acknowledge our best, those who will objectively and compassionately tell us when we aren't the fairest of all, those we can teach and those who can teach us.

There are several special groups of friends and individuals with whom I've more positively connected during the past several years by scheduling our next outing as we conclude the one we are enjoying.  Since I spent far too many years with nebulous (and unrealized) plans to connect with friends I cherish, I've decided to be more strategic about my opportunities.  Life is far better with more friends consistently involved.

Weekend Adventures

Our precious lacrosse playing son has created exciting new options for our weekends.  Because our daughter is in college, our only other at home dependent to care for is our furry cat-child Tiger.  And because Tiger is easily accommodated, we cheerily hit the Texas freeways to cheer Gar and the Falcons to victory across the metro areas of Texas.

We would happily endure roadtrips across Texas to support Gar, without additional benefits.  Fortunately, we also have the chance to share meals, games and stories with other lovely parents.  In comparing everyone's other extra-curricular support activities, we realize that we won the lottery with this extraordinary group of parents and players.

In the Periphery

How many times are we one conversation away from making a connection or reconnecting with those we've lost track of?  Recently, at two different events, I connected with individuals who I've known peripherally for years.  The connections were possible because of a question I asked in the first setting and my seating proximity in the second setting.   When we are aware and open to making connections, friendships can be ignited or rekindled.

Beyond Appearance

Ever notice how a favorite t-shirt gets softer and softer the more often it's washed and worn? It's likely not attractive, but it's familiar, perhaps represents a sentimental event, has been through a lot of good and bad times, and is absolutely comfortable.  We tend to forget the appearance and instead value the other, more meaningful attributes.

Comfort foods tend to be childhood favorites or guilty pleasures.  Often they are very simple and inexpensive.  Oddly, I have yet to hear anyone list caviar, filet mignon or pate as a comfort food. More often, it's foods like pot roast, mashed potatoes, chicken and dumplings or Mama's meatloaf that evoke wonderful memories.

Sight is such a powerful sense that it often takes precedence in describing and reacting to people and things.  What we actually see is usually overridden once we engage with another.  Two friends powerfully reminded me recently that appearance is inconsequential.  Their appearances are altered but their attitudes, impacts and spirits have positive impacts far beyond first impressions.  These special friends have reminded me to always get to know the person.  Friends unmet, with appearances that may not be engaging, are readily waiting for us to ask a question which may lead to a treasured relationship.

Friendship

What makes the difference between a nice person who we enjoy seeing and one whom we consciously allocate time to see? Often it's a special connection that may have been discovered through years of proximity (classroom, neighborhood, volunteer organization or job). It may be a shared perspective that differs from the rest of the group. There may be a common bond (issue, ordeal, cause). She/he may be someone from whom we can learn or teach. She/he may possess an ability to assess our strengths and weaknesses as we wish we could. She/he may be able to make us laugh, remember, think or act.

To My Precious Friends,
I thank you whole-heartedly for supporting me in the infinite ways that you do!
Love,
Pam

Unique Value Proposition

My remarkably talented friend has excelled at everything she has attempted -school, career, leadership, parenting and inspiring others. I can always see her abilities - sometimes more clearly than she can. Because I've always seen her succeed, it wasn't obvious to me until recently that, this very capable woman assumed that everyone else could do the things she does. She didn't realize how special her combination of skills, talents, experiences, ability and motivation are. Regardless of how accomplished we are, having an objective friend articulate our unique value proposition can be priceless.

The Joy of Friendships Refreshed

One of the joys of growing up in a small town is developing friendships that last a lifetime. Visiting my parents in my hometown is always delightful. The visits are enhanced by the chance to refresh childhood friendships. Attending a lovely party this weekend, I was thrilled to reconnect with so many old friends. I see some of these wonderful folks each time I visit my parents. Others I haven't seen in many years. The joy of shared experiences comes flooding back as we share our current life happenings.

Not everyone can visit a childhood hometown. But we can all reconnect with friends who have helped shape our lives.

Email, Facebook and LinkedIn allow us to reconnect without regard to distance, location or time zone. The memories come alive as friends separated by time, circumstance and geography reunite.

Friendships enhance our lives. I'm thankful for friends near and far and the many ways to keep our friendships fresh.