A Flat Tire Doesn't Have to Suck the Air Out of Your Day

My day had gone so very well, and I was really looking forward to a small dinner party, in a lovely home, with interesting, accomplished women.  And when the air went suddenly out of my tire, on the way to the party, I chose not to let this suck the air out of an otherwise great day.  Yes, I was disappointed, frustrated and inconvenienced.  Yet, as I've been doing, I chose to put it in perspective and focus on the positives of a negative situation.

Positives:

• I stopped for gas seconds after I drove over whatever obstacle damaged my tire, and discovered the problem.  This was a low speed road hazard incident with no loss of vehicle control or wheel damage, and the car had not yet even exhibited flat tire symptoms.  Had I stopped for gas, as intended, earlier  in the day, the situation would have been far worse.
• It was daylight, in somewhat familiar territory, and my vehicle's roadside assistance was a phone call away.
• The dinner party wasn't at my home.

Lessons reinforced:

• Patience
• Flexibility
• Gratitude
• Some things can't be controlled
• There are so many lovely, skilled people willing to assist us when we acknowledge their talents.

When bad things happen we can choose to be victims or victorious.  Victorious feels a million times better!

Three Things I Can Control

It is my nature to try to make things as good as they can be.  This tendency has led to struggles as I've tried to control things beyond myself.  This year I am consciously focusing on three things over which I have absolute control - my attitude, actions and effort.

Regardless of what is happening around me and what others are doing, I have the option to disengage from  circumstantial drama or group think.  With positive focus, my attitude, actions and effort are within my total control.

I Can Only Control Me

There's a lot of change in my life including empty nesting, corporate acquisition, childhood friend's death, pet's death, 60-year+ tree removal and doubled commute time (major freeway construction eliminating access points).

We are always presented with things we can't control.  However, we can all control our attitudes about our circumstances, conditions and situations.

I'm thrilled that my situation is mine!  I'd hate to deal with anyone else's.

My positive attitude gives the option to help so many others deal with these (and many other) situations.

How do you control your attitudes and actions?

Controlling the Controllables

As I've previously mentioned, Sterling Bank is being acquired by Comerica.  The merger is terrific for shareholders and customers.  Employees are understandably reacting to this major change in a variety of ways.  Many of us quickly embraced the change and others are struggling with the uncertainty. Even when there isn't a change as significant as this one, things are constantly changing in our personal and professional lives.  And there are always varying degrees of comfort in dealing with change.  Exercising higher degrees of flexibility and risk tolerance can smooth the transitions that change brings.  When we look beyond the comfort of our known environment we can begin to focus on controlling the controllables.

Things we can control include:

• attitude
• emotions
• approach
• reaction
• sense of humor
• patience
• productivity

It's reassuring to remember that there are many elements of change that are totally within our control.

We Can Only Control Ourselves

I've been quite stressed trying to cram another year's worth of important projects into the 4th quarter.  As a recovering perfectionist, it's difficult to accept the reality that regardless of how hard we try, we cannot control the actions or inactions of others.  As an eternal optimist, I approach each new project with the hope that my colleagues will seize each new opportunity with the enthusiasm, potential and urgency that I recognize.  Some do and others don't.  I've finally realized that I cannot control my colleagues' actions.  I can only control my actions, communications and opportunities delivered.

Dealing with others is fascinating, messy, imprecise and ever-changing.  As I've embraced the understanding that my associates are doing the best that they can, I've reaffirmed that though I can set expectations, I can only control myself.

I'm Not in Charge

I'm accustomed to being in charge.  Julia planned a fabulous D.C. weekend chocked full of wonderful activities.  My only role was to show up and enjoy the fun of being with Julia.  I was not in charge and I loved it! 

Our ordinary way of being is not our only way of being.  Flexibly adopting appropriate varying roles is a good thing.

Ultimate Control

We can choose to be victims or take control of many elements of our destiny.  I'd written in an earlier post that I can control my thoughts, actions, attitude and reactions.  I've expanded my list to include appearance, approachability, demeanor, energy level, gratitude, outlook, behavior and outreach.  Everyone likes options.  When things aren't progressing as we'd like, we can get bogged down in focusing on the things that we can't control.  Remembering that there are a dozen things that we can control can change the dynamics of the situation.

What Can I Control?

My thoughts, attitudes, actions and reactions are the only things that I can control.