A Flat Tire Doesn't Have to Suck the Air Out of Your Day

My day had gone so very well, and I was really looking forward to a small dinner party, in a lovely home, with interesting, accomplished women.  And when the air went suddenly out of my tire, on the way to the party, I chose not to let this suck the air out of an otherwise great day.  Yes, I was disappointed, frustrated and inconvenienced.  Yet, as I've been doing, I chose to put it in perspective and focus on the positives of a negative situation.

Positives:

• I stopped for gas seconds after I drove over whatever obstacle damaged my tire, and discovered the problem.  This was a low speed road hazard incident with no loss of vehicle control or wheel damage, and the car had not yet even exhibited flat tire symptoms.  Had I stopped for gas, as intended, earlier  in the day, the situation would have been far worse.
• It was daylight, in somewhat familiar territory, and my vehicle's roadside assistance was a phone call away.
• The dinner party wasn't at my home.

Lessons reinforced:

• Patience
• Flexibility
• Gratitude
• Some things can't be controlled
• There are so many lovely, skilled people willing to assist us when we acknowledge their talents.

When bad things happen we can choose to be victims or victorious.  Victorious feels a million times better!

Turning a Negative Into a Positive

Frustrations are part of life.  How we deal with them impacts our success and happiness.  A dear friend encountered a major wreck on her way home from work this week. She knew that she could spend an uncertain, but significant amount of time stuck in traffic, so she changed the scenario.  She exited at one of her favorite retail haunts, enjoyed visiting with similarly destined and friendly strangers; had the chance to offer fashion advice to her new situational friends, and snagged a cool handbag.

Rather than moaning the next day about her traffic woes, she cheerfully sported her new find.

Life happens best when we choose to turn negatives into positives.

This Is Exactly What I Want to Be Doing!

Whether we say anything or not, others realize how enthusiastic we are about the activity that we're:

• enjoying
• pretending to enjoy
• waiting for it to end

One of the biggest gifts we can give ourselves and others is fully embracing whatever experience we are tackling, and fully engaging with those with whom we are experiencing the activity.

Early this morning, I realized that running was exactly what I wanted to be doing at that time.  This realization encouraged me to consciously evaluate other meaningful experiences (useful, interesting or expected).  

The more frequently we plan our future activities to include only things that we will eagerly anticipate, or truly must do, the more often we will find ourselves doing exactly what we want to be doing.

Three Things I Can Control

It is my nature to try to make things as good as they can be.  This tendency has led to struggles as I've tried to control things beyond myself.  This year I am consciously focusing on three things over which I have absolute control - my attitude, actions and effort.

Regardless of what is happening around me and what others are doing, I have the option to disengage from  circumstantial drama or group think.  With positive focus, my attitude, actions and effort are within my total control.

Finding the Benefit in a Negative Change

I've recently had to make a temporary and gargantuan technological change.  I live by my online calendar, email and contacts.  My office and home systems have been the same for too many years to mention. I was recently converted to an office system that is no longer commonly used.

Though I prefer the platform that we will ultimately migrate (back) to, I've decided to try to make lemonade from this current batch of lemons.

Some positive thoughts I've embraced include:

• learning something new keeps us on our toes
• we often ask our associates to embrace change that is as foreign to them as this technology regression is to us
• readily sharing tips and tools accelerates everyone's learning curve and can improve relationships
• we don't always appreciate what we have until we lose it
• I'm resilient
• there are always multiple ways to accomplish tasks
• learning occurs at every age and stage

How Full is Your Glass?

Is your glass half full to overflowing as mine is? Or is it half empty to cracked and leaking like some folks I know. Though we all tend to be optimists or pessimists both groups often assert that they are realists. Regardless of our typical label, we have the chance each day to choose the way we'll view situations.

Dread is One Letter Away from Dead

I'd never thought about the absolute negative power of "dread".  Because it's only one letter away from "dead", it made me realize again that we sometimes create our own "tomb" by thinking negatively.  When we actively engage in dreading a foregone outcome, we rob ourselves of the chance to cherish the positive moments we actually have.  And so many potentially negative outcomes never materialize.  By holding "dear" the people, moments, memories and dreams that matter, we banish things we "dread" and cherish all we hold "dear".

It's No Longer Looking Like Christmas

Though it's no longer looking like Christmas, I've tackled the un-decorating process this year with the same focus I embraced when decorating just after Thanksgiving.
We intentionally leave our Christmas decorations up through the 12th day of Christmas.  This also tends to sync with the date when Julia returns for the spring semester.  It's generally much more fun when we're making it look like Christmas than when we're taking down and storing decorations.  Decorating is another example of the benefit of anticipation.  Decorating marks the beginning of a season of celebration, fun and festivities. 

The house initially looks so bare for the first days after everything is restored to pre-Christmas order. This is especially the case when the Christmas tree is returned to the garage and the garlands are removed from the mantles but the furniture and accessories are not yet back in place.  I've changed my attitude this year to mark the un-decorating process as the preparation for a full, exciting year ahead.  It's taking longer than usual as I incorporate extra cleaning into the process.  I've adopted my Mom's lovely attitude of gratitude as I carefully wash each piece of decorative crystal.  When we take time to individually care for each item, we have the chance to really appreciate its beauty.  And I've discovered that washing the large living room windows is much easier before the furniture is back in place. 

Another plus is the beneficial exercise I've gotten with so very many trips to the third floor and up and down the ladder. 

Though the only thing that's changed is my attitude, un-decorating just isn't as gloomy this year. 

What's in Your Glass?

My attitude is generally very positive because my glass is overflowing with gratitude. I recently did a gratitude exercise with a negative friend whose glass has barely anything in it.  We set a timer for the exercise, and reset it each time something negative was said.  After a few timer resets, my friend struggled to list a few important reasons to be grateful.  My assistance was then requested to propose items to add to the list.  Though many obvious areas of gratitude were rejected, several additional important ones were added.

Our thinking, positive and negative, directs our actions, attitudes, interactions and impacts.  A gratitude list provides a tangible way to focus on possibilities rather than problems. 

Tired of Changing Plans?

Sometimes we intentionally change our plans, other times circumstances cause the change.  I had Monday afternoon through Wednesday afternoon carefully planned to accommodate a board meeting, birthday celebration, dental appointment, 2nd board meeting, travel to Austin, Austin event, travel to Houston and Houston event.

I walked to my car with just enough time to make it to the first of these 8 commitments. That quickly changed as I noticed that my right rear tire was flat. With this unexpected change of plans I emailed the CEO and Board Chair just before calling roadside assistance.  Ben arrived within 30 minutes and mounted the spare in a flash.  Minutes later, we heard a loud, startling bang.  The valve on my spare blew.  He determined that there was a very slow leak in my right rear tire and inflated it to the maximum allowed then remounted it to allow me to safely reach the tire store.  My first board meeting was replaced by three trips to two different tire stores over a punctuated 13-hour period, allowing me to honor all seven additional commitments.

No one other than a tire store or manufacturer likes tire problems.  However, I was most thankful for the timing of my problem.  In any other scenario during this tightly scheduled agenda, my tire problem would have presented itself on a freeway rather than in my parking garage. 

Regardless of how carefully we plan, the way we embrace the unexpected colors our view of the world and others' views of us.  Ranting and raving doesn't get us back on track.  Flexibly executing an alternate plan does.

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Celebrate!

I think there are millions of reasons to celebrate including - Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, morning, afternoon, evening, an A, a passing grade, knowledge gained, graduations, project completed, new insight, progress made, a positive diagnosis, new job, internship, promotion, preserving a job amidst layoffs, making someone's day, having someone make your day, making it through the day, a friend's arrival, relationships, weddings, births, new hires, retirements, a loving family, awards, recognition, positive press, giving a helping hand, receiving a helping hand, being valued, being loved, being cherished.