Balancing Work, Life and Stress

Sometimes we just need to schedule time to talk about how we can create our most effective blended work, family, community and individual lives. Today, three of my colleagues and I spent time pondering how best to balance work, life and stress, in anticipation of an event on Friday.

Some tips include:

• Focus on gratitude
• Protect time for self-care
• Set boundaries between work, family and other activities
• Create transition time during the commute to move from work/home to self to home/work
• Establish entry/exit routines to move from work/home and home/work
• Don't wait for big times - a glass of wine with your spouse after work is special
• Take time for daily devotional, exercise or other super start to the day
• Communicate clearly and compassionately 
• Agree to roles and responsibilities

A Flat Tire Doesn't Have to Suck the Air Out of Your Day

My day had gone so very well, and I was really looking forward to a small dinner party, in a lovely home, with interesting, accomplished women.  And when the air went suddenly out of my tire, on the way to the party, I chose not to let this suck the air out of an otherwise great day.  Yes, I was disappointed, frustrated and inconvenienced.  Yet, as I've been doing, I chose to put it in perspective and focus on the positives of a negative situation.

Positives:

• I stopped for gas seconds after I drove over whatever obstacle damaged my tire, and discovered the problem.  This was a low speed road hazard incident with no loss of vehicle control or wheel damage, and the car had not yet even exhibited flat tire symptoms.  Had I stopped for gas, as intended, earlier  in the day, the situation would have been far worse.
• It was daylight, in somewhat familiar territory, and my vehicle's roadside assistance was a phone call away.
• The dinner party wasn't at my home.

Lessons reinforced:

• Patience
• Flexibility
• Gratitude
• Some things can't be controlled
• There are so many lovely, skilled people willing to assist us when we acknowledge their talents.

When bad things happen we can choose to be victims or victorious.  Victorious feels a million times better!

Gratitude and Grief

Losing a loved one is incredibly difficult.  The journey is made better by the countless acts of love, kindness and caring of family and friends.  Opening our hearts and minds to receive comfort allows us to focus on the many things we have for which to be grateful, rather than dwelling exclusively on what we've lost.

Gratitude = Happiness

Though many variables are part of the equation: gratitude = happiness, when we factor them all out, it becomes factual.  When we focus on the long list of things for which we are grateful rather than the shorter list of things that cause us angst, happiness wins.

'Tis the Season!

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‘Tis

The season to

be grateful, generous,

and connected to those

who make our lives special.

Wishing you a very Merry

Christmas and joyous New Year!

Celebrate, reflect, love, laugh, express

thanks, surprise, visit, entertain, be entertained,

create, remember, plan, rest, energize and enjoy

!!!!!

Seizing Moments

Kristin Kaufman's book Is This Seat Taken? beautifully illustrates the life gifts we are given when we seize every opportunity to fully engage and learn from those who cross our daily paths.  Her stories of encounters with cab drivers, young children, manicurists, waiters, grocery baggers and executives are full of lessons and enriched with her thought-provoking questions at the end of each unique chapter.

Kristin shares a valuable perspective on success, "Success is aligning who we really are inside our souls with what we do and how we contribute in the world."

The book is peppered with with examples of everyday people who are making the world better for those in their circle by making the most of what they've been given. 

Kristin's insights reinforce the powers of optimism, empathy, observation, gratitude, resiliency, courage, trust and the joys of embracing love and life's simple pleasures.

It's the tude!

Our positive attitude, aptitude, gratitude, latitude, fortitude and servitude make an enormous difference in the way in which we are perceived.

What's your tude?

Great Day!

Today was many degrees warmer than the rest of the week (yeah - cold isn't in my vocabulary) and I decided to alter my normal walking route to walk to the polls for the Houston City Council run-off elections.  So glad that I did!  If I hadn't voted then, as I feared, I would have missed this important civic opportunity.  And, this adjustment to my walking route afforded me the opportunity to enjoy two visits with friends I'd not recently seen. 

There was just enough time to finish my coffee table Christmas decorations before my much anticipated Saturday call with my precious Mama.

A fabulous birthday/Christmas celebration with dear 30+ year friends provided much love and laughter and many more cherished memories and physical gifts.

Then, my best friend and I had the opportunity to enjoy a long fireside chat in the shadow of our Christmas tree.

She left moments before Gar and his pledge brother completed their 10 hour road trip, arriving at our doorstep.

Christmas began today!

Lynne Twist, President of the Soul of Money Institute, was the featured speaker at The Women's Resource of Greater Houston's 20th Annual Luncheon on Thursday.  She shared several interesting perspectives:

• Labeling diminishes people - She said poor is an inaccurate label for those without financial means, because they must be innovative, creative and courageous.  There are no "haves" and "have nots", people simply possess different resources - inner riches or outer riches.
• "Affluenza" is a vicious cycle of wealth without meaning.
• What we appreciate appreciates.
• If we let go of trying to get more of what we don't need, it frees oceans of energy to pay attention to what we already have.
• Gratitude has two aspects - gratefulness and thanksgiving.  When we embrace gratitude we experience the great fullness of life.

It's No Longer Looking Like Christmas

Though it's no longer looking like Christmas, I've tackled the un-decorating process this year with the same focus I embraced when decorating just after Thanksgiving.
We intentionally leave our Christmas decorations up through the 12th day of Christmas.  This also tends to sync with the date when Julia returns for the spring semester.  It's generally much more fun when we're making it look like Christmas than when we're taking down and storing decorations.  Decorating is another example of the benefit of anticipation.  Decorating marks the beginning of a season of celebration, fun and festivities. 

The house initially looks so bare for the first days after everything is restored to pre-Christmas order. This is especially the case when the Christmas tree is returned to the garage and the garlands are removed from the mantles but the furniture and accessories are not yet back in place.  I've changed my attitude this year to mark the un-decorating process as the preparation for a full, exciting year ahead.  It's taking longer than usual as I incorporate extra cleaning into the process.  I've adopted my Mom's lovely attitude of gratitude as I carefully wash each piece of decorative crystal.  When we take time to individually care for each item, we have the chance to really appreciate its beauty.  And I've discovered that washing the large living room windows is much easier before the furniture is back in place. 

Another plus is the beneficial exercise I've gotten with so very many trips to the third floor and up and down the ladder. 

Though the only thing that's changed is my attitude, un-decorating just isn't as gloomy this year. 

Grateful!

With all the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, I am ever so grateful that family, friends and neighbors choose to let us know that we are important.

It Could Happen to Anyone

Edgar has joined the Way Station ministry at our church, Palmer Memorial Episcopal, serving a hot breakfast to hundreds of hungry Houstonians each Friday.  He always comes home so moved by the experience.  Friday was more emotional than ever, as he greeted a well-educated colleague in the line.  The impact of job loss became far more than a statistic when this former classmate shared his story. 

It makes me realize just how very fortunate I am to have a great job that I love. 

Thanksgiving Has Begun

I love Thanksgiving! I have so much to be thankful for including family, friends, faith, health, career and volunteering.  Though I express gratitude for my blessings every day, it is wonderful to have a holiday focused on thankfulness.

We've been eagerly anticipating a long weekend filled with love and laughter. Mama and Daddy have arrived and Julia comes in this evening.  The fun has already begun.

Why Aren't You Smiling?

I've had the opportunity to stand in many airport security lines and have become puzzled by the fact that very few people are smiling.  Most travelers are visiting loved ones, taking care of business or returning home after a trip.  Anticipation of a great visit, successful business meeting and homecoming are all reasons to smile.  Gratitude for love in my life and an exciting job brings a smile to my face.

What's in Your Glass?

My attitude is generally very positive because my glass is overflowing with gratitude. I recently did a gratitude exercise with a negative friend whose glass has barely anything in it.  We set a timer for the exercise, and reset it each time something negative was said.  After a few timer resets, my friend struggled to list a few important reasons to be grateful.  My assistance was then requested to propose items to add to the list.  Though many obvious areas of gratitude were rejected, several additional important ones were added.

Our thinking, positive and negative, directs our actions, attitudes, interactions and impacts.  A gratitude list provides a tangible way to focus on possibilities rather than problems. 

Stress Buster

It is easy to focus on what is missing from our lives. Stress is often the result of too much to do with too little time or too few resources.   When I recognize how thankful I am for abundant opportunities my attitude of gratitude is an instant stress buster.

Generosity!

It's always heartwarming to see individual's and organizations' charitable gifts and acts that make our community and world richer and better.  We all have many, many examples of acts and impacts, but I want to share a special call to action that motivated our son's lacrosse team to make a big difference.

Teachers and coaches do what they do because they care about kids.  There are multiple opportunities to express gratitude, which I hope happens frequently.

Our varsity lacrosse coach loves what he does and cares about each player.  He's even gotten fouls for demanding that the referees ensure the safety of all players.

He and his wife (who is also a beloved girl's lacrosse coach) gave birth during this season to a precious baby boy.  Despite this forever life-changing event, they continued their commitments to their players. 

Our boys' lacrosse parents chose to make a most special tribute to our cherished, hard-working coach.  We had 100% participation from parents in purchasing savings bonds to establish an education fund for their newborn and any other children they are fortunate enough to parent.

We all have the chance every day to express gratitude in meaningful ways.  What special examples will you share?

100 Blogs! One Step at a Time

It is important to have a goal in mind (almost every time) when you tackle a new project. For me, becoming a blogger, did not exactly fit this model. Two people, my best friend and our Sterling Bank New Media Editor kept telling me that I should blog. One weekend in May, I responded to their challenge and encouragement. Had I been told then that I had to create 100 blogs by the end of September, I would never have started.

I had no idea that I had 100 things to say and share.

This experience has reinforced for me the importance of taking one significant step at a time. And, the impact of listening to those who care about us and who value our perspective.

I am most appreciative of those of you who have read my blogs, provided comments and forwarded my entries to your friends and colleagues.

Thank you!

What are You Thankful For?

I am thankful for:
Attitude, Ambition, Able-bodiedness
Brothers, Beauty, Books
Cats, Creativity
Daddy
Edgar, Education, Empathy, Experience
Faith, Family, Friends, Freedom, Flexibility, Feeling
Gar, Gratitude
Health, Heart, Humor, Home, Hearing
Independence, Ideas
Julia, Joy
Kindness, Kaleidoscopes, Kiva
Love, Learning
Mama, Memories
Nest, Network
Opportunity, Options, Optimism
Prayer, Passion
Quiet
Resources
Sight, Smell
Time, Talent, Treasure, Touch
U.S.A.
Victories
Writing
eXellence, eXperience
Yesterday
Zeal, Zip

And so much more! An attitude of gratitude serves us well!

What's Your Wake-Up Call?

If you are among the lucky ones, the only wake-up call you recognize is your morning alarm clock.

For so many others, their wake-up call is much more jarring:

Today will be your last day at XYZ Company
Your medical test results weren't what we had hoped they would be
You did not pass the exam
If you don't meet objectives within the next 90 days, your employment will be terminated
You were clocked at 20 miles over the speed limit
You are pregnant
You are miscarrying the baby
There has been an accident
Though you were very qualified, we extended the job offer to another candidate
We tried everything but weren't able to save your loved one
Your bid was ranked second
Your colleague received the promotion you were expecting
You have gained 20 pounds since your last annual exam
Your charge was denied

We all get unpleasant news during our lives. How we react makes a tremendous difference in the course of our lives and those of our loved ones. The news can be a catalyst for change, renewed commitment and increased empathy for others. Or it can be the beginning of a downward spiral.

Let's be thankful for each day that our only wake-up call is delivered by an alarm clock.