Lovable

God and good mothers love us as we are.  Pets love us as if we were God.  May we all remember that regardless of how harsh we can be to ourselves, we are lovable just the way we.

Be Kind to Yourself

Many of us are quite accomplished at showing great kindness and compassion to others.  We're not always as apt to respond to our own needs.  The Bible, in Mark 12:31, tells us "Love your neighbor as yourself." The challenge is two-fold:  we must be lovable and loving.

2:1

We just returned from a delightful road trip to Austin.  We made this 5 hour round trip trek on great highways, through beautiful country to spend 2.5 hours with Gar.  Ratios are great for measuring business success, but can't begin to capture the benefit of time spent with those we love.

This experience reminded me that impact and importance trump statistics in our personal relationships.

Holding On By Letting Go

After our Ole Miss orientation experience, I'm convinced that Gar has found the right school.  The students and staff are incredibly helpful and friendly; the professors and advisors are dedicated to student success; the Goldilocks student population is not-too-large, not-too-small, but just-right; the campus is beautiful and immaculately landscaped; and resources abound to make out-of-staters feel part of the the community.

It is normal and expected that Gar has been spreading his wings during his senior year.  It was wonderful to hear published advisors validate that our increasing parental flexibility is healthy and recommended. 

In one of the inevitable lines for the women's restroom, I realized that we are far better poised for a successful freshman year than others.  A mother who lives 30 minutes from campus engaged a mother who was a few hours away and me, who is 610 miles away, in conversation.   The closest mother had already planned to meet weekly to exchange clean laundry and home-cooked meals. 

Though I'd love nothing more than to have my precious angels, Gar and Julia, in my home, city and/or state, I realize that having options contributes enormously to personal well-being. 

When we are able to let go and allow our loved ones to do what is important to them, we strengthen our bonds by demonstrating our confidence in their judgment and abilities. 

The pre-K roles are once again highlighted: we know that love is without limit, but we've got to separate to experience all the excitement that exists outside our home turf.

My Best Furry Friend

Tiger joined our family on Julia's 7th birthday.  My timing logic was that at age 7, Julia would be somewhat responsible for a pet's nurturing, care and feeding.  And, at age 3, Gar wouldn't be too intimidated by a pet, nor a pet too terrorized by a toddler.  Before her feet reached the floor on her 7th birthday, Julia asked when we could get her cat.  Our trip to Special Pals was filled with anticipation, and as is often the case with adoptions, Tiger reached out from his cage to let us know that he'd chosen us.

In Tiger's nearly 16 years as part of our family, he brought much joy, love and laughter.  He earned me the cherished designation as Mommy Cat, because wherever I lit, he was not far behind.  His purr motor was a marvelous indication of continuous love. 

Tiger taught us:

• go for what you want (we could have chosen another cat)
• love your family no matter what happens
• stopping to pet the cat is even better than stopping to smell the roses
• furry friends are non-judgmental
• we all need friends to look after our interests
• patience
• loyalty
• tolerance
• love is forever

Tiger went to the happy petting, eating and sleeping grounds on Monday.  His love for us and ours for him endures.

Love is Forever

Yesterday brought front and center for me how precious and fragile life is. December 16 would have been my brother Mark's 52nd birthday, if not for Hodgkin's Disease.  And yesterday we received one of the most memorable Christmas cards ever.  Our dear friends lost their precious son this year. Their most special card reminded us that impact is not measured in years lived, rather in love infused. 

In loving memory of Mark, Sean and all others I've loved and lost, I thank you for reminding us all that life is fleeting, but love is forever.

Suspending Planning and Succumbing to Spontaneity

We sometimes create the best memories when we suspend planning and agree to embrace spontaneity.  Thus, I agreed the day before the adventure to join a 1400 mile road trip to create "home away from home" for Julia.  Though a 3-seat U-Haul was not ultimately available, I treasure the reality that I was willing to spontaneously embrace a multi-day trip that had not initially included me. 

When we are willing to passionately pursue available options, we benefit from the experience gained from those that materialize and from the expanded thinking resulting from those that don't work out.  We always need to be willing to embrace alternatives in order to maximize our experiences.  Flexibility is a great attribute in our ever-changing world.

Labors of Love

Julia was due on Labor Day (a very appropriate due date), but chose to enter our lives a few days early (she continues to maintain her early over-achiever distinction).  How fitting that on the 22nd anniversary of Julia's due date Edgar and Gar are finishing a 1400 mile trek to provide lovely, meaningful furnishings for her senior year apartment! 

Labors of love are ideally as meaningful for the givers as they are for the recipients.

Furniture Shuffle

We've been blessed by an abundance of furniture.  It always seemed so distant that Julia and Gar would need furniture for their own spaces. In the blink of an eye, Julia's a college senior and moving into a nice unfurnished apartment. The game of furniture shuffle has begun.  It seems like a combination of chess and twister to get the pieces she needs.  We had 3 antique chests placed in a large closet and one in the garage.  Each chest was currently storing items.  Getting the chest she chose required emptying the contents of the closet and chests, emptying and cleaning the chest in the garage, then moving everything back into the closet with the garage chest substituted for Julia's chest.

As is often the case with a time consuming labor of love, many positives emerge. It gives me great joy to know that Julia will have furniture that's meaningful to her as she creates her first independent space apart from university housing.  I organized this closet when we moved in 5 years ago.  As items have been added, the closet was no longer as easy to navigate as it originally was.  We once again have easy access to its contents.  And I found a votive holder that I needed to complete the breakfast room centerpiece.

The great thing about the game of furniture shuffle is that everyone wins.

Father's Day

Yesterday was a designated day to honor our fathers.  The three fathers profoundly and positively impacting my family are each deserving of daily love, respect and appreciation (Daddy, my husband and my deceased father-in-law).  Each of these men has created unique, deep bonds of love with their children.  Words, cards and gifts one Sunday in June remind us to pause and reflect gratefully upon their lives and impact.  In reality, every day is a perfect day to show appreciation to those we love. Designated holidays days just help us focus our appreciation.

Happy Father's Day!

Don't Wait to Say What You Mean

I've had the most devastating experience of losing my two cherished younger brothers to disease and accident. This brings vividly to mind the saying, "the things that don't kill you make you stronger."

I realize that profound loss makes us more empathetic. But I also am more attuned than many to the fact that "nothing is a given."

Our close, loving family had the unthinkable experience of losing two vibrant, most loved family members in two years. These unexpected deaths sent shock waves through our family, community and each of our individual realities.

Despite our profound and endless loss, our family is living, loving and thriving.

We all consistently say "I love you" as we greet and as we conclude a visit or call.

Please, don't wait to let others know how much they mean to you.