If the Shoe Fits

When the shoe fits I will run, fish, dance, work  or play in it! We sometimes pigeonhole ourselves or allow others to do so.  Because we have different skills and interests, we can't be confined to one shoe. My weekend shoe wardrobe includes the dress shoe I wore to work, my running shoes, wading boots and sandals for dinner.  When the mood hits me I'll find the shoe that fits me and encourage others to do the same.

Smile in the Mirror

Before we leave the house each morning, we all use a mirror to ensure that we've accomplished the essentials.  Unfortunately, I've encountered successful individuals who don't also use their mirrors to offer a warm, validating and encouraging smile to themselves.  Smiling at ourselves in the mirror each morning is a great way to start the day.  It's easier to provide a smile to another when we've already received one.  Sometimes the gifts we give ourselves keep on giving.

No Limits!

This month has been a blur of positive energy, successes, possibilities, encouragement, advancements, challenges overcome, teamwork, creativity, initiative, compassion and innovation.  Though there are countless things over which we have no control, this reminds me that there are no limits to the way we react, respond or take charge of the situations we encounter.

I've previously shared insights from several of these events, but feel inspired to share some thoughts from some of the exceptional women I've been privileged to hear in the past two days:

• Kathrine Switzer - 1st female Boston marathon runner
• Kay Bailey Hutchison - 1st female to represent Texas in the U.S. Senate
• Sheryl WuDunn - 1st Asian-American Pulitzer Prize Winner
• Dr. Bonnie Dunbar - Astronaut who flew the first docking flight between the Russian Space Station and the Space Shuttle
• Bonnie St. John - 1st African-American ski racing Olympic medalist

Each of these remarkable women has chosen to use her accomplishments and wide public acknowledgement to become positive, outspoken role models and change agents.  

My loving parents encouraged me from birth hat I could do and be anything.  So many of our young women and men need external encouragers.

When we positively pursue our passions with hard work, commitment and obsession for excelling, there are no limits!

1000 Things to Say? Yes!

When I began this adventure - 1000 posts ago, with the encouragement of Christine and Janet, I wouldn't have done it if they'd told me I had to post 1000 times. Thankfully, they both assured me that only one post every week would suffice.  And, what an inspiring project it has been!

Things I've realized:

• starting is often the hardest step and encouragement is crucial
• we all have more to share than we know
• attempting something contemporary and new to us is another way to continuously learn and relate to younger friends and associates
• expecting to share information makes us more observant and communicative
• no one has 1000 things to spontaneously share
• setting an achievable goal is motivating (it's exciting to realize that I've exceeded the once per week objective nearly five times!)
• we never know who might be touched by the things we share
• reconnecting with old friends is a joy
• stuff that happens to us might encourage another
• creative outlets take different forms at various stages of our lives

Encourage One

Sometimes goals that are too lofty discourage well intended progress.  Three times this week I've had the opportunity to remember that encouraging one person can have positive ripple impacts.

One of my friends is an amazing golfer.  When we were visiting at the end of 2012 or beginning of 2013, I shared my 400 mile running goal for the year and we talked about a golf game per week goal for him.  Not only did he adopt it; he motivated another golfer friend to embrace it.

And, at a Comerica Bank and Greater Houston Women's Chamber of Commerce event this week, one of the inspiring comments was, every attendee could, at a minimum, encourage one more person to help reduce negative portrayals of women in the media..

Then, a blown glass starfish was the party favor at an event this week, and included the story of the child who is walking the beach throwing each starfish she finds back into the ocean.  When challenged by an adult about the impact she was having, given the enormous number of beached starfish, she continued her quest with the assurance that she was making a difference to each starfish she assisted.

These three vivid examples made me realize that when I make a difference for anyone, it is a difference that matters.

Tell Others What They Mean to You

Too few people know the difference they make to others.  We all have the opportunity each day to tell loved ones, friends and acquaintances how they've positively impacted our lives.  We're sometimes hesitant to share compliments because we don't know how they'll be received or true feelings because they may not be returned. 

When we say what we mean, with our only objective being encouraging another, it will generally be well received.  Usually, it's only when it's manipulative, false or self-serving do we get a negative reaction.

Random Encouragement

It's fabulous when we get needed encouragement from family and friends.  It's also great when we give and get encouragement from strangers and acquaintances. 

Yesterday morning, in heat that discouraged a normal cadre of walkers and runners, a stranger walker, said from across the street, that she admired me.  I turned to give her two thumbs up with a huge smile, and responded that we are both getting our exercise.

So many of us are doing the best that we can, and there are so very many opportunities to provide encouragement along the way.

Seizing Moments

Kristin Kaufman's book Is This Seat Taken? beautifully illustrates the life gifts we are given when we seize every opportunity to fully engage and learn from those who cross our daily paths.  Her stories of encounters with cab drivers, young children, manicurists, waiters, grocery baggers and executives are full of lessons and enriched with her thought-provoking questions at the end of each unique chapter.

Kristin shares a valuable perspective on success, "Success is aligning who we really are inside our souls with what we do and how we contribute in the world."

The book is peppered with with examples of everyday people who are making the world better for those in their circle by making the most of what they've been given. 

Kristin's insights reinforce the powers of optimism, empathy, observation, gratitude, resiliency, courage, trust and the joys of embracing love and life's simple pleasures.

Self Talk Radio

Our remarkable brains provide the capacity for continuous self-talk (my talk radio).  We do ourselves a disservice when we choose:
Negative 101
Doubting 201
Redo 301
B-team 401
Can't Do 501
Lacking 601
If Only 701
Not My Fault 801
Victim 901

We win big when our station is tuned to one of the following:
I Can 102
Positive 202
Best Shot 302
Winner 402
Done! 502
Enough 602
Going for It 702
It Won't Happen Again 802
Leader 902

The conversations in our heads are just that - conversations.  We owe it to ourselves to be our own best cheerleaders and change the channel when our self-talk isn't encouraging. 

Positive Four Letter Words

It's fun to think of the many positive four letter words that encourage, inspire and motivate us:

• love
• home
• hope
• will
• give
• help
• live
• care
• free
• play
• most
• dear
• idea
• your
• plus
• wows
• best
• soul
• hold
• joys
• epic
• good
• well
• pray
• keep
• baby
• give
• zest
• join
• pure
• glad
• kudo
• true
• hero
• best
• luck
• mate
• fine
• tact
• wish
• pact
• yeah
• wish
• edgy
• kind
• life
• gems
• have
• know
• look
• edge

What four letter words encourage, inspire or motivate you?

Holding On By Letting Go

After our Ole Miss orientation experience, I'm convinced that Gar has found the right school.  The students and staff are incredibly helpful and friendly; the professors and advisors are dedicated to student success; the Goldilocks student population is not-too-large, not-too-small, but just-right; the campus is beautiful and immaculately landscaped; and resources abound to make out-of-staters feel part of the the community.

It is normal and expected that Gar has been spreading his wings during his senior year.  It was wonderful to hear published advisors validate that our increasing parental flexibility is healthy and recommended. 

In one of the inevitable lines for the women's restroom, I realized that we are far better poised for a successful freshman year than others.  A mother who lives 30 minutes from campus engaged a mother who was a few hours away and me, who is 610 miles away, in conversation.   The closest mother had already planned to meet weekly to exchange clean laundry and home-cooked meals. 

Though I'd love nothing more than to have my precious angels, Gar and Julia, in my home, city and/or state, I realize that having options contributes enormously to personal well-being. 

When we are able to let go and allow our loved ones to do what is important to them, we strengthen our bonds by demonstrating our confidence in their judgment and abilities. 

The pre-K roles are once again highlighted: we know that love is without limit, but we've got to separate to experience all the excitement that exists outside our home turf.

Encouraging High Performers

Those who are driven to excel, don’t always get the encouragement they actually need, because they appear self-sufficient.   Sometimes they need encouragement to take high level of performance to the next level, but don’t get it because others fail to realize that high performers need reinforcement, too.

Motivation is Individual

I wish that I could motivate others to undertake beneficial tasks, projects and careers.  It's taken me half my life to realize that I can only motivate myself to do the things that I want and need to do.  For all others I can provide encouragement, create a ripe environment, contribute resources, nudge progress and give feedback.  Just as we cannot lead a horse to water, we cannot instill in another our definition of achievement or our model of striving toward success.

Chief Encourager

We all need people who spot and acknowledge our best attributes and accomplishments.  Our encouragement may come from loved ones, friends, colleagues or even strangers.  Knowing that encouragement can come from all fronts, we can all seek to be a Chief Encourager each day for someone in our daily encounters.  My days have often been brightened by those who are dear acknowledging something special.  And, I've gotten also gotten boosts from friendly strangers.  It only takes an instant to make someone's day. 

Growing with the Encouragement of Friends

I will forever be grateful to Christine and Janet for encouraging me to blog!   What an exciting journey this has been! I vividly remember their first prompts to post.  As I quickly reported to both of my advocates that I'd posted, my next question was, "Now what?". 

I wanted to know how frequently I "had" to post to be a real blogger.  Once per week was the agreed upon frequency.  That seemed possible.  And, I've definitely exceeded that objective with almost daily posts since the end of May.  I would never have imagined that I'd have anything to post in 300 blog entries.  I still wonder frequently, if I'll have anything more to say.  As I greet each new day with a chance to learn and grow, I think I'll make it to 365.

The discipline and challenge of daily posts have helped me think, observe and grow. 

I encourage you to seriously consider whatever you are being encouraged to do (by well-meaning friends).  Just like my friends, they may prompt you to expand your horizons if you're willing to grow with their encouragement.

Who's Your Cheerleader?

Yes, I was an exuberant high school cheerleader.  I didn't realize, until now, that these skills would serve me well through my life and career.  It is often unexpected, but always appreciated, when we privately or (when possible) publicly acknowledge the successes - major and minor - that our friends, colleagues and acquaintances enjoy.  Occasional cheerleaders are icing on the cake.  Consistent cheerleaders - those friends and family members who always send an email, call, leave a message, write a note, or stop by to celebrate our successes and encourage us when we're struggling, are AWESOME!

My consistent cheerleader has always been Mama.  Though 99% of the time she's my acknowledger and encourager, she also keeps me grounded.  When I need to hear opportunities for improvement, she lovingly delivers them.  And I accept them with her loving intent.

We all need someone like my precious Mama in our lives. 

Earn, find, cultivate or recover a cheerleader in your life.

100 Blogs! One Step at a Time

It is important to have a goal in mind (almost every time) when you tackle a new project. For me, becoming a blogger, did not exactly fit this model. Two people, my best friend and our Sterling Bank New Media Editor kept telling me that I should blog. One weekend in May, I responded to their challenge and encouragement. Had I been told then that I had to create 100 blogs by the end of September, I would never have started.

I had no idea that I had 100 things to say and share.

This experience has reinforced for me the importance of taking one significant step at a time. And, the impact of listening to those who care about us and who value our perspective.

I am most appreciative of those of you who have read my blogs, provided comments and forwarded my entries to your friends and colleagues.

Thank you!

Practical v. Precious

My "funtabulous" car was purchased due to the "embrace possibilities" influences of my precious family. I had all intentions of buying another American SUV which had served me admirably. (Note to opinion surveyors - things change.) Why,(asked my wise beyond their years, children) did our family of four need three SUVs? They were right, and I became the steward of a fun, stylish and sporty car. And I enjoy it immensely everyday!

Though this is a specific example, I encourage listening to those who love us. They encourage us to occasionally do things that fall outside our practical mode, but enrich us. Life is to be lived fully!