Now and Next

Regardless of our passions, age or experience -  we owe it to ourselves, families, communities and careers to consciously consider what we are doing now that excites us, or brings us joy, or makes a difference.  (Ideally these things will converge.) And with those answers, we must consider how we will invest our time, talent and treasure to insure that what we do next will continue to make a difference to us, those we love and those we aspire to help.

What Animal Would You Be?

This week, I had a chance to participate in an icebreaker exercise, in a group of 13, where the facilitator asked for a topic.  I suggested, "if you were an animal what would you be?".  The option spontaneously occurred to me, and when the facilitator chose this query, the answers were revealing. The answers also opened additional conversations.

The answers included cats (domestic and large, wild), chameleon, eagle, blue bird, Big Foot, elephant and dog. Each respondent's reasons for their choices, added another dimension to the group dynamics.

Sometimes, an unexpected query can spur creative ways of thinking and learning.

Problems

Often we can minimize problems, but sometimes they must be eliminated.  I cut an irritating tag from a fitted t-shirt.  It appeared that I'd solved the problem. However, though I cut it to the seam, it was still an abrasive nuisance.  Only when I took the time to remove the stitches securing the final tiny remnants did I solve the problem. 

In life and work we must determine which problems can be minimized and which must be eliminated. Sometimes it takes trial and error to find the right answer. 

Answer Shopping

Answer shopping is when we continue to ask a question, hoping for a different answer.  Children do it all the time, playing one parent against another.  We do it when we escalate a customer service issue to a higher level in an organization.  Our court system is designed with a defined appeals process.  And it's common to challenge a medical diagnosis that isn't what we expect.  Answer shopping is a good way to explore our options. 

Everybody's (Not) Fine

Just as the movie "Everybody's Fine" revealed, a stock answer to "protect" others doesn't work when deep emotions, history and relationships are involved.  When we deliver the often expected "Everybody's Fine" answer to the query "How are you, and how is____?", we potentially fall victim to misleading others (and devaluing our position) as we relay the responses.   When we can honestly answer, "I am fine! and "He/she is fine!", we can expect acceptance and support.  Only when we answer honestly, to trusted parties, that "everything's not fine", can we open the door for caring confidantes to help us deal with our reality and challenges.

1000 Ways to Say No

Though we don't think we want to hear "No", that's sometimes exactly what we need to hear.  Until we hear "No", we hold on to the hope, illusion or possibility that we will hear "Yes!".  Lack of a negative response may prevent us from realistically assessing a situation, diversifying our options or moving on to other more promising possibilities. 

There are 1000s of nice ways to say "No" without being offensive or hurtful.  We've all been told how important it is to handle business rejection without taking it personally.  It's equally important to deliver timely and necessary "No" responses.  Unresolved issues create stress and anxiety for all involved.

Though saying "Yes" is far more fun and rewarding, delivering a "No" can allow everyone to move forward, exercising productive alternatives.