Technology Desert

It would have been awesome if I'd experienced a technology dessert - think of the enjoyment without the calories and guilt.  However, mine was a technology desert, without an oasis.  We've become so very dependent upon technology that when it fails, we have an unexpected sense of loss and an accelerated sense of frustration.

I've been loyal to my technology provider forever.  In fact, I worked for the company during my first career.When my technology began failing quickly, and my only option was to patiently wait a week for a 4 hour repair window, that my working schedule would allow, my journey in the technology desert began.

My week in the technology desert highlighted the importance of:

• alternate ways to operate
• patience
• skill and persistence of technicians
• perspective

Consciously disconnecting is to be commended.  Being abruptly disconnected forces us to ultimately realize some of the same benefits.  

We all like choices.  Choosing when we want a technology desert rather than a technology oasis is the best option.

Life's a Buffet

All you can eat buffets have great appeal for some, and aren't attractive to others of us.  Though, I don't like them, I've learned to love the analogy.  With an enormous buffet, options are beautifully presented.  Choices are left to the diner (life architect).  Theoretically, a diner could choose a portion from every offered option.  However, the realities of capacity, appetite and interest cause most of us to make choices that are realistic for us.

In life's buffet, we would all be well served to choose people, experiences, foods and things that fully nourish and energize us.

Observe Carefully and Think Creatively

Can you create 6 by adding one line to IX?

What would you do if you encountered the following sign in a reading comprension test, with the word GO in the middle?




We can become so programmed to think of a line as straight, that we fail to think that adding a curving line (S)  in front of IX makes 6.

And we can become so fixated on equating the red octagonal image with a stop sign that we fail to read the unexpected word placed on the familiar image.

These examples are used to illustrate how easy it is to see or hear what we expect rather than what is actually being presented or said.

When we care about relationships, opportunities or projects, it behooves us to observe carefully what is actually being conveyed and think creatively about alternative meanings.



Roll Again

When Edgar and I were playing backgammon yesterday, one of my dice rolled under the sofa. Reaching under the sofa, I scooped up a die, put it in the cup and rolled. Thinking that I'd mixed the dice, I looked quizzically at Edgar when a die of each color landed on the board.  Unbelievably, the only two items under the sofa were this die that we didn't know was missing and mine. 

Had the dice been the same color, we wouldn't have discovered die #2 or this bizarre coincidence.  

Oddly enough, this oddity reminded me that in life (not dice), we often quit searching when we find what we expect, rather than continue to see if other, better options exist.

Making Stuff that Happens Work

Regardless of our perfection aspirations, stuff (that we don't expect, anticipate or hope for) happens.

When we're faced with challenging situations, we have multiple options including seeking alternatives, exploring connections, finding collaborative partners, endorsing another plan, admitting problems and asking for support, plowing ahead, working around the obstacle, abandoning the current path or just taking a break.

It's easy to get discouraged if we don't realize that there are multiple paths to success.

Toilet Paper Controversy

We dispense the toilet paper in our home so that it comes over the roll.  Out of curiosity I googled and got 22.1 million responses to the right way to put toilet tissue in the dispenser.  And surprisingly, as I typed "right way to", toilet paper was the third option in the list. Never knew what a controversial issue this is!  Various studies through the years have shown that 60-70% of respondents prefer the over method.  It was interesting that some celebrities who prefer each method have been known to change the installation in a friend's home when they found it installed in a way that they perceived was incorrect.

Though I prefer the over method, this was another reminder that there is often more than one right way to accomplish a task. 

Countless Options - Two Clear Choices

The International Ice Cream Association reports that 1.52 billion gallons of ice cream were produced in 2009.  Despite countless available flavors, the top two choices were vanilla (27.8%) and chocolate (14.3%).  When confronted with too many choices, it appears that more than 40% of us clearly opt for one of two traditional favorites.

My theory is that we all like options.  However, if these statistics are indicative, when the decision is important, providing limited versus abundant options may better drive a decision.

Acting When It's Too Important

Sometimes the importance of the occasion paralyzes us.  How do we adequately acknowledge the occasions of those we cherish dearly?  Gift registries assist us in determining what the celebrants desire.  The price tag assigned to these items makes it easy to know how much each requested item costs.  However, it also makes it almost too transparent.  Alternately, Aunt Maude's silver tray might become a more appropriate gift (for the giver) because it has no assigned retail value, but unallocated worth + sentimental value.  But, this might not be a gift that the happy couple values.

Ultimately, we are all happiest when we apply the platinum rule and gift to others items they would like (with or without the assistance of a gift registry) versus gifting items that we would like.

Answer Shopping

Answer shopping is when we continue to ask a question, hoping for a different answer.  Children do it all the time, playing one parent against another.  We do it when we escalate a customer service issue to a higher level in an organization.  Our court system is designed with a defined appeals process.  And it's common to challenge a medical diagnosis that isn't what we expect.  Answer shopping is a good way to explore our options. 

Getting Unstuck

Early this morning I was stuck in completing a very difficult Sudoku.  I knew that it was solvable, but there was no evident next answer. When I reexamined all of my options and cleaned the clutter from eliminated possibilities, the solution suddenly fell into place. 

This experience reminded me that taking a fresh look at available options for business and personal opportunities helps us get unstuck.

How to Buy

We are all inundated daily with recommendations from well-meaning experts/friends/acquaintances/opportunistic sellers.  Selectively incorporating these suggestions allows us to adapt ideas that we might have missed and choose the best options.

 For these recommendations to be helpful we must:

• Know and trust the person recommending
• Have an interest in the product or service
• Be ready to buy

Objectivity

I've attended so many beautiful weddings and I've always been emotionally invested. It was great fun to watch the spectacular Royal Wedding with no personal attachment to the bride or groom.  I was able to really listen objectively to the wedding vows. 

We don't always consider the emotional investment our colleagues may have in business proposals. Their emotion may challenge their objectivity in truly listening to what others are saying and fairly weighing alternatives.  The higher the stakes, the more careful we must be to include objective parties in evaluating business options.

It Is

We attribute labels to everything including these descriptive pairs, and no two lenses are exactly the same:

• Good/Bad
• Fair/Unfair
• Positive/Negative
• Easy/Hard
• Fun/Dull
• Interesting/Boring
• Valuable/Worthless
• Anticipating/Dreading
• Happy/Sad
• Energetic/Lethargic

Many of our assessments are situational, and thus ever evolving.  Others are wholly influenced by our interests.  Some are determined by how we are feeling about ourselves.  Few labels are 100% accurate without attributing context. 

It is!  Occasionally, it is helpful to to accept a situation as it is, without quickly assigning a judgmental label.  The more important the situation is, the more receptive we need to be to considering viewpoints that may differ from our own. It is easier to consider other inputs before we've become vested in our own assessment of best action.

Options

One of my youngest friends was just accepted to a pre-K at a wonderful private school that she could attend through 8th grade.  As is the case with many of my friends, this child's parents have deliberated since her birth about her educational options.  During the competitive acceptance process, this bright child was placed on a waiting list and her parents began exploring other options.  They weighed every factor and ultimately found a new home in a neighborhood with many young families and strong public schools.  Decision making becomes more difficult as the importance increases. They've had the chance to weigh all the variables and choose the option that works best for their family. 

There are many instances, such as this, where there is not one right answer.  Having multiple attractive options gives us more control.

U-Turns in Life

Last night after Gar's winning lacrosse game, I chose to take him to his car at school rather than have him ride the bus back.  As we approached a burger joint that I'd never enjoyed, Gar remarked about how good it was, and asked if I'd been there.  We discussed stopping, but he wavered, partly because it was in such close proximity to the opponent school.  As we passed it, and he continued to remark about the yummy factor, I said that I wished that he'd committed sooner.  With the unencumbered wisdom of a high school student, he mentioned that we had a perfectly good U-Turn ahead. 

Our U-Turn yielded a delicious bison burger and delightful visit.  And the experience reminded me that even if we are on a good path, we may need to consider U-Turns that lead to even better experiences, or at least most enjoyable side trips.

Trade-Offs

We have a lovely canopy of green on two sides of our pool.  I can't imagine how dramatically altered the view would be without all the trees.  Our trade-off for this enjoyment is an ongoing battle with leaves, berries and flowers in the pool. 

Trade-offs permeate all aspects of our lives.  We must always assess whether the benefit we derive is worth the price we pay. 

• Is a wonderful job worth a long commute?
• Is a promising career at a great organization worth the annoyances?
• Is the promotion worth the increased time, responsibility and stress?
• Is a few minutes more sleep worth the risk of being late?
• Is the fabulous dessert worth the calories?
• Is the stunning outfit worth the cost?
• Is having the last word worth damaging a relationship?

Assessments change over time as our priorities and circumstances shift.  I'm always happiest when I realize that I have options and consciously choose my actions.

Let's Watch a Movie

It sounds like an easy task. However with so many choices, we must always ask "what do you want to watch?" The choices include:

• new release
• action
• space
• vampire
• love story
• sports
• mystery
• new
• old
• kid-friendly
• family oriented
• motivational
• biographical
• inspirational
• animated
• classic
• sub-titled foreign
• documentary
• western
• cult
• Oscar-nominated/winner
• featured actor
• war
• recommended
• think it would be worthy
• best-seller book
• other

It's awesome to have countless movie options to enjoy.  How often do we avoid choosing one because the choices are so abundant? 

This also happens in our lives.  Because we have so many choices, we procrastinate - often missing golden opportunities.  There are abundant right choices; and being decisive is less risky than we often assume.

Blank Sheet

All options are open when we grab a blank sheet of paper.  I find this extremely liberating.  Especially when I give myself permission to create as I go rather than tackling the blank sheet as a finished product in the making.  Capturing ideas, editing, inserting additional thoughts, striking unwanted statements as a better option emerges... This allows me to see an article or slogan evolve.

All these years later, I now clearly know why I always provided the required outline after I'd written a paper.  I needed to see what would develop rather than treat it as a finished project at the outset.

We all have different ways of learning, processing information and seeing the world.  Embracing our most comfortable style allows our creativity to flow.

Do you find a blank sheet of paper liberating or intimidating?

What Size Do You Wear?

Does vanity sizing confuse anyone else?  I used to know what size I wore.  Now, it depends on the designer.  I most often wear 2s or 4s, but some 6s also fit.  The size on the garment's tag means very little to my ego.  If the item fits and I feel good in it, it doesn't matter to me what the label says. 

Too often we can get caught up in equally arbitrary definitions in other areas of our lives and miss the opportunity to explore multiple options to find just the right fit.

Options

Nothing changes my outlook like remembering that I always have options. So often stress results from feeling trapped. Many people are trapped in relationships that aren't fulfilling, jobs that aren't inspiring and expectations that are too demanding.

When we feel that we can't quit a boring, dead-end or mis-matched job, change or leave a toxic relationship or find a new, invigorating opportunity, we feel trapped.

Thankfully, I have a fabulous family, omnipotent God, terrific job, delightful friendships, rewarding community involvements and have been blessed to be born in the U.S.A.

I'm grateful for my countless options and hope that you will discover the abundant options available to you.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I try to remember that my situation is temporary, non-life-threatening and controllable. I try to count my blessings including success, creativity, ability to multi-task, experience and communication skills.

Silo thinking leads to extreme stress and inability to draw upon related skills to address the current situation.

May we always open our minds and hearts to the numerous options available to us.