Creating New Memories

Often, when we are faced with grief or change, our instinct is to hold on to the familiar.  However, grief and change require us to do things differently.  When we accept that we can't stop time, it frees us to move forward.

Dread prefaces special occasions and holidays.  Changing the expected celebrations allows us to acknowledge our missing, and create new ways of coping and moving forward.

My birthday came far too close to Edgar's death to anticipate celebration.  However, fabulous family and friends created special new memories to create joy and allow me to move forward.

Looking Forward

When grief takes center stage in life, it is hard to think beyond the moment.  However, it is healing and healthy to find future oriented things to anticipate.  So often, when asked what another can do for us, we don't have an answer.  One of the loveliest things that our extended family did, to alleviate the anxiety of our first altered Thanksgiving, was to create a totally different venue.

It is helpful to have others engage us in interesting experiences beyond the walls of our "one day at a time" existence.

Gratitude and Grief

Losing a loved one is incredibly difficult.  The journey is made better by the countless acts of love, kindness and caring of family and friends.  Opening our hearts and minds to receive comfort allows us to focus on the many things we have for which to be grateful, rather than dwelling exclusively on what we've lost.

Divine Timing

This is the fifth year that Sterling Bank has been recognizing our 50+ hour community volunteers with the chance to designate a $500 grant in their honor to a non-profit organization.  One of our volunteers submitted a grant application for an ineligible organization two weeks ago.  Last week she resubmitted for an eligible organization, with a request to make the award in memory of her son.  I approved the request last Friday, but a printer issue prevented the notification letters to the recipient organization and the honored banker from being submitted until Monday.  The honored banker received her interoffice notification Tuesday, on the second anniversary of her son's death. 

Every day is difficult when grieving.  Significant calendar dates are often more difficult than others.  I was stunned that our timing delays caused notification to arrive on a date that was particularly meaningful to this special banker.

Our Lives are Intertwined

The shock of a young friend's death sends sad ripples through so many lives. Everyone who has known the person focuses on memories of the times their lives have touched. The hole is enormous. In an instant the world changes for all who mourn the loss.

Faith, family,friends and memories are the lifelines available to survivors.