Parenting Skills Work

I've been informally polling parents for the past few days to determine if they agree with my theory that their parenting improves their managerial/leadership skills at work.  My unscientific sample yields 100% agreement that the lessons learned in parenting increase workplace effectiveness.

Some parenting lessons that apply to work:

• Consistency in direction and expectations is required.
• We learn from all those we treasure as individuals.
• Delivering an appropriate "no" is as important as delivering a hoped for "yes".
• "Because I said so" is not a sufficient explanation.
• Friendship is ideal, but not mandatory.
• Flexibility is a must.
• Trust, discretion and confidentiality are essential.
• No two individuals will think, act, respond or be motivated the same way.
• Excessive hovering is as damaging as a hands-off approach.
• A safe haven is necessary to foster differing points of view.
• Value the person and correct the errant behavior.
• Fresh perspectives help us stay current and grow.
• When someone on the home or work team has a crisis, mini-crisis, or important event, we must adapt to accommodate, regardless of what else is going on in our own sphere.
• The messiness and uncertainty of dealing with  individuals who are special to us provides spice to life.
• Resistance gives us a chance to learn, query and adapt when we hear:  "I don't want to _________. I don't like ____________. He's/She's not being fair".

I know I'm a better leader because I've had the privilege to parent two amazing children.  How about you?

Poof - You're a Parent

Even for those of us who have nine months to excitedly anticipate parenthood, it's pretty intimidating when you leave the hospital and realize that regardless how prepared you thought you were, this is going to be a lifetime of on-the-job learning.

My wonderful friend who has been happily single and childless has turned her life upside down to incorporate her niece and two nephews into her life, heart and home while their mother receives treatment.  She didn't have time to plan and prepare for this challenging opportunity.  She didn't seek this enormous responsibility.  It was suddenly thrust upon her.  Out of love, she agreed to convert her "everything in its place, magazine layout home" into a child-friendly sanctuary for these precious children. 

Whether expected or unexpected, it's as if a magic wand is waved and poof - you're a parent.

When Do We Get My Uniforms?

When our first child was born, I was blissfully unaware of how very competitive admission to highly selective private schools is in Houston. This is one of the many joys of growing up in a small town where everyone attends public school. Reality sank in as we left her interview for admission to kindergarten.

Often we don't realize how badly we want something until it's something important to and for your child. Success and avoiding disappointment are mutual goals.

As we got into the car after the interview, my precious daughter asked, "When do we get my uniforms?" We'd not made a big deal about the interview and told her we were going to check out a new school. So, I said, "We need to see if you like the school and if they will have room for you in the class" I tried to hide the stress I was suddenly experiencing as she made it crystal clear, "I want to go to school here!". Prior to that declaration, it had merely been something we wanted for her. The stakes were higher now that she wanted it too.

The wait for her good news seemed forever long and so very welcome when it arrived.

This was a vivid reminder that seeking a successful outcome for someone you love and treasure is far more powerful than seeking it for yourself.