Seizing Moments Throughout the Year

Happy 2015!  It's exciting to make plans to ensure that the new year is filled with joy, love and laughter.  Planning and executing against big goals is important.  Equally important is seizing little moments of success throughout the year.  And since so much of life is filled with maintenance tasks, there are abundant opportunities to acknowledge a completed task, that will almost immediately need to be tackled again.  Examples include those magic moments when:

• the laundry baskets are empty
• there are no dishes in the dishwasher
• every item on the shopping list has been acquired
• all surfaces are dust-free
• the trash and recycling bins have just been emptied
• correspondence is up-to-date

Acknowledging completion of a task is satisfying.  With the next change of clothes, meal consumed or incoming message, the cycle for that activity begins again.  Magic moments are fleeting but we have continuing chances to enjoy each small success.

Play with the Hand You're Dealt

How fabulous that we can learn life lessons as we enjoy card games!  Some similarities
 include:

• life and cards are actually played one hand (day) at time - plan ahead, but live in the present
• keeping score allows us to track progress - goals motivate accomplishments
• losing one or more hands doesn't mean that we might not be the ultimate winner - don't give up
• do-overs are easier in cards than life, but one is never granted without a request - ask for what we want
• we don't know others' hands (agendas, motives, skills, ambitions) - play to our strengths and show our cards one interaction at a time
• winning is fun, but many games well played make life wonderful, regardless of the winner
• rules are boundaries - when desired, create a new game
• fun is a-ok regardless of how busy we are!

Be Successful Where You Are

Recently, I had the chance to hear Jay Steinfeld, Founder and CEO, of Blinds.com talk about his company's incredible company culture.  I've embraced one of the vivid ways he casts a vision for personal and company success:

• Be Successful Where You Are

As he made successive steps across the front of the ballroom, indicating that each step toward a goal could be viewed as failure, until achievement of the goal, it made a huge impact in my way of addressing success. Though setting and achieving goals is enormously important, we need to be careful not to define success solely by achievement of the next milestone.  We owe it to ourselves to celebrate current success while striving for even greater successes each step of the journey.

Trash or Treasure

My mom, husband and children are all accomplished chefs.  Because they routinely create yummy feasts, and enjoy the process, my culinary skills are quite limited.  However, my creative instincts and ongoing desires to make something delightful from unexpected materials  (that often yield non-culinary successes),  occasionally result in delicious, yet usually non-repeatable dishes.

Seeing and acting on potential, where others fail to realize possibilities, is so rewarding.  Refrigerator ingredients that would have been trashed, were combined to produce a scrumptious potato corn soup.  Though I was the only one in town to enjoy it, it was quite exciting to realize that acting on good instincts can occasionally yield results that would ordinarily require skill and experience.

We are generally more apt to experiment when the stakes are low.  And when we are able to turn trash to treasure the rewards are amazing.

Diversity Dimensions

I became intrigued by Comerica’s Master of Diversity Awareness program as soon as I discovered it, but fully realized its potential when everyone in the Business Bank was asked to engage.  It is encouraging that nine elements of diversity are included in the curriculum, the widely expected areas: age, gender, sexual orientation and culture/ethnicity plus other oft included topics: religion and disability but broadened to also encompass: work/life balance, thinking/personality styles and leveraging diversity for performance enhancement. 

The curriculum is ever expanding and positively evolving with opportunities for all colleagues to recommend options for inclusion.  This ensures that the program will remain fresh and relevant and interestingly, creates the possibility that no two colleagues will experience the same content as different levels of completion are recognized – bronze, silver, gold and platinum. 

In addition to the corporate expectation of program participation, I knew there was an opportunity for continuous learning, which I’ve always embraced, plus the chance to be a role model and advocate for our Houston Comerica colleagues.  There have already been chances to educate colleagues about the importance of including broad experiences, perspectives and points of view.  And I’ve been able to share the variety of elements available, including Academy Award nominated films that provide entertainment value to share with family or friends.

My official diversity training began early in my career and initially focused only on ethnic/cultural differences.  Though the first class was likely over 25 years ago, I vividly remember learning from an African American colleague that diversity is not about color blindness.  Rather it is about actively recognizing, acknowledging and accepting differences.

Thankfully, a gay friend told me early in my career, how difficult it is to fit into a predominantly straight workplace.  Photos of their partners weren’t expected to be displayed in the office, invitations were often extended only to spouses and with so little information available with early cases of AIDS, unfounded fears of exposure existed.   I became sensitive and supportive of these challenges and universally began extending invitations to spouses or significant others.

Though various tools (Myers Briggs, Birkman, DISC, Social Styles Selling Skills) to understand and enhance individual and team performance weren’t then categorized as diversity initiatives, it is clear to me now, that these were critical early efforts to recognize diversity’s ultimate promise.  By best understanding ourselves and others, we have the chance to utilize the skills, strengths, preferred ways of working and new ways of approaching projects to improve individual, team and company performance. 

Years ago, I realized that diversity is like a multi-faceted diamond.  It is far broader than even the nine elements included in our MDA program.  Our family composition and dynamics, education, where we were raised, skills, abilities, experiences, physical traits, emotional well-being, attitudes and outlooks all influence how we present ourselves, interact with others and perform the roles we play.

Some discoveries from the different program elements and suggestions include:

• Micro-inequities can play a huge part in discouraging, disengaging or losing valuable perspectives.  Thus exercising the Platinum Rule has huge importance.  The Platinum Rule indicates that we should treat others as they expect to be treated.  This has far greater potential than the more broadly advocated Golden Rule.
• Gender issues must be taken seriously by men as well as women.  Unless we are all committed to using the entire workforce, we will fail to realize the gains available when females are more broadly represented in board and leadership positions.  New books like Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In and Bonnie St. John’s How Great Women Lead expand the dialogue and raise awareness of the opportunities that exist.
• Religious speech in the workplace is allowed, even if controversial, just as other nonreligious speech is allowed.  Speculation of negative feelings or impact is not sufficient to thwart religious expression.
• “Overqualified” is a seemingly politically correct way to address a prospective employer’s concerns that an older worker might be less committed to a job.  Until we understand a person’s true interest in a job, we risk unintentionally failing to hire the best, most experienced candidate.
• “Looksism” is another diversity element not included in traditional diversity programs.  It is easy to discriminate against another because of appearance with or without consciously acknowledging these biases.

The MDA program has great potential to broaden our expectations of gains to be realized when we choose to be truly inclusive of the differences that make each of us unique and special individuals.   As more colleagues tackle the curriculum, we have the chance to overcome biases, increase respectfulness and improve performance.   And we add another common language for achievement - bronze, silver, gold and platinum. 

No Limits!

This month has been a blur of positive energy, successes, possibilities, encouragement, advancements, challenges overcome, teamwork, creativity, initiative, compassion and innovation.  Though there are countless things over which we have no control, this reminds me that there are no limits to the way we react, respond or take charge of the situations we encounter.

I've previously shared insights from several of these events, but feel inspired to share some thoughts from some of the exceptional women I've been privileged to hear in the past two days:

• Kathrine Switzer - 1st female Boston marathon runner
• Kay Bailey Hutchison - 1st female to represent Texas in the U.S. Senate
• Sheryl WuDunn - 1st Asian-American Pulitzer Prize Winner
• Dr. Bonnie Dunbar - Astronaut who flew the first docking flight between the Russian Space Station and the Space Shuttle
• Bonnie St. John - 1st African-American ski racing Olympic medalist

Each of these remarkable women has chosen to use her accomplishments and wide public acknowledgement to become positive, outspoken role models and change agents.  

My loving parents encouraged me from birth hat I could do and be anything.  So many of our young women and men need external encouragers.

When we positively pursue our passions with hard work, commitment and obsession for excelling, there are no limits!

Two Ways to Get 100%

I count the number of people ahead of me in line and calculate how long my 6 mile commute home will be based upon traffic flow at the 2 mile mark.  So it's not surprising that I track completion of my run route by percentage completion at various points.  This morning as I was doing my mental math it also occurred to me that any steps I take are 100% better than inactivity.

It helps keep me motivated to have different ways to measure success.

How do you measure progress?

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers is filled with fascinating examples of lucky breaks, timing and background that are common to success in many fields.  Though the combinations vary by field;  passion, opportunity and persistence are common across fields.  And, a great truth was confirmed that "good enough is good enough".  Brightest does not necessarily equate to most successful.  Regardless of the pursuit, ten thousand hours of practice yields an expert.

Energizing Activity

Everyone's unique!  Things that energize some of us, drain others.  We each need to deliberatively ask ourselves which activities energize us, and which ones drain us. 

We can't wait to participate in energizing activities.  With equal frequency, we dread and avoid those that drain us.

Though we can't avoid all unpleasant activities, we often fail to recognize that some of the things that we avoid are energizing for others.  We can dramatically increase happiness, satisfaction and energy when we actively engage others to determine who is most and least passionate about the tasks required for the team/company/organization/family to be successful. 

383,999,000 Things That Didn't Happen

It's sometimes overwhelming to deal with all the things that come our way.  However, when we consider that 383,999,000 (google search for stuff that happens) possible things didn't cross our paths, it is easier to process the things that we did address.

Makes me feel 100% better about the several things I did successfully address.

Everything is relevant!

What the Top 1% Do Differently

Garrison Wynn's book, The Real Truth about Success - What the top 1% do differently, why they won't tell you, and how you can do it anyway" captures 10 years of his research with 5000 top performers. 

A few tidbits from his book include:

1.      Most successful people get where they are because they have secret advantages and aren’t afraid to use them – look, personality, character trait, demeanor, network, resources

2.      We often deem irrelevant the smaller things we do repeatedly.  However little differences are often the BIG distinction.

3.      You actually want an unfair advantage rather than a fair fight.

4.      We get value from those we trust – compassion and competence lead to trust.

5.      Be clear and likable- if you are likable you have influence

6.      Optimism peppered with negativity to get innovation and success – there is a difference between negative thinking and fatalistic thinking.

7.      Intelligence must be coupled with communication. Without clarity you have no impact.  It doesn’t matter how much you know if no one understands you.

8.      You can’t be influential unless you know what someone values.

9.      Sometimes it is what you don’t know that helps you most – everyone knows something you don’t know – that is a way to build buy in, connection and make the other person feel valued.

10. Much of our success is based on appearance and personality.

11. The true strength of a team is based upon people playing different roles.

12. You can’t lead by example if you are a bad example.

13. Do very little of what you do badly and a lot of what you do well.

14. Listening is powerful – it makes others feel important, heard and smart.

15. Don’t say "you are wrong" – look for even  a 10% opportunity for agreement.

16. If people don’t like your behavior, they look for reasons to disagree.

17. Most successful people enjoy the process to be successful

18. Know how others perceive you and use that to your advantage.

Anything But Manila

Several comments were made about my bright animal print file folder at a meeting last week.  Not only do non-traditional folders provide a festive touch, they are easy to find when you've put them aside to shake hands at a meeting.  My insistence on anything but manila folders for meetings began after I arrived at a podium to deliver remarks and discovered my colleague's photo release forms rather than my notes.  Fortunately, I'd studied the material and no one knew that I was winging it until my post-event confession to the team.

Fitting in has its advantages, but so does standing out.  Knowing when to apply each adds to success.

Seizing Moments

Kristin Kaufman's book Is This Seat Taken? beautifully illustrates the life gifts we are given when we seize every opportunity to fully engage and learn from those who cross our daily paths.  Her stories of encounters with cab drivers, young children, manicurists, waiters, grocery baggers and executives are full of lessons and enriched with her thought-provoking questions at the end of each unique chapter.

Kristin shares a valuable perspective on success, "Success is aligning who we really are inside our souls with what we do and how we contribute in the world."

The book is peppered with with examples of everyday people who are making the world better for those in their circle by making the most of what they've been given. 

Kristin's insights reinforce the powers of optimism, empathy, observation, gratitude, resiliency, courage, trust and the joys of embracing love and life's simple pleasures.

Making Stuff that Happens Work

Regardless of our perfection aspirations, stuff (that we don't expect, anticipate or hope for) happens.

When we're faced with challenging situations, we have multiple options including seeking alternatives, exploring connections, finding collaborative partners, endorsing another plan, admitting problems and asking for support, plowing ahead, working around the obstacle, abandoning the current path or just taking a break.

It's easy to get discouraged if we don't realize that there are multiple paths to success.

Success Means...

At a recent Sterling Bank Women’s Business Initiative Luncheon, participants were asked what success means to them.  Though we are all unique, there was a lot of commonality in the 51 responses. Over three-fourths (78.4%) of the answers fell into the following four categories:

• Helping Others –  35.3%
• Achieving goals, dreams, potential – 19.6%
• Happiness – 13.7%
• Pursuing Passion – 9.8%

Other descriptions included:

• Money
• Peace – Inner or God’s
• Strategic pursuit of knowledge
• Abundance
• Honesty
• Relationships
• Independence
• Self-sufficiency
• Prepared
• Brave enough to risk failing
• Meeting the President, Governor, Pope and Queen

What does success mean to you?

Wicked Success

It's always marvelous to present a fabulous, crowd-pleasing speaker, and we did it again yesterday at Sterling Bank's Women's Business Initiative Luncheon in Houston.  CEO, Entrepreneur, Speaker and Best-Selling author, Vickie Milazzo shared the success strategies that earned her a place on the Inc. list of Top 10 Entrepreneurs and provided the inspiration for her newly released book, Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman. Her definition of wicked is exaggerated or amplified, which challenges us to think, dream, plan and act on audacious (rather than small) goals. 

She reminded us that time is a precious gift and that though women can do everything; it doesn’t mean that we should do everything.  Thus, we need to carefully inventory time-sucking distractions and ensure that we are not saying “yes” by default.  We sometimes forget that each yes, is a no to something else.

Vickie’s vivid personal example of focusing on things that we can control hit a chord with many.  The business she pioneered had grown for 26 consecutive years, until the recession hit in 2008.  She couldn’t control the recession, but she could and did control her approach. By implementing internal financing options for their students’ education programs, they maintained market share and profitability. Once again, she thought BIG and won.

We too, can win BIG by energetically and deliberatively pursuing our passions.

It's Your Time to Soar

At the June Sterling Bank Women’s Business Initiative Luncheon in San Antonio, I had the chance to present “It’s Your Time to Soar”.   Each attendee was asked to:

·         focus on one business goal and one personal goal

·         write them down, making certain that they are measurable and motivating

·         share them later in the day with a trusted friend who will encourage achievement

·         commit to doing something every day toward achieving the goals

·         celebrate successes

I don’t know who penned the wonderful quote, “To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.”  It challenges us to identify what is holding us back.  Some things to consider are:

• Skill
• Passion
• Purpose
• Commitment
• Action
• Realistic optimism
• 360 degree feedback

Steps toward soaring include:

• Letting go of the status quo and facing fear
• Holding ourselves accountable
• Deciding why we are doing what we are doing
• Making a declaration and acting
• Doing something bigger than ourselves
• Celebrating successes
• Being a life-long learner

Ten important questions to ask ourselves include:

1. Would you hire yourself?
2. Whose approval are you seeking?
3. Are you playing the role of victim?
4. Are you in the right job?
5. Are you passionate about what you are doing?
6. What can you do to make things better?
7. Are you I identifying problems or creating solutions?
8. Is your language limiting or liberating?
9. What does success look like?
10. Are you measuring results or activity?  Busyness can detract from your business.

To get from idea to ideal we need to:

• Listen
• Link (connect)
• Learn
• Lift (heavy lifting)
• Let go of status quo
• Lead
• Love (passion)
• Luck

I concluded by encouraging attendees to value what is, yearn for what can be and act in accord with their desires.

Roadmap to Success

Susan Steinbrecher inspired attendees at our June Sterling Bank Women’s Business Initiative Luncheon to create our own individual Roadmaps to Success.  Susan is an internationally acclaimed business woman, executive coach, speaker and author.  She’s the founding CEO of Steinbrecher and Associates, a management consulting firm that has been helping senior executives at an impressive roster of well-known companies since 1992.  Hers is a results focus, partnering with senior executives to develop and implement innovative, life-changing and profit-building solutions.

Susan’s five Success Fundamentals include:

• Courage to step up, take initiative and act (Failure is often the result of doing nothing.  When we act, even if our plan and execution is not perfect, we have the ability to adjust.)
• Outstanding communications skills (The ways that we convey information are varied – 7% spoken words; 38% tone of voice; 55% body language.)
• Finding possibility in adversity (A woman with one leg and no prosthesis finished a 100-mile bike race 1 hour earlier than Susan did.)
• Excellent planning and implementation skills (“Good plans shape good decisions. That’s why good planning helps make elusive dreams come true.” Lester R. Bittel)
• Unwavering belief in the possibility of success

Her experience in training for and completing a 100-mile bike ride through the mountains provided interesting examples of:

• Discovering and overcoming limiting beliefs
• Successfully facing fear
• Creating success though incremental goals and actions
• Viewing what is possible rather than what isn’t possible

Susan concluded with a 3-part checklist to help us achieve our career goals:

1. I will stop_________________________________________.
2. I will start_________________________________________.
3. I will continue______________________________________.

What Success Looks Like

We only need to look in the mirror to see what success looks like.  It's not the same for everyone.  When we understand and pursue the things that make us happy and fulfilled, that is success.  

Fish Stories

Fishermen have great tales to tell - those caught and those that got away.  The themes are similar, regardless of the angler.  It's always interesting to hear of one's greatest conquests.  What is even sweeter, is to hear someone else, unsolicited and totally unexpected,  relate your success story (fishing or other) to others.  The sharing creates two celebrants - the teller and the catcher (winner of any sort).