Pain - Experience - Comfort

When we are in the midst of a personal crisis, it's impossible to see, believe or understand that lessons will be learned from the profound pain.  We must deal with our situation in the manner and time frame that work with our volatile emotions, fragile state and capacity to deal with well-meaning, caring, insensitive and unknowing individuals.  At the point when we've dealt with the initial shock and adjustment to an altered reality that we never imagined, we must put our new life together one baby step per day.  Some days will be baby steps forward.  Others will be baby or big steps backward.  Each step, regardless of the direction, is a  way of dealing with our new future. 

No two experiences are alike.  But, pain is real.  Regardless of the way that we process our loss, we can all benefit from sincere empathy, especially of others who have lost loved ones. 

Thus, the comfort.  When we receive the comfort extended by others, regardless of form, the giver and we benefit.  I still vividly remember critically assessing comments when my brother Mark died.  I was mourning, angry and inept at dealing with the situation.  Two years later, as we had the unthinkable grief of dealing with my brother Steve's death, I'd matured in my thinking.  Since I'd already experienced profound, untimely loss, I'd had the chance to realize, recognize and process the reality that any expression of concern is appropriate and appreciated.  We teach our children to deal with so many realities.  However, dealing with death is not in the curriculum.

Anyone who extends an expression of sympathy, regardless of form, is to be appreciated.  They've done what other well-meaning, but unacting others would like to express.

From our pain, we gain experience.  When we use our experience to comfort others we reduce our pain and increase our comfort.

Incremental Improvement

When we expect phenomenal change, we are often disappointed.  When we embrace incremental improvement, we realize sustained success.

Wisdom from the (S)ages

In addition to my older relatives, I love all that I've learned from my other special elders:

Mr. Mac:

• People matter more than things. (He always cheerfully greeted everyone.)
• Small can be extraordinary.  (He had penny candy in his corner grocery.)
• When you realistically trust others you will be rewarded. (He had credit accounts for groceries.)
• Sales tax doesn't discriminate.  (I saved my pennies to buy a 29 cent pair of sunglasses when I was 6 years old.  When I made my purchase, I was made aware that sales tax was added to every purchase.)
• Big (empty) boxes (toilet paper, etc.) yield countless hours of pleasure.  We made incredible creations using Mr. Mac's big boxes.
• Family is broader than birth.  We didn't realize for many years that Amy and Beth weren't our cousins.

Mrs. Hayden:

• There's always time to visit.
• Friendship can transcend age and distance.

Miss Gray:

• We also benefit when we help others achieve their goals.
• Learning what we are not passionate about propels us to discover what matters.
• Communicating with older friends keeps us connected.
• I am not a pianist. Practice and passion are required to perfect musical ability. However, reading and appreciating classical music are life skills that I treasure.
• Creating our own annual stage allows us to celebrate many successes.

Mrs. Craig:

• Age is just a number.
• Staying active keeps us young.
• There are certain things that I cannot physically do.
• I can do things that those older than I am cannot.
• Family includes genetics and preferences.

Mr. Condry:

• The workplace recognizes role v. age.  Do what you are hired to do.
• Mentors help.
• Results rule.
• Presentations can make or break.
• Everyone needs someone to respect them.
• When we are willing to learn, we also teach.

Pruning

I'd already made a mental note to replace the sad plant in my bathroom.  It had brightened the room for many months.  Suddenly all I seemed to see were the pervasive brown fronds.  Though I wasn't extremely hopeful, I started removing the dead leaves.  Once the pruning was complete, the plant was once again attractive and vibrant.  With a little careful attention the plant that was about to be replaced once again had a bright future.  

We can personally and organizationally begin to resemble the unattractive plant unless we remain vigilant in pruning bad habits and eliminating things that no longer work.  Unless we pay careful attention to details we are at risk of becoming obsolete.  Even when things start to decline, transformative make-overs can bring renewal.

Some Gave All...

We often take for granted the many freedoms we enjoy.  When someone in our circle dies protecting our freedom, we are vividly reminded that we owe incalculable debt, appreciation and honor to all of our soldiers and their loved ones who have bravely fought and continue to lay down their lives to protect the freedoms we hold dear.

Cpl. Chris Yauch is a fallen soldier who has been a part of my circle since his birth.  I am enormously grateful that he was willing, but incredibly sad that Chris had to give all to protect our freedom.

Chris, his family and I grew up in an amazing town in north central Arkansas - Batesville.  I've never been more proud of a community honoring the ultimate sacrifice of a local hero.

 http://www.slide.com/r/CDk1BR3-5z-nk9D2NSYECFHLNmwNiJt-?emt=1067381811229489416

Who You Don't Know Matters

Conventional wisdom is “Who you know matters”. In so many cases, this is absolutely true. Referrals, recommendations, invitations, jobs and contracts result from relationships we’ve made and fostered. We need to continue to nurture our relationships by staying connected and continuing to add value for our friends and associates. At networking events, however, the rule changes. Networking events do provide a valuable opportunity to strengthen existing relationships. They also allow us to initiate contacts with those we haven’t yet met. If we fail to broaden our circle, we’ve missed 50% of the value that can be derived from networking events.

Best Women's Business Initiative

My day, week and month were made when I googled "Best Women's Business Initiatives" and our Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative was #1 among 15.3 million entries.  We've invested a lot of time, money and energy to create educational programs and networking opportunities for executive women and business owners. 

Thank you to the many, many of you who participate.  Please let us know what we can do to keep our program #1.