Accepting Bags of Rocks

Everyone has his or her own bag of rocks.  I love this way of describing all the unseen things that each of us deals with every day.  It's perhaps, just an updated version of the concept of walking a mile in another's moccasins.  We all have our public personas and our private selves.  Regardless of how carefree we are in our public appearances, we are all vulnerable in various ways.

When we consciously try to embrace the possibility that others we encounter are dealing with their bags of rocks, to the best of their abilities, we can be more accepting of small slights or things done differently than our way.

My Purse Was Not Stolen at Church

For a minute, I thought that the unthinkable had occurred - that my purse had been stolen at church.  When we returned to our pew after taking communion, my purse wasn't where I'd left it, nor was it on the floor beneath the pew.   Panic set in as I looked all around for my missing purse.  Another parishioner and I had blindly followed Edgar into the pew in front of ours. Fortunately, when we spotted my purse behind us, we realized that we'd simply assumed the wrong seats.   The irony of Edgar leading us into the wrong pew is that he is ordinarily uncannily spatially aware. 

This was a vivid reminder:

• things aren't always as they seem
• every leader can make a wrong turn
• we can be badly mistaken when we jump hastily to a conclusion without examining the facts

Appearances

Julia and I just got manicures and pedicures.  We both had the same reaction to two women who came in after us.  They were wearing their team's NFL jerseys.  We were pleasantly surprised to find that both were articulate professionals with highly responsible careers.  It made no difference in this setting what our expectations were, but it was a two-fold reminder:

• dress for the role you have or aspire to have
• don't let initial assumptions based upon appearance preclude learning what an individual has to offer

Snow or White

In February, I was accosted by an unexpected snow and ice storm that shut down the Little Rock airport.  The beauty of the winter storm provided a gorgeous blanket of white. A few short weeks later, the same road trip provided another checker-board of white.  This trail of white harkened spring! Though one could assume that trees covered in white meant another snowstorm, reality reveals that these white blossoms welcome spring!

What Were You Thinking?

Every communication is impacted by the tone, setting, intent, context and timing.  I've thought a lot recently about the question, "What were you thinking?" 

When we ask a young child, as we pick them up from school, we might inquire about their impression of a new concept or subject matter.  It is an inquiring question with no judgment attached.  We sincerely want to know what they think about something they've not previously encountered.  The question is asked to seek their honest input. 

It is also a stupid question that I often pose to unhearing drivers of other vehicles who cut me off, drive slower than molasses, decide that all of the miles of notices that the lane is ending don't apply to them, or drive distractedly.

It's the question asked when a beloved child forgets his/her ingrained values.

And, just as when our children are young, it's also the inquisitive way of ascertaining what our colleagues are thinking when they propose a new offering.

So often, we assign limiting parameters to enlightening questions.  I hope that I will most often pose the question with the anticipation of gleaning information that is new to me, rather than judgmentally inquiring.