Slowed

I'm an energizer bunny, and was unexpectedly and suddenly slowed, from my warp speed pace this weekend.  After a three mile run, and tackling several things on my to do list, I experienced an action stopping back spasm, that rendered me incapable of moving without serious pain.

Because I'm active, healthy and mentally programmed to accomplish the things planned, I assumed that this would pass within a few moments.  It took 24 hours for me to regain any degree of customary mobility.  And 2 1/2 days later, I still twinge with a change of position.

This extremely frustrating, painful and slowed weekend vividly reminded me how quickly things can change.  As I'm regaining speed, I'm even more thankful for how remarkably well my body generally functions.

Temporarily slowed... but not stopped...
Things take longer in slow motion...
Time to think...
New ways to do...
Regaining speed...
With new perspective!

We See the Same Thing Differently

One of my young colleagues and I were visiting at a retirement celebration for another co-worker yesterday.  He has been an engaged participant in our Comerica Bank Master of Diversity Awareness program classes that I've taught.  He made a point, beautifully and simply, as we were sharing perspectives about the initiative.  He held his raised hand between us at eye level.  Though we were both viewing his hand, his view of his palm was far different than my view of the back of his hand.  What a lovely reminder that we all see the same things differently!

Left, Left, Right, Left, Left

At a recent luncheon, a right-handed attendee, shocked me with her observation that of the eight guests at our table, four of us were left-handed.  This was the first time I'd ever had a right-hander comment on handedness. My assumption has always been that only left-handers notice, because right-handers don't even think of handedness.  My immediate question was, "Do you have a left-handed child?".  Not surprisingly, she does.

Left-handers have had life-long experiences of adapting to right-handed tools and processes, so we notice this difference.  This awareness, or lack thereof, probably occurs with other subtle differences, as well.  We can benefit from the attention to details and perspectives these differences provide.

Micro-Inequities

A Comerica Bank computer based training course, that is an option for achieving various levels in our Diversity Awareness program, effectively addresses micro-inequities.  These are small gestures, actions, comments and lack of acknowledgement that can disengage team members.  It's not always the big affronts that cause the biggest damage. Eye rolls, arriving late, leaving early, crediting a friend/insider (rather than the first to propose) with a great idea, exclusive pre-meetings and post-meetings, side conversations, checking electronic devices and failure to listen are a few ways that valuable inputs are thwarted and valued colleagues   may choose to seek other employers who value their perspectives.

Every day we have multiple opportunities, big and small, to gain insight from those whom we encounter.  It doesn't take a lot to make someone feel special, nor does it take much to make someone feel insignificant.  Special wins every time!

How Full is Your Glass?

One of the classic differentiators between optimists and pessimists is whether they see the glass as half-full or half-empty. I was born and raised as an optimist and see the glass as full and overflowing.  However, I know several folks whose glass is half-empty, cracked and leaking.  This week I learned of the ultimate pessimist who asks, "What glass?".

We View Things Differently

We rarely see the whole picture. A photo gives us the opportunity to view one aspect of a situation or event.   A wedding is the best example.  The bride and groom will choose their best photos.  The bride's family chooses different bests. The groom's family's selection is different. And, friends will select photos that might not make the other party's cuts. Only by viewing all the photos snapped by the official photographer and those captured by everyone else with an active camera do we have a comprehensive view.

Each presentation allows us to position our view.

Only when we comprehensively present facts, do we allow others to adopt, adapt or reject our view.

Winding Down

I wish that I knew how to wind down.  I've visited with so many relatives, friends and colleages who have been winding down their year since December 1 and I'm jealous. I think that the coroner is the only one who can bring a stop to my never-ending "to do list".  Since winding down isn't an option for my personality type, I've chosen to change my perspective and be grateful for my many responsibilities and interests.

Find It!

One of our Christmas presents is a family game, Find It!  It's a self-contained scavenger hunt concealing 47 different objects.  As promised, it enterained all ages for days.  And it is a reminder that we don't always see the things we know are there.  It encourages patience, persistence, experimenting with different techniques and the pursuit of group goals.

Filters

We all filter information based upon our knowledge and experiences.  When we are relaying information from a presentation to others, we often cull the information that we already know and only share new findings or current status.  Because we all view the world so differently, this filtered information may or may not be helpful to others.  Our view of the world can prevent us from seeing the world as others do.  Just as we check the lint filter in the dryer with each use, we should check our own information filters frequently.

Reading Upside Down

Reading upside down challenges us to do something in an unnatural way.  I'm reading a book that posts answers to questions upside down.  As easy as it would be to turn the book around, I've chosen to challenge myself to read the answers as presented.  Afterall, we're constantly reminded that we need to exercise our brains. We can all read upside down, it just takes a little longer.  This reminds us to cover information on our desks that we don't want the party sitting across from us to access.

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I know it looks like I typed the title in the dark with my fingers on the wrong keys.  Writing Backwards challenges us do something that feels very unnatural.  We have to consciously reverse the way we know to do something that has become simple.  Though I don't have a practical application for becoming proficient at writing backwards, the exercise reminds me that learning anything new is ackward at first and that changing direction may not be as simple as it sounds.

Flying or Falling?

One would think that we could easily tell the difference between flying and falling.  As with many things, our ability to determine the trajectory depends on our perspective.  The Olympic ski jump events beautifully illustrate this.  When watching any of these incredible athletes compete, one has the image of them flying through the air.  Reality reveals that they are actually falling toward the bottom of the mountain.

It's the same sensation as we observe colleagues and competitors from a distance.  We don't actually know if they are soaring to new heights or about to descend.

When we compare ourselves with others, without knowing the facts, conditions and objectives, we may set unrealistic expectations. Though competition generally keeps us sharp, the only way we can ensure that we're moving in the right direction is to continually aim for our personal best.

How Do You Get to ...?

When you ask for the best way to get to a particular location, you'll generally get two different answers from my husband and me.  We will both get you to the intended location.  And we each feel that ours is the best route.  "Best" is subjective.  His way is best for him and mine is best for me because we each feel that our way is quickest or least subject to traffic delays.  Our individual routes give us a feeling of control over ever-changing variables.

So often we get caught up in the unimportant mechanics of how something is accomplished rather than celebrating the myriad paths that lead to success. 

This year I'm going to try to remember that when I'm literally driving or driving a project I get to choose the path.  When someone else is at the helm, I need to enjoy the alternate route and be an enthusiastic participant in the journey.

What's Cold?

I recently attended a breakfast meeting with a speaker from Boston. The morning temperature in Houston was under 50.  For our speaker, this was a heat wave compared to her temperatures, and she was surprised to see attendees arriving in winter coats.  In the most air-conditioned city in the U.S., with a climate where the average temperature in our coldest month of January is 41, this was cold.  My mind and body can't even comprehend the temperatures endured during the winter in cold climates.

We adapt to our environments.  Though we might assume that temperature is a common denominator, what is cold to a southerner may be balmy to a northerner.  Our different climate assessments provide yet another way to highlight that two people can be exposed to the same scenario and have totally different experiences and reactions.

When common understanding is important, we need to ensure that we develop a consensus view of the scenario.  For the particular issue, we need to define what's cold.

Seeing Familiar Things with Fresh Eyes

For over twenty-five years we've attended the opening debutante ball of the season.  It's always an elegant party filled with energy and excitement.  The honorees are beautiful and glowing in their exquisite gowns. The fathers are handsome in their tails and bursting with pride as they present their angels to a packed ballroom.  Some years are more personally special than others depending upon our relationship to any of the debs of the season.  But it's always a remarkable party with floral designs that continue to amaze and delight.

Everything changes when you are an honoree family.  You see things that you never experience as an ordinary attendee. There's an unspoken but palpable bond among the mothers of the honorees.  As each young woman is presented, the other mothers share supportive glances and subtle gestures of acknowledgement.  So much can be positively communicated without saying a word.

You get to see very personally how lovely friends, acquaintances and even unmet friends are when your daughter is one in the spotlight.  You are acutely aware of the poise and enthusiasm of each honoree as you have the chance to observe individual and group dynamics during rehearsal and as they dress at the club for this extraordinary evening.

As with many things, there's so much more to glean when you change your view of a situation.

Were We at the Same Event?

I was once again vividly reminded that we all experience things from our own unique perspectives.

A friend and I were talking about an event she'd attended where she'd heard a popular elected official present. It was her first time to hear this individual and she thought it was a terrific presentation. I mentioned that I had heard this individual many times and generally enjoy hearing this person speak, but had attended a recent event where the person was distracted and rambled. As we delved further, we realized that we'd been in the same audience.

She saw energy, openness, candor and knowledge. I'd heard this individual convey all of these attributes, but was also accustomed to preparation and focus. She was delighted; I was disappointed.

There was no call to action in this presentation, so it didn't matter that we had such opposite assessments. But, what if it had been a situation, when there was a need to have everyone receive and act upon the same message? If the feedback loop only included her representative assessment, the opportunity to miss the goal would be enormous. One might assume that those with prior experience with the speaker would automatically be aligned, and view it as terrific that a newcomer was now onboard.

This was a reminder to me that when the outcome is important, the feedback loop needs to be broad.

Is the Grass Greener?

The grass is always greener when a professional is responsible for the care and feeding.

This applies to instances when we hire professionals to maintain our grounds. It is also relevant to job search options when an individual is discontented with a current employer but hasn't professionally examined the pros and cons of his/her current situation versus an alternative employer. If we only look at the above ground (green grass) optics, we may miss the deeply rooted core fundamentals. Temporary situations may look ominous, but we owe it to ourselves, careers and employers to determine if this is a temporary (water rationing during a drought) anomaly or a systemic problem. Unless we professionally invest time to understand and examine our current situation versus alternatives we may fall victim to the reality that the grass is really only greener in very specific geographies (employers).

May green grass flourish as we professionally invest in the care and feeding of our careers.

Cardboard Tomatoes

Juicy farm-raised tomatoes are one of the delicious joys of summer. Juice-less winter supermarket produce labeled as a tomato is a different species altogether. I call these cardboard tomatoes because of flavor and appearance.

Growing up, we had abundant access to just-picked, vine-ripened tomatoes raised by local farmers. During growing season, we had tomatoes for every meal except breakfast. And we never had them out-of-season. Probably one of the reasons that I love tomatoes!

For those whose first or predominant exposure to tomatoes is the cardboard variety, I can easily understand why tomatoes have little or no appeal.

This reminds me that though we have common labels for things, we can view them very differently based upon our experiences. When we can't understand why another person won't embrace our enthusiasm about a new idea, we might be well advised to determine if we're talking about vine-ripened and they are remembering cardboard.

Left-Handed in a Right-Handed World

My assumption has long been that only left-handers notice handedness. Right-handers naturally assume that everyone's right-handed. This makes perfect sense - 90-93% of the population is right-handed.

I recently had a unique experience at a meeting of 30 or so members of an advisory group. All attendees randomly selected seats. As we began eating, I noticed that there were four left-handers seated in a row. What an unexpected coincidence!

What difference does handedness make? We see the world differently.

We often have to reverse the way a right-hander shows us to do something. Though I learned to tie my shoes when I was 3, I didn't learn to tie a pretty bow until I was in college and dissected the way a right-handed friend went through the steps.

Most tools are designed for a right-handed user. We must adapt our way of using these tools or find those especially designed for left-handers. This is one more reason that we left-handers are quite creative. We intuitively think of alternative ways to do things.

We tend to seek the seats in a dining situation that will allow us to have our left hand at the left end of the table, so we don't bump elbows with our right-handed seat mates. Yes, we are most considerate!

Our right-handed teachers have to stop and think through a process when they are teaching us. I know that I always learn most from teaching another. Our right-handed teachers learn from analyzing the different way that left-handers do things.

Different ways of seeing the world are always beneficial. What inherent trait allows you to observe the world differently?

What's Your Wake-Up Call?

If you are among the lucky ones, the only wake-up call you recognize is your morning alarm clock.

For so many others, their wake-up call is much more jarring:

Today will be your last day at XYZ Company
Your medical test results weren't what we had hoped they would be
You did not pass the exam
If you don't meet objectives within the next 90 days, your employment will be terminated
You were clocked at 20 miles over the speed limit
You are pregnant
You are miscarrying the baby
There has been an accident
Though you were very qualified, we extended the job offer to another candidate
We tried everything but weren't able to save your loved one
Your bid was ranked second
Your colleague received the promotion you were expecting
You have gained 20 pounds since your last annual exam
Your charge was denied

We all get unpleasant news during our lives. How we react makes a tremendous difference in the course of our lives and those of our loved ones. The news can be a catalyst for change, renewed commitment and increased empathy for others. Or it can be the beginning of a downward spiral.

Let's be thankful for each day that our only wake-up call is delivered by an alarm clock.