Dealing with the Stress of Running Late

We don't all view time the same way!  For some, being less than 5 minutes early = late.  For others, on time =  within 5 minutes of the appointed time.  And for others, an hour glass or calendar might be the best way to predict their arrival.  When we release the notion that others are necessarily going to adapt to or adopt our view of timeliness, and find productive ways to spend waiting time, our stress levels decrease.  And we'll be less harsh with ourselves when we fall victim to a traffic jam, unexpected client phone call or meeting that runs beyond the appointed time.

Respectful accommodation and sincere apologies are two sides of dealing with tardiness of others or ourselves.

Make Everything Count

It's easy to become victim to our busy schedules with so many meetings commanding space on our calendars.  When we create priorities, expectations and contingencies, we accomplish more than when we allow our busy calendars to dictate our activities. 

Priorities - These are the events that we will attend.  (Everyone has unexpected emergencies, but these are the events we commit to sans an emergency.)  Because they are priority activities, we find a colleague to represent us if we can't be there.

Expectations - This category is tricky.  We are challenged to capture our own expectations and the expectations of those who count on us professionally and personally. We must consciously make time for these priorities that may not be event specific.

Contingencies - Leaving 5-10 minutes before your think you must to be on time for a meeting is one example of contingency planning.  Keeping place holders on your calendar for events you'd like to attend if your scheduled commitment changes is another.

A Lot of Help From Friends

When the power went off in our building this morning we had to develop a contingency plan to host a special group of guests for a luncheon. After 45 minutes, with no indication of resolution, we had to enlist the help of our next door hotel neighbors and the flexibility of our caterer to create an alternate venue.  Thanks to PDAs, email notification of the change of venue was possible. 

The hotel makes a lot of revenue from food and beverage, so under ordinary circumstances they would never have allowed us to rent a room and bring an outside caterer to produce the event.  And for these same reasons, the caterer had never produced an event at a hotel.   Thankfully, the hotel made an exception to policy and the caterer has had experience in setting up their mobile operations in widely varied venues.  Fire code necessitated setting up the cooking elements outside the hotel for today's luncheon.

All of our expected guests (plus an extra one) arrived, and a great time was had by all.  Fortunately, we had a terrific, long-standing relationship with our hotel neighbor and caterer.  Both parties rose to the occasion to help us create the special event we'd planned.  We all need help from our friends, but we don't always know when.  I believe that it was only because of our positive relationships that we were able to change venues and make the event appear seamless to our guests.

What Time is It?

I had intended to set my alarm clock for 5:20 a.m. to be able to leave for the airport by 6:30.  I hopped out of bed as the alarm rang, expecting plenty of time for my morning routine.  Things had to accelerate when I realized it was actually 6:00 a.m. Though I made the necessary adjustments to make the flight, I puzzled all day how I could have mis-set my alarm clock for the first time ever. 

The mystery was finally solved as I was setting the alarm for the next day's activities.  The alarm had been properly set.  However the actual time displayed on the clock was off by 40 minutes.  That clock is only used as an alarm, not for checking time. 

My near miss of an important business obligation reminded me that when tackling anything important, making assumptions is risky.  Accurately assessing the starting point is critical in order to take the necessary steps to smoothly proceed.  And, this was another vivid reminder that by allowing more time than expected to complete a task, unexpected contingencies can be accommodated.

Tired of Changing Plans?

Sometimes we intentionally change our plans, other times circumstances cause the change.  I had Monday afternoon through Wednesday afternoon carefully planned to accommodate a board meeting, birthday celebration, dental appointment, 2nd board meeting, travel to Austin, Austin event, travel to Houston and Houston event.

I walked to my car with just enough time to make it to the first of these 8 commitments. That quickly changed as I noticed that my right rear tire was flat. With this unexpected change of plans I emailed the CEO and Board Chair just before calling roadside assistance.  Ben arrived within 30 minutes and mounted the spare in a flash.  Minutes later, we heard a loud, startling bang.  The valve on my spare blew.  He determined that there was a very slow leak in my right rear tire and inflated it to the maximum allowed then remounted it to allow me to safely reach the tire store.  My first board meeting was replaced by three trips to two different tire stores over a punctuated 13-hour period, allowing me to honor all seven additional commitments.

No one other than a tire store or manufacturer likes tire problems.  However, I was most thankful for the timing of my problem.  In any other scenario during this tightly scheduled agenda, my tire problem would have presented itself on a freeway rather than in my parking garage. 

Regardless of how carefully we plan, the way we embrace the unexpected colors our view of the world and others' views of us.  Ranting and raving doesn't get us back on track.  Flexibly executing an alternate plan does.

Iced!

The 90-mile trip to the airport was littered with vehicles that had slid off the road. The 18-wheelers that "slid-collided" made me realize that I was way out of my sun-belt driving league. And I was jettisoned back in memory to an icy trip years before that shut down the major Arkansas thoroughfares for many hours.  Regardless of our plans, when icy conditions prevail, we must slow down, stop or change course.

Oh No, My Toe

There's nothing like a deadline to make me realize that I can only control so many elements, and ultimately I'm not in charge.  

I woke up early on 12/23. Every minute was pre-allocated.  There were many presents to wrap and deliver, plus some yet to acquire.  I was looking forward to making treats for our neighbors.  The Mistletoe Ball was scheduled for 8:00 p.m.  And our Arkansas departure was set for 4:00 a.m. on 12/24. There were also a couple of work deadlines to cram into my vacation schedule.

My perfectly crafted plan did not allow for 3 1/2 hours at Baylor Family Medicine.  My little toe lost a battle with Julia's suitcase and looked like it was taking a permanent left turn.  All personal attempts to put it back in place were futile, and the swelling added to the sense of emergency.  Thankfully, x-rays confirmed my guess that it was dislocated rather than broken.

After realigning my toe, the medical staff seemed surprised when I asked how soon I could wear heels.  Their 3-4 week timeline didn't match my 3-4 hour requirement. 

Though the day went haywire, enough was accomplished.  I like to celebrate at least 12 days of Christmas. Hope my neighbors will too!

I'm Early, Now What?

All of the chefs I know, both family and paid professionals, can only meet their own and constituent expectations by planning and preparing for the event(s) ahead. Whether family meals, parties or a daily influx of new and returning patrons, they need to know who will or might be joining them. My most vivid example of extreme chef preparation and flexibility occurred earlier this year when one of my normal venues for my Sterling Bank Women's Business Initiative luncheons failed to notify the chef when the date of our event changed. Their internal change order reflected a day of the week/calendar date mismatch and they internally resolved the discrepancy without consulting me. I was traveling from out-of-town and thankfully arrived very early the morning of our luncheon. In fact, I was a day earlier than the chef and staff were expecting me. We had a challenge to create a positively, memorable event rather than making apologies and experiencing a bomb. There could have been enormous negative ramifications. My mind raced to determine what "big kid happy meals" I could procure, deliver and position (explain) with only 2 hours notice. Thankfully, this experienced, professional chef always plans ahead. And I'm the only one (plus a few trusted Sterling Bank colleagues) who know that we were so close to delivering an unexpected contingency option.

This successful event, delivered, despite severe challenges was only possible because a professional chef plans ahead.

Is the Grass Greener?

The grass is always greener when a professional is responsible for the care and feeding.

This applies to instances when we hire professionals to maintain our grounds. It is also relevant to job search options when an individual is discontented with a current employer but hasn't professionally examined the pros and cons of his/her current situation versus an alternative employer. If we only look at the above ground (green grass) optics, we may miss the deeply rooted core fundamentals. Temporary situations may look ominous, but we owe it to ourselves, careers and employers to determine if this is a temporary (water rationing during a drought) anomaly or a systemic problem. Unless we professionally invest time to understand and examine our current situation versus alternatives we may fall victim to the reality that the grass is really only greener in very specific geographies (employers).

May green grass flourish as we professionally invest in the care and feeding of our careers.

Rain

A rainy morning wasn't what we expected as we rose to fish on Saturday morning. We'd traveled five hours to enjoy a holiday weekend filled with fun, food and fishing. My husband and son are avid anglers, so weather adjustments are something they deal with frequently. Since I'm not much of an outdoorsman, weather doesn't usually alter my plans. I was ready to catch fish.

Contingency planning is as important for leisure activities as for work. The fishermen in my life continue to model patience for me. Finally got to enjoy that new novel. And when the rain stopped, the fishing began.

Missing in Action

Our wonderful cat, Tiger, has been a cherished member of the family for 14 years. Aging has provided interesting behaviors and options. He's always been an inside cat, but in the last few weeks, he has been interested in exploring the backyard. Not a problem! Our backyard is safely gated, with no way for a geriatric cat to escape. Or so we thought! Why didn't we think about meter readers? We didn't think of them because we'd never had a backyard pet. Panic set in soon after my precious husband discovered that the meter reader left the gate ajar. The search began. Our very responsible yard man said he'd seen a "new" cat in our front yard. Because of the extreme heat we hoped that he'd found a shady spot and would return home as soon as hunger plagued him. When we made our umpteenth trip outside to try to find Tiger, we met our dear friend and neighbor leaving a neighbor's home from a visit. Before we posted signs everywhere, we wanted to personally alert all of our neighbors who we could find that our cat whom they had never seen was missing. Bingo! Tiger was spotted in the neighbor's yard, but no one knew who he owned. A few lucky coincidences brought precious Tiger back home.

Lessons learned: contingency planning is critical in all areas of our lives, observant friends provide invaluable insight, continually seeking the result you want often results in success, never give up if there's a possibility of success.