Don't Rain on Anyone Else's Parade!

Each of us finds fulfillment and enjoyment in different big and small ways.  And big and small are relative.  Things that I find exciting may be tremendously boring to others.  And things that bring great joy to others may be trivial to me.

However, we can make the world a happier place by eagerly interacting, actively listening and responding with empathy and interest to others.  We might even learn something in the process!

What is a Volunteer?

There are countless descriptive definitions and examples of volunteering.  Volunteers make priceless impact every day.  As I was running this morning, in a volunteer t-shirt, I thought of a simplistic way of depicting what ideal volunteers are:

• Valuable
• Open
• Listening
• Understanding
• Needed
• Talented
• Empathetic
• Energized
• Resource

Thank you to each of you for making such a difference in so very many ways!

What Did You Hear?

This week I heard a disjointed presentation by a keynote luncheon speaker.  I didn't know my seat mates, but by reading a couple of expressions, thought I detected their disappointment at the quality of the presentation.  However, after the event an email string connecting some additional attendees who had exchanged cards, provided an enthusiastic assessment of the presentation by two of the attendees. 

This experience reminded me that what we hear and how we process the information can be vastly different than others who hear the same words.  Regardless of what is actually said, when common understanding is critical, we must take time to assess what others in the group actually heard.

My First Six Word Story

Since I'm the queen of cliff notes, I absolutely love the concept of 6 word stories and here is my first:

Listen!
Respond appropriately...
Live happily forever!

I Thought You Said...

Two recent workplace experiences reminded me that we often hear what we expect to hear.  A colleague asked a relationship banker for information about a tower company.  The responding colleague heard and provided information on a towel company.  The response was 100% correct for the question heard, but not responsive at all to the question actually asked. 

On the heels of this situation, another colleague asked about the toffee in the break room (home made and apparently delicious) and the respondent provided a response about the coffee.

Both incidents provided laughter therapy for those involved. And a reminder, that when accuracy is important, we need to verify that what we heard is actually what was said.  Asking the question a different way can often validate the information or surface the miscommunication.

This tactic can also work well when communicating with friends and family members who don't hear well and those who don't enunciate. 

Eye Can Make a Difference

One of my colleagues suffers from eye allergies.  Her red eyes and comments caused me to provide her the coupon I received from my (new) eye doctor for a significant discount for an over-the-counter medication.  She reported good results today from this new treatment.  Everything is connected in ways that we don't always initially see.

Key to Listening

Yesterday afternoon, I answered the phone to a most welcome call in the midst of crazy busy activities, schedules and opportunities.  A very successful business woman greeted me with many messages that were music to my ears:

• As a follower of my blog, she had used one of my entries successfully for one of her team meetings
• She reminded me who had introduced us many years ago
• She connected many of our shared wonderful colleagues
• She viewed me as someone she'd like as a mentor

She shared a memorable message about listening that her mother had shared with her as a young child - the letters in "listen" and "silent" are the same.  Sometimes a call from the blue is what we need to remind us that we can only truly hear when we eliminate the extraneous noise. 

Varied Ways of Presenting

I recently spent 4 hours in a board retreat for a successful, respected non-profit organization.  Though I had heard the call to action presented in various meetings previously, photos, stories and comparative data were shared last week, that more vividly conveyed the necessity of the capital campaign. 

We can all fall victim to information paralysis, overload, mundane, difficult material or blah, blah, blah.  Just because we've said something doesn't necessarily mean that those we want to act on the information have understood what we want or why they need to do anything.

Repetition, illumination and confirmation help to ensure understanding.  Reminds me of so many classrooms of my youth.  I didn't know then the necessity of varied presentation to connect with so many listeners.

Three Selling Diamonds

Mark Miller, Principal, Strategies for Success, recently presented “Break the Rules and Close More Sales” for a Sterling Bank meeting. Mark reminded us that listening is one of the most important sales skills. He likened cold calling to trying to find three large diamonds in a 5-gallon bucket of safety glass chips. Finding the diamonds is difficult, but worth it. And he related that the #1 cause of deal death is failure to set an up-front agenda with the prospect.

Stop, Look and Listen

One of the most important, yet under-emphasized communications skills is active, intent listening.  When we stop what we are doing, make eye contact and listen carefully to another, we are giving them the gift of attention and expressing interest in their perspective.  And we are giving ourselves the benefit of an enhanced relationship with another.  When we concentrate on what is being said, rather than what we are going to say next, we can learn a lot.

Sharing

We all have things to share with others:

• Concern
• Experience
• Advice
• Mistakes
• Successes
• Connections
• Referrals
• Ideas
• Opinions
• Respect
• Understanding
• Values
• Wisdom
• Compassion

May we always remember that no matter where we are in our personal journeys, as we share with others, we increase our learning, experience and perspective.  Most often, important sharing involves listening intently and compassionately responding.

So Much to be Said

I spend my life advising, planning, connecting and executing.  Because I have the chance to interact with so many amazing individuals, I have the opportunity to glean their wisdom, incorporate their tips and selectively share their stories. I invite you to share your stories and recommend the successes of other phenomenal individuals who are Connecting Everything.

There's so much to be said.  When we listen, we continue to learn, allowing us to better lead from wherever we are.