Everyday Joy Lists

Since so much emphasis is given to bucket lists, we sometimes lose sight of "everyday joy lists". Ready smiles, frequent hugs, joyful greetings, sincere appreciation, deserved compliments, unexpected treats, satisfying tasks, nature's beauty, amazing meals, marvelous memories, special celebrations, minute milestones, spontaneous laughter and lots of love provide daily joy. The bigger the daily joy list becomes, the more we are able to celebrate moments and create memories rather than always anticipating the future.

Well That's Fantastic!

One of my colleagues shared a hilarious story of his 85-year old mother's recent text.  When his son made a great tackle, the family immediately shared a photo with Nana, who was far away.  Nana's quick text response "WTF" alarmed the family, as they knew that this June Cleaver-like woman had no idea of the contemporary understanding of these three letters. 

He was eager to keep her from sharing this text messaging with anyone else before he could have a conversation to explain what was conveyed, and understand what was intended.  When asked what she meant, she excitedly said, "Well That's Fantastic!".

What we mean and what others interpret are often quite different.  Great communication requires checking for common understanding.

Seeing Clearly Again!

My sight has always been so precious to me, especially since my uncorrected vision is so very poor.  Until last year, I was so fortunate to be able to see very well with contacts.  But, 2014 became known, among other things, as the year of reading glasses within reach.  Having worn contacts since seventh grade, and then rarely donning glasses since my first contact lens fitting, I was unprepared for life interrupted by the search for magnification.  Julia and Gar laughingly asked if there were reading glasses in every room.  And the answer was a resounding YES! 

At my annual eye exam I expressed my extreme frustration.  When Dr. L assessed my situation, he produced another life-changing solution, multifocal contacts. 

I didn't realize how much I'd actually visually missed during the last year until I once again had full range of vision without readers. 

Regardless of the nature of our correctable issue, we owe it to ourselves to seek options that work, something that I once again see clearly.

Seizing Moments Throughout the Year

Happy 2015!  It's exciting to make plans to ensure that the new year is filled with joy, love and laughter.  Planning and executing against big goals is important.  Equally important is seizing little moments of success throughout the year.  And since so much of life is filled with maintenance tasks, there are abundant opportunities to acknowledge a completed task, that will almost immediately need to be tackled again.  Examples include those magic moments when:

• the laundry baskets are empty
• there are no dishes in the dishwasher
• every item on the shopping list has been acquired
• all surfaces are dust-free
• the trash and recycling bins have just been emptied
• correspondence is up-to-date

Acknowledging completion of a task is satisfying.  With the next change of clothes, meal consumed or incoming message, the cycle for that activity begins again.  Magic moments are fleeting but we have continuing chances to enjoy each small success.

Lovable

God and good mothers love us as we are.  Pets love us as if we were God.  May we all remember that regardless of how harsh we can be to ourselves, we are lovable just the way we.

Good Enough

My definition of great, for any specific task, and yours are quite likely very different. "Good enough" brings me much joy and far less stress than continually striving for an elusive "best".  Continuous improvement is in my DNA, but embracing "good enough" each day keeps me happy and healthy (and probably more fun to be around). 

I've decided to be perfectly imperfect, rather than constantly struggling for impossible perfection.  Good enough is perfectly imperfect.

Time to Relax

The glorious holidays are filled with marvelous opportunities to celebrate with cherished family and friends.  It's sometimes only when the last present is purchased, the last task completed or the calendar marks Christmas Day that we finally allow ourselves time to relax. 

Moments are often all that are needed to recharge our batteries.  I'm going to try to remember that regardless of how many items are on my perpetual to-do list, taking a few moments to relax each day needs to be a recurring priority entry.  

Winning by Watching

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend time with a dear friend who is in middle school.  Among our activities was a card game, Phase 10, that I'd played once when Julia introduced it during her last visit.  It was great to watch her competitiveness emerge during the phases of the game.  Though I lost, I won by watching her compete.

It reminded me that score is just one measure of winning.  We often win by encouraging others, spending time with them, and competing in efforts where age, skill and experience don't dictate winners.

The Magic of Distance

A dear friend and I were recently analyzing the reasons that some out-of-town business trips can generate great memories with work colleagues who already are, or because of the trip, become great friends.

Many of us have countless opportunities to visit with work colleagues in the office, at luncheons and after work events.  When we're at home, each of these sessions comes to a natural conclusion, with each of us returning to the demands of daily responsibilities - job, family and community.  When we are out of town, these normal daily demands are temporarily suspended.  Those great conversations can continue without detriment to other responsibilities.

We owe it to ourselves, and those we hold dear, to create some less time-bounded opportunities to let our conversations morph as they can when our daily responsibilities are distant.

Balancing Work, Life and Stress

Sometimes we just need to schedule time to talk about how we can create our most effective blended work, family, community and individual lives. Today, three of my colleagues and I spent time pondering how best to balance work, life and stress, in anticipation of an event on Friday.

Some tips include:

• Focus on gratitude
• Protect time for self-care
• Set boundaries between work, family and other activities
• Create transition time during the commute to move from work/home to self to home/work
• Establish entry/exit routines to move from work/home and home/work
• Don't wait for big times - a glass of wine with your spouse after work is special
• Take time for daily devotional, exercise or other super start to the day
• Communicate clearly and compassionately 
• Agree to roles and responsibilities

Remains of the Tray

My favorite gatherings are those where the slight remains of the trays are consumed in the kitchen, reminiscing about the lovely time enjoyed by all.  

What Happens When Stuff Happens

When stuff happens we can:

• react
• respond
• reflect
• rejoice
• remember
• reverse
• reprimand
• reprieve
• reconsider
• read
• rest
• run
• risk
• reveal
• reinvent
• renovate
• report
• reach-out

Or, we can stop and get our bearings, before doing anything else.

Service is the Heart of Business

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Slowed

I'm an energizer bunny, and was unexpectedly and suddenly slowed, from my warp speed pace this weekend.  After a three mile run, and tackling several things on my to do list, I experienced an action stopping back spasm, that rendered me incapable of moving without serious pain.

Because I'm active, healthy and mentally programmed to accomplish the things planned, I assumed that this would pass within a few moments.  It took 24 hours for me to regain any degree of customary mobility.  And 2 1/2 days later, I still twinge with a change of position.

This extremely frustrating, painful and slowed weekend vividly reminded me how quickly things can change.  As I'm regaining speed, I'm even more thankful for how remarkably well my body generally functions.

Temporarily slowed... but not stopped...
Things take longer in slow motion...
Time to think...
New ways to do...
Regaining speed...
With new perspective!

Humor Advantage

Mary Feeley, edutained (educated and entertained) Comerica Bank's Women Business Symposium guests last week, as she shared the importance of laughter in our lives.  She gave many ways for each of us to combat a plague-like situation in our workplaces: HDD - Humor Deficit Disorder.  She effectively used humor to convey the importance of being a blend of the following orientations:

• Action
• Detail
• People

I'm delighted to discover that I'm an action-oriented, detailed, people person.  

Caring and Sharing

I'm thrilled that my life is filled with so many different opportunities to deepen friendships by sharing meaningful perspectives.  This past week, I hosted seven other members of Greater Houston Partnership's Executive Women's Partnership for a fall dine-around.  I knew each of these amazing women, from varied industries, before they arrived, but had not previously spent meaningful time with two of them.

We caught up on big changes before sitting down for dinner.  Over salads, we contemplated the question we'd been asked to consider by GHP about workforce.  Then, the sharing and caring began, as we contemplated "gratitude".  This simple open-ended round-table discussion provided a chance to get to appreciate one another at an "everything's connected" level.  So many unexpected connections, shared experiences and appreciation for who we all are at the core, were revealed.

Though it's impossible to recreate the magic of a single special event, the sharing and caring provide wonderful memories to enhance each relationship.

Each of us has the chance at structured events to get to know others at a more memorable level. Asking about gratitude can cause a pessimist to reconsider the situation, and give an optimist the chance to spread joy.

Homecoming Feels Like Coming Home

Homecoming at Ole Miss this weekend felt like coming home, though my only official tie to the state is my son, Gar, who is a student.  What a remarkable student body and alumni group!  Ten acres of  side by side open air tents were most hospitable to friends, strangers and opposing team fans.

What a great tribute to the whole community, that Oxford demonstrated in so many ways, what true Southern Hospitality means.  I'm grateful to have experienced graciousness above competitiveness, enthusiastic friends by association, and thousands of genteel, fun-loving Southerners who made me feel at home.

Pen Pal

Many of my older friends, who are retired, retiring or contemplating this life change wonder what their less structured days may hold.  Though I am still happily, productively employed, and very actively engaged in community volunteering,  I've recently, accidentally discovered, a meaningful and flexible way to make a difference, as a pen pal.

My new pen pal is a former colleague's adult child, who I initially met as a Special Olympics athlete. There are so many folks, young and old, whose lives can be brightened by occasional letters from those outside their immediate circles.  And, as fate would have it, our lives are brightened equally or greater.

Amazing Timing

There's a time for everything and it always thrills me when I have the chance to be a part of amazing timing.  Some recent examples:

• A friend I've not seen in over 3 years came to mind recently, and I sent her a note.  It arrived when she was in the hospital, brightening her day.
• My trips to the post office are infrequent.  My attempt yesterday to assess postage for a package to Daddy was thwarted by an out of order self-service machine.  Thus, I ventured today to the post office nearest my office, at the end of the traditional lunch hour.  This post office had technology issues, and could only accept cash and predetermined package sizes.  And, the parking lot was full of folks trying to transact normal business.  Though I've never previously seen a work colleague at a post office, today I did. A long-time colleague, a few folks ahead of me, turned to leave and return with cash, when I offered cash to complete her task.
• A friend and I were going to see a movie at our neighborhood theater this weekend.  Because of the rain, she was planning to pick me up.  However, the rain stopped, and I started walking meeting her near the theater, which saved critical minutes with her unplanned demands.  

Sometimes perfect planning reveals itself after our plans are altered.

Everything is Personal

One of the least astute cliches someone can use, when delivering bad news is "Don't take it personally".  This ineffective catch-phrase, is at best, a time-filler, in an uncomfortable conversation to let the hearer know that she/he was not selected for a job, promotion, continued employment or other important roles.  

The way that we perceive each moment, day, week, month, year, decade and lifetime is uniquely personal.  And, thankfully our perceptions are as unique as we are.  Since everything is personal, we have an opportunity to selectively share with appropriate audiences of, 1 to millions, our ideas to improve the world our way.